This article was posted to an egroups list by a Master named Kuma.  Some may wonder why i chose to post this article here as it pertains much more to submissives and Doms than it does to Masters and slaves.  For one, this site is for everyone in any apspect of a BDSM relationship, particularly newbies.  Secondly, much of what Master Kuma speaks about is just as important for slaves as it is for submissives.  Slaves do need to have self respect, and to beed to be strong within themselves in order to be good slaves.  Whether or not our Master chooses to give us any degree of respect is, of course, up to Him.  However, it is extremely important for a slave to choose a Master who is respectful of a slave's life, needs, etc, since she will have to trust wholly in His judgement should she choose to belong to Him.  Okay, enough of my comments from the peanut gallery...
 

Personal respect is critical to your life. What separates us from those that behave improperly and without care and consideration is our ability to establish and maintain personal guidelines and limits. We take stock in ourselves by how we behave towards others and ourselves. That stock can either be blue chip or bankrupt, simply by the personal choices we make. Make no mistake - if you don't live by a decent, well thought out, realistic set of values and actions, then you cannot respect yourself in any way.

Everyone, everywhere can have self-respect at any time simply by establishing what and how their life is going to be or not going to be and never wavering from those decisions.  The easier road is to always change for others, and simply accept the consequences.  This method convinces yourself and others that you have no self-worth, can be easily manipulated, and are a weak individual, and is, quite possibly, one of the most self defeating emotions that can be sustained in life. The harder, but much more self-supporting road is to draw the lines that define your life and hold those lines as that which delineates your self-respect.  It is never too late to take the first step of respecting yourself if you have lost it along the way. I am firm in the belief that most of us have, at some point or another, lost some self-respect for a variety of reasons. Recognizing that you want to respect yourself again is actually taking the first small step. For those that have it, you know that how vital this is to everything that you do and feel.

Part of the anti-BDSM mantra is that "any woman who acts as a submissive or a slave to a Master or Mistress is completely without self-respect of any kind". At first, this is just laughable, and clearly shows the shallowness of this entirely uninformed opinion, but on a second reading, it really becomes inflammatory towards those that lovingly, willingly, completely submit to their Masters/Mistresses with all their hearts and souls. A submissive carries in them a power just as equal (if not more so, at times) to Dominants.  Yes, that's right, I said it out loud. The submissives of this world are a force to always be reckoned with, and are a large part of any power exchange.  Any person, in my opinion,  who voluntarily chooses to submit has chosen a life of strength, happiness, and high self-respect and esteem, and is to be valued as a singularly unique and special individual.

Another part of this mantra is that "any person who dominates another is simply victimizing a weak, helpless soul for his or her own gratification". Once again, submissives are some of the strongest people I know, they have voluntarily submitted to a Master or Mistress, and to work on all levels, there has to be a power exchange between two people, not just one. Masters and Mistresses (again in my opinion) who voluntarily have chosen the life of a Dominant, are placed equally in a life of strength, happiness and self-respect by their own actions and code of ethics.

 Respect of others can occur at many levels, and is generally realized when a person has earned and honors your trust. Respect cannot be purchased, demanded or requested. It is earned over time through real, honest effort and consideration. Dominants have a very narrow road to tread in this regard, as there is a fine line between control and intimidation. Respect in the lifestyle is earned from honest, caring control; fear in any life is imposed from intimidation, and the two should never be confused. Real Dominants do not force their way through their lives and the lifestyle, but rather maintain a strong personal command of themselves and the world around them. These are people who can be trusted and eventually respected. Those that bull their way through everything and maintain what they perceive to be control by fear and intimidation are not true Dominants  and do not deserve the title or respect accorded to them. Regrettably, the number of individuals who pose as real respectable Dominants far outnumber those that are real respectable Dominants, but that’s a subject for another article.