|
.
|
|
... & Things Gay
|
|
|
My first sexual experience was with a girl
called Shirley: I was 10, she was 12. I knew I was gay
before I knew what the word was to describe what I was....
way before anyone ever spoke about The Personal Being The
Political, I knew it instinctively.
|
|
....
|
Like a lot of people my age, I cut my
political teeth on CHE (Campaign for Homaosexual
Equality)committees, and the beliefs and convictions I held
then haven't changed much, whatever the colour of the party
I vote for might be: it isn't enough to be out in your own
life - it's necessary to be willing to stand up for the
rights of others in the community.... My closest friend then
was Peter Wells, who had two years taken out of his life by
our legal system simply for sleeping with a boyfriend aged a
few months short of 21. He later had the rest of his life
taken away by the brother of another boyfriend: he died two
days after my mother died of cancer, and shortly before his
case was due to be heard in Strasburg. I'm writing this on
the 19th anniversary of his death in February '79, and we
still haven't achieved equality in the age of consent...and
we've had the idiocy of Spanner. His name lives on in one of
the early live recordings of
Tom Robinson's
"Glad to Be Gay".
Peter Wells was one of the kindest, generous and most
supportive people I have ever met. He taught me much,
(including a lot about the crossover between pleasure and
pain!), gave me the space to explore much of my own
sexuality without worrying about where on the continuum I
had to pick a label from, and also encouraged me to write:
being openly bisexual in the 70s was far less common than
nowadays... writing about being married and gay in Gay News,
which I did with his encouragement, almost unheard of.
I remember him today with love and respect.
|
|
|
More recently : I was part of a triumverate
that made up the joint queer co-ordinators of Newnham
College's LesBiGay group,
NewBiLes,
for two years : part of our hidden agenda was to make sure
that of all the Cambridge University colleges, Newnham
College was going to have the reunions of its alumnae be
well & truly, errrrm, " Interesting" in the 21st
century...
|
|
|
|
Well, this group, together with friends who
didn't run quick enough, suffered long and hard with me
through my final year in the interest of my dissertation.
They watched films with minimal lesbian content, drunk bad
wine, and offered support and their best books with no hope
of reward... Their views on literary and classical
references in The Hunger would be recorded here if
only I had the time... One became my girlfriend for a while,
and remains the woman I feel intellectually closest to, and
whom I love dearly, even tho we're both married to
guys now...
Of course, NewBiLes has moved on: from its humble
beginnings, where gathering 13 of Newbs & friends
together for veggie lasagne and a trip to Go Fish was the
high spot of the term, it now runs the largest mailist
for gay women in Cambridge, across the university and
Town. Today Cambridge.. tomorrow, who knows??
|
|
|
Nowadays my enthusiasm for gay politics is
being sublimated in acting as Wise Woman & Elderly Crone
[or aggravating bitch, depending on your viewpoint] of one
of Digital Diversity's lists. I'm actually proud to be a
member of
UK-MOTSS
the most supportive arena for online discussion in the UK in
my not-so-humble opinion... wielding the Broomstick as one
fifth of the team of List Administrators, I can even sigh
with relief when my tour of duty's complete.The heated
discussions are a particular speciality, but some of the
loveliest gay people you could hope to meet anywhere are
scattered throughout the membership.
|
|
|
Being an e-group that does get to meet up in real life,
they add a certain amount colour to my present life...
only in a group such as this would a dedicated
conservative voter following the general election throw
open his whole house from cellar to attic to hold a Red
Party... only within this group is it possible to get a
truly straight answer should you ask for advice on
your latest relationship.... and only a member of this
group would walk into the Town & Gown clutching a
pile of CD-Roms for my eight year old godson on the
off-chance that I'd be there that evening...
|
|
|
Sexuality? This might be obvious if you've
read this far, but for those of you coming on this page
either from my signature file on an email, or a websearch,
it may have been a shock, so p'raps it's pertinent to
explain that as this site's situated in the West Hollywood
section of Geocities, I definitely identify myself as gay:
Queer & Proud Of It....
|
|
|
|
When pressed, usually by someone who can't see how I can
equate that with who my partner is, I might expand that
my particular sexuality's on the gay side of bi, but that
I am [and hope, Reader, that you are, too] tolerant of
the whole gay continuum... and I'm particularly
unsympathetic to any form of separatism. And, yes, my
partner is well aware of my sexuality, and always
has been: we met on a train, and I was reading Gay News
at the time... Funny thing is, in the past five years, I
can only remember two people actually seriously
questioning that I define myself as gay - only one
stroppy separatist and one miserable heterosexual bitch
in five years *must* be a positive sign that the world's
getting better? Definitely!
|
|
|
I have friends online of all genders: I believe that as
far as gender is concerned, you are the gender you choose
to be. In particular, when a person has gone through
whatever it takes to aligned their outer body with the
gender they know themselves to be, it is cruel and
inhumane that institutionalised intolerance refuses to
allow them legal recognition in the gender of their
choice. Ideally, passports and all 'official' documents
would be gender-free... or if that's asking too much of
even New Labour, at least allow for official changes in
gender, to try and compensate for the intolerance.
After all,intolerance killed my best friend nineteen
years ago today...
A postscript...
|
.
|
This month's interesting gay
link...
Lesion
Nation
Gay
& Lesbian Family Values Stories of
Support
Previous links
- http://www.bothways.com
- Tom Robinson's new site - an
excellent read!
http://www.tomrobinson.com/
[ Despite the Independent's
inaccurate reporting - he's still Queer !]
|
  
|