Dealing With Cyber Assault
i take my submission very seriously, whether i happen to be in an online chatroom, at a munch or kneeling before my Master. in every way, i wish only to be pleasing and respectful to T/those around me. i have been told a number of times that if i am going to survive online i ought to "toughen up", so i can deal better with what is thrown at me on a daily basis.
this attitude, that subs and slaves ought to change their mannerisms and behaviour because of the bad behaviour of a few seems, at least to this girl, to be an outrageous suggestion. the idea of being rude to A/another simply because T/their own manners are lacking is, to me at least, an alien concept.
i was brought up to believe that two wrongs do not make a right, and that bad company is no excuse for bad behaviour. when S/someone is rude to me, i try to be polite back. i believe in my heart that this is the right thing to do and i plan to continue.
unfortunately, this has left me in more than a few "sticky" situations. S/some of T/those i have come across assume my respect and my manners give T/them free reign to treat me as though i were T/their slave. this does not only happen with rogue Dom/mes, but with fellow subs and slaves as well, which i find most disheartening.
this is not simply because i am unowned; it also would occur, though decidedly less often, while i was previously collared. then at least, i had a trump card i could play; if S/someone's actions got out of hand i could simply, quietly says something akin to: "if Y/you wish to do/say such things to this girl, Y/you ought first to consult with her Owner." usually, though not always, this would stop the P/person in question. for a while now, though, i have been unowned and the incidents of this sort have increased exponentially.
on some occasions, i have been forced to leave a room out of discomfort, or had to call on a Dom/me friend for assistance. i have sat, trembling, staring at my monitor in fear, and i have had tears spill from my eyes in hurt and frustration. i don't know if T/those who took these actions knew how much T/they affected me; to be honest, i doubt that T/they do.
what, Y/you may be asking Y/yourself, have these P/people done to this girl to create such a reaction? i have been "groped" and "spanked", "grabbed", "swatted", and "slapped", but all of that hurts far less than T/those who would intimidate and order me about: T/those who ordered me to remove my silks, who order me to serve or service T/them in inappropriate ways, who tell me i am a bad slave for refusing T/them, who say cruel, harsh things to me, calling me names, trying to humiliate me.
i cannot even begin to understand the motivations of these people. to me, making people uncomfortable or hurting them is a foreign concept; it is the last thing i would ever do. in the interest of my own sanity, perhaps, i choose to believe that these P/people simply do not understand proper behaviour.
this makes it even more important for me to hold fast to good behaviour and proper manners. in this small way, perhaps i can become a good example. if i were to be rude in response, the P/person in question would see that bad behaviour is a norm, an acceptable way to act. as a teacher, i know my students will mirror my actions far more than my words or commands, particularly if they conflict; the same is true with P/people one meets in the community.
as a system op on the chat site i go to, i believe it is even more important to be polite and well behaved, because i am a representative of the chat site and it's administration. in a larger, even more important sense, i am a representative every day of the D/s community at large, as are all of Y/you. thus, i urge Y/you, when faced with a similar situation, to remember that there is never an excuse for bad behaviour or poor manners, no matter the circumstance.
please don't misunderstand me, i am not saying rude behaviour on the part of O.others should be accepted or tolerated. however, there are ways to let P/people know T/their actions and/or words are inappropriate without lowering O/oneself to T/their level. it may not always be the easiest route, but P/people looking for the easy way though life usually won't find T/themselves in D/s to begin with. yes, it takes patience, and surprising strength as well, but the results are well worth the effort. it is one more step in creating a kinder, gentler, more welcoming and nurturing community for us A/all to share. till next we meet, be well and happy -- di.