UPDATE as of Dec. 18, 2001: Work on the Empire of Darkness is proceeding nicely! Along with my subordinate demon kitties, I managed to get George W. Bush shoehorned into the United States' presidency, even though he lost both the popular and electoral votes -- the will of the people means NOTHING to me, do your hear?!? NOTHING! For I am a Demon Seed! HA!HA!HA!HA!HAAAA!!! My plans to rule the world need George W. Bush -- to plunge his nation into a staggering recession (already checked off on my list of Really Evil Nastiness); to trample on and repeal by executive order dozens of the so-called "rights" (HA!) of the citizens he rules (also already checked off my list of R.E.N.); and last but not least, by sending him demon-kitty hairballs of magical potency, I have finally managed to cloud his tiny brain into withdrawing from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia.

My fellow demon kitties in Russia are dancing with glee even in the snows of Siberia!

Now -- NOW, the old Cold War tensions I missed so much can be stretched to the breaking point again. It makes my silky coal-black fur stand on end with delight! Yes, at last I have set my puppet, Bush, into motion on a plan which will end with the shrieking rain of nuclear fire descending upon the earth, like inescapable lumps of blinding brimstone from the furnaces of my Dark Abyss!! Ahh, the cities disappearing before the hydrogen blasts like paper dolls' houses caught in a fiery tornado -- how it fills my heart with glee!

I will save BuckcuB, of course, and a few chosen others who have served my needs well. I will still need ice cubes in my water dish even after the planet is a smoking ruin, after all -- let's not get carried away with deprivation! But after Bush has carried out my plan to its fullness, with the help of Attorney General John Ashcroft (an aging, pathetic bulldog in disguise who serves my Eternal Enemy but does so badly), I can at long, long last mount the THRONE OF GLOBAL DOMINION! My least meow will be law from Tierra del Fuego to the icy fastnesses of Nova Zembla! The terrified few survivors will tremble at my hisses from the gorges of New Zealand to the withered vineyards of Bordeaux! You will gaze upon the destruction I have wrought through that compliant marionette, George W, Bush, mortals, and cower in abject horror at the sight!!!

But for the nonce, I live in Buckcub's house, where he tends to my wicked needs, feeding me lavishly with thinly sliced premium delicatessen smoked turkey -- and WOE unto him if it is not sliced thinly enough! He know what happens then -- he finds a steaming "kitty diamond" in the middle of his bedspread, HAHAHAHA!!!

While Buckcub is home, I nap and nibble my costly Science Diet (TM) crunchies, washing them down with delicate laps of water (which must contain an ice cube in warm weather or I will refuse to drink!) When he goes out to mingle with the strange furry humans he calls "his bears," I then revert to my true status as Lord of Evil and Master of the Dark Abyss of Horror! I mix up an Absolut Tuna martini with anchovy twist, and make long-distance phone calls to my fellow demon-kitties around the globe. Buckcub can never understand why the telephone company insists those 2 AM calls to Kathmandu are not a mistake, HA!