This was posted on a newsgroup and I think it presents an interesting view on the subject. Because i also had a Catholic upbringing there is much in this that i agree with.  There is also much i disagree with, but *wink* to avoid prejudice i won't comment before you read.  The author credited on the newsgroup was Lynn Public.

Love
The concept of love to me has value at the heart of it.  I love because I value something and since I value it, I desire it.

As I grew up, I acquired a sense of valuelessness.  I was poor.  I was shy.  I was small and not particularly smart.  My mother supported us with a succession of live-ins that paid the bills.  Many only stayed the week, or weekend.  I saw stuff that maybe I shouldn't have and was doing
the same stuff by fourteen.  I moved in with a guy just after graduation.  A month later my mother moved and left no forwarding address and I didn't see her for five years.  She wasn't angry with me.  I just wasn't important.

I got a good Catholic grammar school education that filled me with a strong concept of sin.  I learned to accept the probability of my eternal residence in Hell.  I learned of the God that slew the new born in Egypt.  The God that had his only child brutally tortured and killed. I learned of saints, the ones I was to emulate that whipped themselves or offered themselves in sacrifice to be tortured and martyred.

I got it all wrong, I bet, but it is still in me.  I learned to value pain, humiliation and sacrifice.  That God required it of me.  It was my road to salvation.  Through it, through pain, humiliation and sacrifice the worthless ones could be gathered into God’s bosom to live in eternal bliss.

Loving someone.
If love is seeing the value of things, then loving is seeing the value of someone and drawing them close.  Loving is submerging oneself through sacrifice and giving to the valued one and along with it naturally comes the pain and humiliation.

Being loved.
Being loved is being drawn to the bosom.  Being accepted is bliss.  Just as a human have no value except as they reflect God, we worthless ones have no value except as we reflect the value of our loved one.

My need to be a victim.
Some may detect my self-pity.  It is there as part of my masochistic nature.  My rape only reinforced it, not because of the act but because it got me to focus on my desire to be a victim.  Since then I wanted to be a sexual victim.  I have found out that I can climax from pain or humiliation alone and that the presence of others heightens my sense of being a victim.

My sexual desires.
I began pleasuring myself by the time I was eight and I still continue doing it, in or out of relationships.  I seldom go to sleep without sexual gratification either from my partner or myself.  My scenario is always pain, humiliation or sacrifice.  I want to be hung on the cross and brutalized.  I want it to be done in public so others may see.

Last thoughts.
I am not describing ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but what ‘is.’   Want to hurt me, reject me.  Want to accept me, then do it painfully, with humiliation and I will sacrifice my body and eternal soul for you.