I belong to the Unitarian Fellowship of London (UFL), a Unitarian Universalist (UU) congregation in London, Ontario.
Because 80% of UU's (and over 90% of the UFL) are not born UU's, we don't have a common religious background on which to draw. Because Unitarian Universalism is a non-credal faith, we do not have a common dogma or belief set. We do have a common set of principles to which we try to adhere.
In 1990, David Herndon, then our minister, began a series of "Odyssey/Credos" where a member of the congregation would take 7-10 minutes (sometimes a lot more) to tell the story of his or her religious journey so far (the Odyssey), and what it had brought them to believe (the Credo).
I told my story in March of 1995, when I was ready to come out to my congregation. I was in multiple closets--being gay, my beliefs, my history. Jane Bramadat is our current minister, and it it to her that I speak at the beginning. I have not edited the text, but not much has changed in my beliefs since then. I hope that you find my story interesting. If not, you might want to:
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Presented March 12, 1995
Today I am giving my Odyssey/Credo. My title is "The Story So Far". This is not the final script, just work-in-process.
Inspired by Jane, I would like to start with a paradox of sorts, on the nature of a shell. On the one hand, when, for example, a lobster grows too large for its shell, it molts, and for a time, without any shell, is extremely vulnerable. But without being vulnerable, it could never grow. On the other hand, when a nautilus grows too large for its shell, it extends it with a chamber much like the last, but larger. The accumulated chambers of the past help keep the nautilus buoyant.
(To Jane:) Feel free to steal that.
I am another of those people who have always been a Unitarian Universalist (or UU) without knowing it. With my four grandparents being Anglican, Presbyterian, United Church and Southern Methodist, I used to call myself "Protestant Confused," especially for the humour value. With this much diversity in my background, I grew up unchurched, only attending as required for Cub Camps. At university, there were four chaplains, but none of them seemed very interested in explaining their particular religion to me, which is probably just as well.
In high school, my two best friends were Peter Calvert and Jim Levogiannis, both formerly members of this Congregation. Throughout university, Jim kept me up-to-date on what was happening at the Fellowship. He actually talked about being a Unitarian. Peter told me about Unicamp, and being a DIT (drudge in training), a Drudge, a Counsellor and about the infamous clothing-optional beach. Jim finally hooked me when he brought me a copy of the UU Principles.
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I came to my first service in late November and saw Camille's "Many Mansions" medallion. After the service, David Herndon, the minister at that time, told me about the concept "There is truth in all faiths, but none has all of the truth." Finally, I had found a place which respected the rational as well as the spiritual.
I joined the congregation in January and was welcomed on March 5, 1989. It felt like home. Shortly thereafter, Del Sexsmith, then President, approached me to find out if I were ready to become more involved. There was a position on the Board that "didn't require too much work, Recording Secretary and this was fine . . . until we decided to renovate the By-laws to accommodate the Board/Council Model and facilitate future amendments. "This was a job for the Recording Secretary!" I thought and took on this job wholeheartedly, for I firmly believe in the sharing of both privileges and responsibilities.
Subsequently, I have held positions on the Denominational Affairs Committee, the Nominating Committee and as Worship Chair, Communications Section Head, Second Vice-President and (after a complete break at the time of my illness last January) as Membership Chair and pamphlet person.
However, the most important event in my life so far, religious or otherwise, has been my attendance at EAGLES, the Eastern Great Lakes Leadership School, in the summer on '89. For the first time in my life, I was valued for myself. You see, I grew up as the overweight, bespectacled, smart kid who didn't know you weren't supposed to answer every question. It didn't help that we moved eight times in the first four years of school.
At EAGLES, I experienced the Adult Learner Model, which assumes that we are all rational, intelligent, capable individuals, some of whom have knowledge in areas that others do not. This was particularly empowering to me. It was also here that my love of thematic worship services began; and this is still my first love.
I have found some help here, too, in our "Do it yourself" religion. Firstly, from the course in "Re-evaluative Counselling" given by Anne Wilcox. It was this that convinced me that I am not a Buddhist. For there I found that suffering was not necessarily inevitable; that it could be alleviated by caring and concerned individuals working together on the problems of one of them giving perspective, not answers. For me, I have found that working through the pain and fear, rather than accepting it, is the only way to growth. [See 1 below]
Also, the two courses, "Building Your Own Theology" and "Infinity In Your Hand" have been instrumental in helping me to understand and articulate my credo.
There are three other sources of wisdom I have found and hold dear. One is the set of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"; from the book of the same name. These are: [See 2 below]
1) Be Proactive
2) Begin with the End in Mind
3) Put First Things First
4) Think Win-Win
5) Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
6) Synergize
7) Sharpen the Saw
These form the basis of my own covenant statement, to which I aspire in my relations with others.
Secondly, there is Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Winter's Evening." This reminds me of the sense of wonder and reflection that I find so important, but find so hard to get to.
Thirdly, there is the Poem from Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass" which goes:
'Twas brillig and the slithey toves
Did gyre and gimbol in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Quite often, theology seems like this poem to me, with the words sounding like they should make sense but with the meaning just beyond my grasp. And even if someone explains what the words mean to them, it still doesn't mean what I heard.
Both my Mother's Aunt and my Grandfather visited me in Spirit on the night of their departure from this world. My maternal great- grandmother was the local Witch/Midwife in Scotland. My Grandmother was fey, always knowing when one of her children was hurt. On my paternal side, my grandfather was a very successful dowser. Such began my belief in the continuance of life after death, and the existence of things unexplainable.
Spiritually, I consider myself to be a New Age, Neophyte Neo-Pagan, with emphasis on the belief in a past life and the existence of angels. I am associated with the Network for the Advancement of Spiritual Awakening and I am a sometime channeller. I have been attending the local Spiritualist Church on occasion to meet these needs.
Growing up unchurched, I did not know much about Christianity. So in Good UU fashion, I had to find out myself. For a little over a year, I attended the Holy Fellowship Metropolitan Community Church. Theologically, this is a fairly conservative Christian Church "for all people, with a special ministry for Gays, Lesbians and Bi-Sexuals." And although I still keep social contacts up and attend occasionally, I have found that I am not a Christian. But the experience has been educational and eye-opening and certainly it has been good to have somewhere that I feel I can be more of myself to be among those like myself. It in many ways parallels walking into a UU congregation. I feel more at home.
The MCC has been especially important to me as I have dealt with living with my parents and their illnesses. My father's general intolerance and fairly extreme homophobia have been deciding factors in my decision not to come out to them, and this decision continues to restrict me. I still experience a great deal of loneliness and feel cut off from people much of the time.
It is especially hard not to be able to return any hospitality given to me, by inviting friends over to dinner or cards or video watching. I truly think that this social need, more so than my belief in participation, is what makes it difficult for me to say "no" to anyone asking for my help. This is why I am going to be "asterisked" very soon now. For those of you who do not know, this means that an asterisk will be placed by name in the directory, and the "powers that be" will not ask me to plan, attend, chair or sit on anything for a year.
The only project that I will be involved in is the upcoming "Welcoming Congregation" program. This corresponds with my needs at this time to develop the part of my life I have so long cut off. As is evidenced by my being able to give this talk, after six years here, I have developed my scattered theology into a fairly constant credo, and will be simmering this for a time while other issues burn, boil and bake. So here is my Credo, as accountants say "As at March 12, 1995." 13 items, consisting of 4 Trinities, plus one:
So, I'm looking for a Religious Home where I can integrate being gay, New Age, and a mystic with my beliefs in Angels, past lives, Jungian archetypes, spiritualism and the power of humour. Using several churches like a food court, taking some nourishment from each, has not been satisfying. Instead, I think I must find a "Reuben & Wong's," a single restaurant where I can enjoy the special combination of cultures that is me. And I can help make such a place, I believe, in this Unitarian Universalist Congregation.
Thank you for reading my Odyssey/Credo
1 This is one place where I
have modified my beliefs. I obviously did not have a good handle on
the Buddhist faith at the time. I've been learning. I would like to
recant my arrogant statement above and apologize to anyone it may
have offended.
Return to Reference 1 above.
2 Covey, Stephen R. -
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. - ©
1989. - Fireside/Simon & Schuster.
ISBN:0-671-70863-5
Return to Reference 2 above.
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