Email Archive Page G

Date: Sun, 16 Feb 1997 22:03:41 -0800
From: Mike
Subject: David's passing
 
Dear email friends and loved ones,
My lover, partner, companion and good friend, David , sculptor,
painter, restorer of the American Carouselle Museum, died earlier today,
February 16, at age 51.
David was originally taken to hospital in the early am of February 6 where
he was admitted for diagnosis with a variety of mild but troubling symptoms
including difficulty expressing his thoughts, forgetfulness, mild
disorientation and some loss of vision in his right eye. Tests determined
that David was HIV negative and that a tumor existed in the left rear area
of his brain.
After a week of observation, diagnosis and treatment with antibiotics and
anti-inflammatories, he was released into my care on February 12, pending
brain surgery which had been scheduled for this coming Tuesday, February
18. He was to continue taking anti-inflammatory and anti-siezure
medications.
David and I were able to spend time together on Thursday February 13 and
Friday February 14, Valentines Day. Also on February 14, he was taken for
pre-op registration where blood was taken and he and his brother Phil
talked with the neurosurgeon who would be conducting the operation.
The indications we were given at that time were guarded but hopeful; the
nature and full extent of the tumor being unknown. It was also made clear
that this was a very serious situation.
That evening, after a late meal, I noticed David was having increasing
difficulty expressing his thoughts. I thought perhaps he was simply over
extended and needed to rest so I got him into bed. He awoke around midnight
complaining of headache, and asked for Tylenol which was given. At 3 am he
awoke me saying he could not sleep and asked to be given stronger pain
relief. I asked if he wished to be returned to the hospital and with great
reluctance, he said yes.
I returned David to the ER by 3:30 am February 15. By that time he had
begun vomiting. He was admitted and given iv morphine and fluids. Another
cat scan was performed to determine if there had been any change in the
tumor. David's case was reviewed by the surgeons at about 8:30 am but they
gave no indication of alarm. Exhausted from little sleep for many nights, I
left David in the care of his brother Phil and sister in law, Cindy. David,
though sedated, was aware of my presence and able to express his wishes to
me, although with great difficulty. He indicated to me that the morphine
was not really "doing the trick." Soon tehre after, David was re-admitted'
and placed in the Trauma Care Unit to be kept under observation. When Phil
and Cindy left him in early afternoon, he was being well cared for and was
sound asleep.
He never regained consciousness.
At 2 am February 16, I was awakened by a call from the Dr. saying that
David's condition had taken a severe turn for the worse. His tumor had
herniated causing David to go into coma and causing severe brain damage. He
was no longer breathing on his own and was being given oxygen and had been
put on a ventilator. The Dr. indicated that emergency surgery could be
performed in the hope of removing the tumor and effecting some relief but
in his opinion the extent of the damage gave little if any hope of
recovery.
I called David's brother, Phil, and concurred with him that -- in
compliance with David's wishes as he had put them forth only a few days
before in his living will -- that the emergency procedure should not be
undertaken.
I returned to the hospital and was soon joined by other members of David's
family. We stayed by David's side until 4:30 am and were told that his
vital signs were strong and that although his brain was not functioning,
his body could easily live for another 48 hours or more. I and the family
returned to our homes hoping to get some needed sleep but were again
summoned by the hospital only a couple hours later, David's vital signs
having slipped markedly.
In compliance with law, tests were run and it was determined by two
independent physicians that David was technically brain dead. With these
formalities in place, oxygenation was removed and I and his family stayed
by his bedside until his heart stopped beating at roughly 1:30 pm.
I hope you will forgive me for this rather impersonal chronology of events.
It is not that I am without feeling about them. But I also felt that, due
to the shock of this news, many of you would want to know something of what
took place.
More important than these events, in my heart and mind, is the days David
and I were given together before his passing. There is much that I may, at
some point, have both the energy and time to say about these days, but that
will not be for some time. Until then, I offer the following:
It was not until I came home late this afternoon that I found one of the
gifts David has left for me. It is a little "alter" that sits on the floor
next to his side of the bed. He had assembled it off and on during the two
days he was out of the hospital but I hadn't taken the time to really
*look* at it before. It is made up of his favorite children's books; a
recent photograph of me; his own baby picture; a toy bi-plane given to him
by his brother, Phil; the four small teddy bears he had been given in the
hospital plus a fifth wearing a back pack, symbolizing travel and honoring
our love of hiking. And on the wall above these items was hung a gold
leafed theatrical half mask that David had hand made -- a silver tear
falling from one eye; his YES ON 215 (medical marijuana) pin; and, above
that, his last painting completed only three weeks ago: Two blood red
bi-planes sailing over the clouds into a dark night sky studded with bright
shining stars.
It's okay, Davey. I understand. You had to go.
And, Yes, I am with you.
 
David's body will be cremated and a memorial service will be held in his
sacred place -- the old Douglas Fir grove on Point Reyes National Seashore
-- toward the end of March.
With Love,
Mike

**************************************************************

From: "Andi
Subject: Davie, as In BT website Davie ;-)
Date: Mon, 17 Feb 1997 16:06:20 -0000
 
Hiya Guys and Gals, Gals and Guyz!
I'm just popping this short note together, scuse any typos
as I am Knackered,to let you know that Davie won't be
answering his email for a couple of days.
He's in Hospital at the moment with accute tonsilitis. The
swelling in his troat is so bad, he can't even swallow his
own saliva. I took him to the hospital last thursday
morning at 5 am as I was really worried about him. The doc
told his to use an anticeptic Gargle type mouthwash which
Davie never bothered with as it was the same when he was
ill last Oct/Nov.
He hasn't been able to eat anything properly since last
Tuesday, nearly a week. Last night it was so bad he had no
energy at all, so we went back to the hospital and they
admitted him and put him on IV Drip. I had to leave the
hos. at about11:30pm ish and came home.
Went back today, he was a little perky this morning, but
then the painkillers stopped working and he was in agony
again. I just popped home to grab a bite to eat and I'm off
back there in a bit.
Take care you lot and Chat to you soon.
Andi
xx
PS. I NEED SOME SERIOUS CAFEIN!!!!

**************************************************************

From: "Shaun
Subject: Re: David Brown's passing
Date: Mon, 17 Feb 1997 12:38:12 -0500
 
Mike-
I'm sure that there is small comfort that I or anyone on this list can offer
you, but with love I send my deepest regret that somone dear to you has
passed. There are never any words that can bring back a loved one, but
memories *will* live on. They will live on in you, and in every single
person that knew David. Even though I didn't know David, I still can't keep
the tears from flowing, because I can sense the love you have for him. The
past will never return, but with care and love, David's memorie will be
eternal and through you, he will be immortal.
Though the bond is only one made of phone lines and circuits, if you need
anyone, myself and I'm sure everyone on this list, is here. Our thoughts
will be with you.
With love
Shaun

**************************************************************

Date: Tue, 18 Feb 1997 19:44:12 -0500
From: Helen
Subject: Re: David Brown's passing
 
Dear Mike,
I was truly saddened by the news of David's passing and just wanted to
express my sympathy. I feel certain that you will be in the thoughts of
everyone here in our beautiful thing list, and I hope that the memories of
your own real-life beautiful thing give you some comfort.
Love and peace,
shane

**************************************************************

Date: Thu, 20 Feb 1997 14:16:35 -0800
From: Bruce
Subject: Re: Davie, as In BT website Davie ;-)
 
 
So, Andi, have is David feeling? We haven't heard from you since Monday.
 
Bruce

**************************************************************

Date: Thu, 20 Feb 1997 14:27:47 -0800
From: Bruce
Subject: Re: David Brown's passing
 
 
Mike, I was very sorry to hear of your loss. These things are always so
very hard, especially when they are this sudden. I know I'd be in terrible
shape if something like this happened to someone I was so close to.
Although I don't know you that well you seem like a wonderful person and
the relationship you had with David was obviously VERY special, truly a
"beautiful thing".
I put off writing this note because I wasn't sure what to say--I never
am in situations like this. I was hoping I could write something that
would ease your pain but I realized I don't know what that could possibly
be. So, I'll merely say that I'm here if you need me, for whatever reason.
 
Bruce

**************************************************************

Date: Fri, 21 Feb 1997 08:45:46 -0800
From: Jay
Subject: Re: Davie, as In BT website Davie ;-) -Reply
 
 
>>> Bruce  02/20/97 02:16pm >>>
So, Andi, have is David feeling? We haven't heard from you since
Monday.
Bruce
Last time I heard (Wed afternoon) BOTH Andi and Davie are suffering
from tonsillitis! So we may not hear from them for a few more days...
:o{ jay

**************************************************************

Date: Fri, 21 Feb 1997 12:30:46 -0800
From: Bruce
Subject: Re: Davie, as In BT website Davie ;-) -Reply
 
>Last time I heard (Wed afternoon) BOTH Andi and Davie are suffering
>from tonsillitis! So we may not hear from them for a few more days...
 
Yikes! They'd be better off just getting those things yanked out, it
sounds like. Then they wouldn't have to deal with this kind of nonsense
anymore. I hope they feel better soon.
 
Bruce

**************************************************************

From: "Andi
Subject: Andi Rossi and Davie Moody
Date: Fri, 21 Feb 1997 21:11:39 -0000
 
Hiya you lot
Just to let you know that Davie is outta Hospital, came out
on wednesday.
I got tonsilitis and flu and I feel like S**t. davie is sat
in his room revamping his website, not online yet, but
we'll keep you posted. I'm off back to curl up on the couch
and sniffle and cough.
Catch you lot laters
Andi
x

**************************************************************

Date: Sat, 22 Feb 97 22:45:58 UT
From: "H. Martin
Subject: Introduction
 
Hi All,
I just joined this e-mail list a couple of days ago and don't know exactly
what the protocol is, but thought I would introduce myself.
My name is Martin . I'm 23, live, work, and go to school just outside of
Washington, DC (in Fairfax, Virginia) in the States. I saw Beautiful Thing
for the first time last week at the Cinema at my school (George Mason
University), and loved it. That same night I bought the soundtrack and went
on the WWW hunting for where I might buy a copy of the movie. My search led
me to you guys (although I never did find out where I could buy a copy of the
movie -- maybe someone here can help).
My true hope for gay film is that one day sexuality will be such a nonissue
that they will do a gay Top Gun. Beautiful Thing is one of the first steps
down that path. It's just a love story (not that Top Gun was really a love
story, but you get the picture).
I look forward to meeting whomever is here (especially anyone on the east
coast or in DC who has seen the movie). If you get a chance, just drop me a
line, say hi, and let me know what types of things you guys usually talk
about.
I'm knackered, so I'll say goodbye for now.
Martin

**************************************************************

Date: Sat, 22 Feb 1997 18:37:53 -0600
From: Joe
Subject: Re: Introduction
 
H. Martin wrote:
>
> Hi All,
>
> I just joined this e-mail list a couple of days ago and don't know exactly
> what the protocol is, but thought I would introduce myself.
>
> My name is Martin . I'm 23, live, work, and go to school just outside of
> Washington, DC (in Fairfax, Virginia) in the States. I saw Beautiful Thing
> for the first time last week at the Cinema at my school (George Mason
> University), and loved it. That same night I bought the soundtrack and went
> on the WWW hunting for where I might buy a copy of the movie. My search led
> me to you guys (although I never did find out where I could buy a copy of the
> movie -- maybe someone here can help).
>
Welcome to the list, Martin.
The video for the movie won't be released in the U.S. until April or
May, according to Sony (according to info posted at the BT site). I sure
hope those dates hold up, because I plan to use Beautiful Thing in the
summer film course I teach.
> My true hope for gay film is that one day sexuality will be such a nonissue
> that they will do a gay Top Gun. Beautiful Thing is one of the first steps
> down that path. It's just a love story (not that Top Gun was really a love
> story, but you get the picture).
Actually, Top Gun - as you probably well know - had a huge gay
audience. Wonder why? :)
>
Gary

**************************************************************

Date: Sat, 22 Feb 1997 23:33:07 -0800
From: Bruce
Subject: Re: Introduction
 
>My name is Martin . I'm 23, live, work, and go to school just outside of
>Washington, DC (in Fairfax, Virginia) in the States. I saw Beautiful Thing
>for the first time last week at the Cinema at my school (George Mason
>University), and loved it. That same night I bought the soundtrack and went
>on the WWW hunting for where I might buy a copy of the movie. My search led
>me to you guys (although I never did find out where I could buy a copy of the
>movie -- maybe someone here can help).
 
Hi Martin. Good to know you! As best as can be determined at this
point the video of Beautiful Thing won't be released in the U.S. until
March or April sometime, unfortunately. I'm having withdrawals from the
film and I don't know if I can wait that long! But I guess we don't have a
choice. The video is available in the UK but their video standard is not
compatible with the one used in the U.S. so it wouldn't do you any good to
buy one. I guess you'll have to wait and wait and wait like the rest of us
poor souls. =^(
 
cheers,
Bruce

**************************************************************

Date: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 13:06:54 -0500 (EST)
From: NCA
Subject: Re: Introduction
 
Please remove me from your e mail list--now

**************************************************************

Date: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 19:57:03 +0100
From: Meinolf
Subject: This is Meinolf!
 
Dear friends out there!
This is Meinolf and I like to introduce myself to U.
I am from Bonn - Germany.
31 years young.
In the last few years I did studies in informatic, catholic theology and
psychology (in special neuro linguistic programming (NLP) and
transactional analysis (TA)).
Also I am interested in spirituality and esoterics (e.g. astrology).
For a few years I worked in the gay liberation group "Homosexuals and
Church" and in our local gay and lesbian centre.
I love to dance! And very often I use it to express myself and the
feelings I have in this very moment.
As I did last night after seeing "Beautiful Thing" for the 8th time in
two weeks. :-)
I hope I will get a video copy soon in one of the next weeks.
It's much cheaper than running to the cinema every day. ;-)
** sigh ** Anyway it was the last showing in a cinema in our area for
now.
So U can see the play touches my heart very intensive.
And I wonder what directions my live will take now with this new
understanding of some of the things in my past.
I hope U have a little impression of me.
And I am eager to know more about U all out there in this universe.
For now with love
Meinolf
PS. BTW If there is someone who can give me a history of the mailing
list before the 21. of February I would be very pleased. Send it to my
e-mail address.

**************************************************************

Date: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 14:11:05 -0600 (CST)
From: BRIAN
Subject: Re: Introduction
 
> Please remove me from your e mail list--now
>
What the #@$! is this guy's problem?! Why'd he sign up in the first
place??

**************************************************************

From: "Shaun
Subject: Wild Reeds
Date: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 23:37:49 -0500
 
OK, I know this is a "BT" movie list, but I just saw "Wild Reeds" and I was
wondering what if anyone else had any thoughts on this movie.
I don't know about any of you, but I loved BT and there is so much there
that i can relate to. However, while BT was an awsome movie, after seeing
Wild Reeds, it struck me that it *really* was more of a fairytale. (Hence
the subtitle of "An Urban Fairytale") I just never thought of it that way.
I actually felt like I had more in common with Francois (I doubt I spelled
it right, so I'm sorry). I just seemed like in comparing the movies, a
romantic vs. a realist.
I loved the end though ****Don't read farther if you haven't seen the movie
and would like to not have anything spoiled*****
But this is how I saw it and I would love to hear any other thoughts on
this. When (damn, I can't remember her name even though I just saw the
movie less than two hours ago) the girl began kissing Francois was it
because she wanted to recapture the feeling she had with (lost his name too.
I think it's because i didn't really hear them, I had to read them.) the
Algerian boy? Because she told Serge that she didn't want a man that saw
her as a woman. The Algerian didn't see her really as a woman, but as a
communist. He saw her mind and not her body. She knew that Francois was
the same way. He didn't see her for her body.
Anyway, just wondering what other's thought
Bye all
Shaun

**************************************************************

Date: Mon, 24 Feb 1997 09:05:42 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Just found your message
From: hamish
 
I'd been on here talking about the apparent end of my relationship about a
month and a half ago, and just found a reply I'd overlooked from Mike .
Thanks, Mike. Your open, unjudging comments were much appreciated.
Well, we had another round of happiness after that, but this Friday we came
back to the realization that there's something missing for us. If we make a
*decision* (i.e. weigh up the facts, our history, and our immense feelings
for each other), we'd be foolish to do this. But when we ask ourselves what
we *choose*, well, we chose on Friday.
"When we create duality in our thinking and our lives, we create
opposition." Right, so it's not him in my life, or him completely gone. Our
relationship is just different. We're just admitting to ourselves what it is
now. Everything in the world says we have to have some drama to warrant
breaking up, some big blow-up.
I'm confused. I'm excited. I'm relieved. And I'm scared.
And I suck at the bar thing. And the gym? "Hi, I know you're naked now, but
how 'bout we go for coffee after, assuming you're gay. You are gay right?
No? Then why are you at the Y?"
Maybe I'm just being covert about this and am making a subconscious attempt
to out my singleness to the Toronto crowd: GWM, 28, slim, blond hair, blue
eyes, 5'11", 150 lbs., available in small. medium, or large, thick crust,
thin crust, a six of Coke, 33 minutes or it's free.
It's February in Toronto. Maybe I'm just going crazy from the weather like
everyone else here. Maybe I'm being glib, but if I get all significant I'll
inject needless drama into the thing. I mean, this could be FUN, right?
Comments? Replies?
-hamish

**************************************************************

Date: Mon, 24 Feb 1997 18:20:46 +0000
From: Electronic
Subject: unsubscribe now
 
please take this email address of your mailing list now.
there must be no more notes sent to this address.
it should never have been given to you in the first place.
sorry

**************************************************************

Date: Mon, 24 Feb 1997 21:27:43 +0100
From: Bjarte
Subject: Re: unsubscribe now
 
Electronic  wrote:
>
> please take this email address of your mailing list now.
>
> there must be no more notes sent to this address.
>
> it should never have been given to you in the first place.
>
> sorry
--
- Bjarte

**************************************************************

Date: Tue, 25 Feb 1997 21:22:24 GMT
To: carmen
Subject: join beautiful-thing
 
Command executed OK
to leave the list send the line
leave beautiful-thing
to ftlist@zzapps.demon.co.uk

**************************************************************

From: "Vinnie" <vin@indigo.ie>
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 1997 16:04:30 +0000
Subject: Re: Introduction
 
> Date: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 13:06:54 -0500 (EST)
> From: NCA
> To: beautiful-thing@zzapps.demon.co.uk
> Subject: Re: Introduction
> Reply-to: "Beautiful Thing Email List" <beautiful-thing@zzapps.demon.co.uk>
> Please remove me from your e mail list--now
>
>
you wrote this to the wrong address i think

**************************************************************

From: "Shaun
Subject: Stories
Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 12:33:22 -0500
 
Wow, things certainly have gotten quiet around here.
I just finished a story called "Waiting for the Magic of the Sun." Most of
my short stories are dark even though the outcome is good and all can be
called "Comedies" in the classic sense. This however is certainly a
"Tragedy" but it is the lightest of the stories I have written. It is also
the most optimistic. If anyone's interested it's on my page
Just follow the link to "My Writing Page"
Be warned though, it's a bit long for a short story.
Bye all
Shaun

**************************************************************

Subject: Just to let you know...
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 1997 00:41:50 -0000
 
Hiya people,
Thought I should let you know I'm getting back to something resembling normality after a prolonged period of illness.
I'm down to 8 stone 3 pounds - 115 pounds :-(((
Now I have to rebuild my weight and energy levels, and try to get plenty of rest to ease the tension and tiredness.
As a result, updates to the web site, and responses to feedback may be delayed, as might my response to the volume of personal email I have sitting waiting for me to read still.
Tory, I WILL get round to reading and replying to yours, honestly, I just need some time!!
Davie.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
PGP public key at http://www.proweb.co.uk/~Davie/
Beautiful Thing web http://www.zzapps.demon.co.uk/beautiful-thing/

**************************************************************

Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 20:36:36 -0500 (EST)
From: JW
Subject: Re: Stories
 
At 12:33 PM 2/27/97 -0500, you wrote:
>Wow, things certainly have gotten quiet around here.
>
Shaun,
You're right it has gotten quiet.
Here's my submission to the Beautiful Thing Guestbook for January.
I hope this generates some interesting discussion.
I saw Beautiful Thing three times when it was here for a two week run in
Baltimore. I wish I had seen it every night. Talk about getting hit with a
ton of bricks. It really is a story about falling in love. I can see
myself in either character in different scenes of the movie. Jonathan
Harvey has really captured the true feelings of what it is to be young, gay
and uncontrollably in love. I'm still one of those 16 year old boys at
heart. It is a fantasy though. I wish it were that easy. How many times
have I wanted to raise up as Jamie does and kiss the man I was with? I envy
youth today having the freedom they do. To express openly gay feelings and
not having a complete shroud of doom and condemnation befall them. I have
faced so many forks in the road over the years and I have taken the ones
that have driven me farther into the closet because of that fear. So far
into the closet now that I don't even know which way the door is. Maybe
it's not that I don't know where the door is so much, as it is that I'm
terrified of opening it. Whatever. I guess this really shouldn't be so
much about me as it should be about the movie anyway.
I probably have over analyzed the movie. I cannot wait until the video
comes out though!! Can I last until April or May?? How many times will I
watch it then?
I have do some questions/observations:
When Jamie finishes massaging the Peppermint Foot Lotion on Ste's back, he
asks Ste to turnover to massage some on Ste's chest. Ste emphatically says
no and asks Jamie to turn the lights out, not once but twice. Then Ste
raises up just enough to get the comforter from under him so he can cover
up. Does Ste have an erection and doesn't want Jamie to see it???? Is he
turned on and doesn't understand or know how to handle it? Been there, done
that.
Why does Ste bring Jamie a knit cap after calling him a fucking queer and
deserting him at the party? I mean, I can understand why Ste wants to
"apologize" to Jamie and a gift is a thoughtful means for Ste to express
this apology. But why a knit cap? What am I missing? It's the middle of a
heat wave. Is there some other significance to the knit cap?
That night after Ste brings Jamie that knit cap and they both look at the
"Gay Times," do they sleep together again?? Or is Ste's sleeping over tied
to his beatings at the hands of Ronnie and/or Trevor? Small point really.
Just curious on your thoughts.
I was curious about the origins of the word "pooftah." Jamie yells this at
Tony in a string of words to describe who he is after Jamie has come out to
Sandra. The Oxford English Dictionary Supplement says that it comes from
Australian slang, a fanciful extension of poof, pooff, pouf, or pouve. Also
spelled poofter, poufter and pufter. Ian Fleming uses it in You Only Live
Twice: "You pommy poofter." ..Bond said mildly, "What's a poofter?" "What
you'd call a pansy." My God, how many words we have for this condition!!!!
Bubble and Squeek: the early edition of the Oxford English Dictionary
defines it as "a dish of meat and cabbage fired up together, the name
referring to the sounds made in cooking this dish." However, the Supplement
has a VERY interesting definition!!!! Among other modern preparations of
the dish, Bubble and Squeek is also defined as rhyming slang for beak or
GREEK!!!! A 1968 usage example goes like this: "Why do they call Greek
children 'Bubbles'? said Mr. Colindes to me...Later, it dawned on me that it
was short for 'bubble-and-squeek'; rhyming slang." Check it out!!!
Jonathan Harvey, you sly devil you!! Are you trying to slip something in on
us??? Or is it just coincidence??? Makes you think!!!! Bubble and Squeek
= Greek!!!!
The music really is a key part to the whole: From the title song It's
Getting Better: "..with me an' you, it just started quietly and grew."
"...holding you at night just seems kind of natural an' right." To Make
Your Own Kind of Music for Jamie and Ste's celebration of freedom in the
woods: "...they may try to sell ya, 'cause it hangs them up to see someone
like you." "...it may be rough goin', just to do your thing's the hardest
thing to do." To finally Dream a Little Dream of Me for the slow dance:
"...just hold me tight n' tell me you'll miss me while I'm alone n' blue as
can be." I bought a cassette tape of Mama Cass's music that has these three
songs right in a row. I also have the sound track CD. Great pictures with
the CD! I listen to the music continuously driving on my forty minute
commute back and forth to work. It keeps the feelings fresh and alive. I
wish I had known the words to the songs when I was watching the movie as
well as I do now. It will make it a lot more meaningful experience when I
see it the next time.
One thing that I have a problem with is the apparent "ease" with which
Sandra and Leah end up slow dancing at the end of the movie. I don't know
if their dancing is to imply a "conversion" in sexual preference or not.
Knowing what I have been through and how much Jamie and Ste have agonized
over their decision, I just don't think it's that easy to all of a sudden
"jump on the band wagon" so to speak. What appears to be a spur of the
moment decision on Sandra's part seems to trivialize what I know and what I
am sure Jamie and Ste would know to be a long and involved decision. Jamie
and Ste had to fight both with each other and with their peers for every
feeling they share. What agonizing has Leah or Sandra done? I just don't
think it's fair for Jamie and Ste to have to share the "spotlight" with
Sandra and Leah both of whom have just up and kind of made a spur of the
moment "feel good" decision. Your thoughts??
I could go on and on. Probably too long already. I really appreciate David
Moody and Andi Rossi creating the "Beautiful" website. I know that it must
take up a lot of their time, but I look to the site often for solace with my
"friends." The beauty of the "connected world." Keep up the good work guys.
Thanks especially for compiling the guestbook. It's a "Beautiful Thing" to
know that I am not alone.

**************************************************************

Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 18:09:50 -0800
From: Mike
Subject: Re: Just to let you know...
 
Welcome back Davie M! We've missed you. How's Andi doing?
The list has been kinda quiet. But I have a feeling that's going to change
now. You're back. I'm BEGINNING to recouperate from the loss of my Davie
and will have more to report soon (thanks to all who expressed their
sympothy and condolensces). And the US video release of BT will be
happening soon.
Has anyone thought to ask SONY if they'd publish the web address in the
trailer to the vid?
Mike
David Moody wrote:
>Hiya people,
>
>Thought I should let you know I'm getting back to something resembling
>normality after a prolonged period of illness.
>
>I'm down to 8 stone 3 pounds - 115 pounds :-(((
>
>Now I have to rebuild my weight and energy levels, and try to get plenty
>of rest to ease the tension and tiredness.
>
>As a result, updates to the web site, and responses to feedback may be
>delayed, as might my response to the volume of personal email I have
>sitting waiting for me to read still.
>
>Tory, I WILL get round to reading and replying to yours, honestly, I just
>need some time!!
>
>Davie.
>
>Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

**************************************************************

Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 18:24:11 -0800
From: Mike
Subject: Dream about David (Brown)
 
BT Friends,
 
Since the death of by boy friend, David Brown, several of my friends
have reported feeling his presence near them and a couple have reported
dreams somewhat like the one I share below.
 
This one is from a friend, Linc, who has been on several gay men's
retreats here in California with David and I. These retreats are hosted
by an organisation we belong to: The Discosvery Community Inc.
http://www.the-disc.org/ By the way, I think Linc has seen Beautiful
Thing almost as many times as I have -- but he isn't on this list.
 
 
FWD msg--------------->
 
<paraindent><param>right,left</param>Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 00:48:53
-0800
To: painter
From: Linc
Subject: Dream about David
 
Michael,
 
I had an extraordinarily intense dream this morning that I wanted to
tell you about. It started with various bits and pieces of other
things, but wound up with a Discovery retreat or similar group
gathering around a gigantic fire pit, about 15 feet across, making
various late afternoon preparations for dinner. The setting for the
retreat was unfamiliar to me, and in the dream it was clear that it was
unfamiliar to everyone else as well, so we were playing it by ear with
a lot of the dinner prep. There were a number of picnic tables about,
and we were planning to eat outdoors, and cook on a very small fire in
the fire pit, with the full bonfire activity to come later. The fire
pit was in a small clearing, next to a large farmhouse sort of building
and a barn. The edge of the clearing fairly abruptly settled into
trees, mostly young oak trees, and grass grown up about 4 or 5 feet
tall. As I was standing there, trying to work out what I was supposed
to do for my dinner task, a couple of men from the group came running
out of the brush. They were running not at peak sprint pace, but at a
fast distance-running sort of pace. One of them was clearly focused
very intently on me, running directly towards me; I realized with a
start that it was David, and I remember thinking in the dream, "How can
that be? David's dead." I was holding a tree branch that I had made
into a sort of a walking stick, and David came by on my left and
circled around behind me. I somehow became aware that no one else
could see David, but he got behind me, put his arms on my shouldersand
let me hold his teddy bear, and guided me to the ground. I basically
fell over sideways, like a tree, as if I had shifted all my weight onto
my right foot and then kept leaning until I fell over, but David held
onto me and eased me to the ground very gently, and then held me, and I
just started sobbing uncontrollably, sobbing with grief not only for
David, but for other friends I've lost with similar suddenness, but
David was there holding me, so I felt safe and protected and could let
out my feelings and have that incredible sense of release. It was as
if he was telling me both that it was okay to grieve and to express the
grief and to let other people see me feeling the grief, but also that
somehow everything was going to be all right.
 
The dream was so intense that when I woke up, just at this point in
the
dream, I felt my pillow to see if I had really been sobbing.
 
I'll be there at the memorial on Sunday.
 
[Feel free to forward this to other of David's family and friends, by
the
way.]

**************************************************************

Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 20:36:36 -0500 (EST)
From: JW
Subject: Re: Stories
 
At 12:33 PM 2/27/97 -0500, you wrote:
>Wow, things certainly have gotten quiet around here.
>
Shaun,
You're right it has gotten quiet.
Here's my submission to the Beautiful Thing Guestbook for January.
I hope this generates some interesting discussion.
I saw Beautiful Thing three times when it was here for a two week run in
Baltimore. I wish I had seen it every night. Talk about getting hit with a
ton of bricks. It really is a story about falling in love. I can see
myself in either character in different scenes of the movie. Jonathan
Harvey has really captured the true feelings of what it is to be young, gay
and uncontrollably in love. I'm still one of those 16 year old boys at
heart. It is a fantasy though. I wish it were that easy. How many times
have I wanted to raise up as Jamie does and kiss the man I was with? I envy
youth today having the freedom they do. To express openly gay feelings and
not having a complete shroud of doom and condemnation befall them. I have
faced so many forks in the road over the years and I have taken the ones
that have driven me farther into the closet because of that fear. So far
into the closet now that I don't even know which way the door is. Maybe
it's not that I don't know where the door is so much, as it is that I'm
terrified of opening it. Whatever. I guess this really shouldn't be so
much about me as it should be about the movie anyway.
I probably have over analyzed the movie. I cannot wait until the video
comes out though!! Can I last until April or May?? How many times will I
watch it then?
I have do some questions/observations:
When Jamie finishes massaging the Peppermint Foot Lotion on Ste's back, he
asks Ste to turnover to massage some on Ste's chest. Ste emphatically says
no and asks Jamie to turn the lights out, not once but twice. Then Ste
raises up just enough to get the comforter from under him so he can cover
up. Does Ste have an erection and doesn't want Jamie to see it???? Is he
turned on and doesn't understand or know how to handle it? Been there, done
that.
Why does Ste bring Jamie a knit cap after calling him a fucking queer and
deserting him at the party? I mean, I can understand why Ste wants to
"apologize" to Jamie and a gift is a thoughtful means for Ste to express
this apology. But why a knit cap? What am I missing? It's the middle of a
heat wave. Is there some other significance to the knit cap?
That night after Ste brings Jamie that knit cap and they both look at the
"Gay Times," do they sleep together again?? Or is Ste's sleeping over tied
to his beatings at the hands of Ronnie and/or Trevor? Small point really.
Just curious on your thoughts.
I was curious about the origins of the word "pooftah." Jamie yells this at
Tony in a string of words to describe who he is after Jamie has come out to
Sandra. The Oxford English Dictionary Supplement says that it comes from
Australian slang, a fanciful extension of poof, pooff, pouf, or pouve. Also
spelled poofter, poufter and pufter. Ian Fleming uses it in You Only Live
Twice: "You pommy poofter." ..Bond said mildly, "What's a poofter?" "What
you'd call a pansy." My God, how many words we have for this condition!!!!
Bubble and Squeek: the early edition of the Oxford English Dictionary
defines it as "a dish of meat and cabbage fired up together, the name
referring to the sounds made in cooking this dish." However, the Supplement
has a VERY interesting definition!!!! Among other modern preparations of
the dish, Bubble and Squeek is also defined as rhyming slang for beak or
GREEK!!!! A 1968 usage example goes like this: "Why do they call Greek
children 'Bubbles'? said Mr. Colindes to me...Later, it dawned on me that it
was short for 'bubble-and-squeek'; rhyming slang." Check it out!!!
Jonathan Harvey, you sly devil you!! Are you trying to slip something in on
us??? Or is it just coincidence??? Makes you think!!!! Bubble and Squeek
= Greek!!!!
The music really is a key part to the whole: From the title song It's
Getting Better: "..with me an' you, it just started quietly and grew."
"...holding you at night just seems kind of natural an' right." To Make
Your Own Kind of Music for Jamie and Ste's celebration of freedom in the
woods: "...they may try to sell ya, 'cause it hangs them up to see someone
like you." "...it may be rough goin', just to do your thing's the hardest
thing to do." To finally Dream a Little Dream of Me for the slow dance:
"...just hold me tight n' tell me you'll miss me while I'm alone n' blue as
can be." I bought a cassette tape of Mama Cass's music that has these three
songs right in a row. I also have the sound track CD. Great pictures with
the CD! I listen to the music continuously driving on my forty minute
commute back and forth to work. It keeps the feelings fresh and alive. I
wish I had known the words to the songs when I was watching the movie as
well as I do now. It will make it a lot more meaningful experience when I
see it the next time.
One thing that I have a problem with is the apparent "ease" with which
Sandra and Leah end up slow dancing at the end of the movie. I don't know
if their dancing is to imply a "conversion" in sexual preference or not.
Knowing what I have been through and how much Jamie and Ste have agonized
over their decision, I just don't think it's that easy to all of a sudden
"jump on the band wagon" so to speak. What appears to be a spur of the
moment decision on Sandra's part seems to trivialize what I know and what I
am sure Jamie and Ste would know to be a long and involved decision. Jamie
and Ste had to fight both with each other and with their peers for every
feeling they share. What agonizing has Leah or Sandra done? I just don't
think it's fair for Jamie and Ste to have to share the "spotlight" with
Sandra and Leah both of whom have just up and kind of made a spur of the
moment "feel good" decision. Your thoughts??
I could go on and on. Probably too long already. I really appreciate David
Moody and Andi Rossi creating the "Beautiful" website. I know that it must
take up a lot of their time, but I look to the site often for solace with my
"friends." The beauty of the "connected world." Keep up the good work guys.
Thanks especially for compiling the guestbook. It's a "Beautiful Thing" to

know that I am not alone.

**************************************************************

Last Updated on 03/03/99

This page hosted by GeoCities Get your own Free Home Page

1