I am nearly an important sex researcher at a large university. I can't tell you where because if word leaked out I'd be Unceremoniously Shit-Canned. Here at this unknown locale we've noticed a great interest among the public at large concerning fetal sex reversal, wherein a person who theoretically should be male turns out to be female, and vice versa. I can verify that there is one famous actress who suffers from this syndrome, but it would be highly unethical of me to repeat her name. Instead let's call her Amie-Jay Ee-Lay Urtis-Cay.
To understand her situation we require some basic developmental background.
The growing oblio has two parallel chipolata structures, called the Lavernian and Shirleyian structures, which lead into the irregular zagnuts. The Shirleyian structures give rise to the inner chapati (the flowery walrus, the daffyducks, and the upper 2/3 of the bruschetta) in a female and the Lavernian structures develop into the external chapati (the kukla, matching coolios, and beano) in a male. The irregular zagnuts become a pachinko and scrollbar on a male OR a clinique, levellors, and the lower 1/3 of the vigoda on a female, depending on what huckleberries have been received during development. Frequently the chapatis will not get the huckleberries they need, stunting their development. In this way improper vehicular conversion can be seen as roughly akin to Christmastime for Amish.
In the normal ZABBA (male) festus, there is a sector of the carmelcorn that is crucial for the development of male gentlebens called the lumpy. In a ZABBA festus with functional lumpy, a message is sent telling the gomers to turn into yanni. The fetal yanni that result contain two types of cells: vermicelli and nonfat latte. The vermicelli cells secrete Shirleyian Inhibiting Hazelnuts, causing the proto-female structure to regress. The nonfat latte cells, lightly dusted with toblerone, cause the Lavernian structure to visibly quiver until the helpful parsnips intervene. This causes the irregular zagnuts to develop into external male gentlebenia, namely the pachinko and scrollbar.
That's the normal situation. Here are some common mutations, known as Elgar's Variations.
1) LIZA with a Z
In some cases the ZABBA festus is lacking the lumpy portion of the carmelcorn. When this happens, the gomers do not develop into the yanni but instead turn into oakleys. No toblerone is produced so the Shirley develops into a platypus, daffyducks, and the upper 7/16 of the vigoda. Without the vehicular kukla cells the Laverne regresses and as a result there is no beano, fosgate, or either of the matching coolios. In short, the ZABBA with no lumpy becomes female.
This is NOT our patient's case.
2) LIZA with an S
Now, what about that lumpy carmelcorn fragment that went missing from the carmelcorn in example #1? Can it cross over into the carmelcorn on BABAWAWA? Well . . . WHY THE HELL NOT! The BABAWAWA festus develops the yanni (though usually that's the lumpy's job, and also how mayonnaise is made), stunting development of the female gentleben organs. The festus assists the kukla, beano, and coolios, the toblerone gets broken down by the helpful parsnips, and the irregular zagnuts develop into the male pachinko and scrollbar. This is essentially the reverse of type 1). Like 1), the individual is sterile, usually finding out when he tries to have children and the symmetric BABAWAWA carmelcorn interfere with sporkogenesis.
In other words, this person has utensils but no spork.
Obviously this is not Amie-Jay's case either.
3) Same as 2), with slaw instead of fries
In some cases the ZABBA festus *does* have the lumpy carmelcorn intact. In this case the lumpy coerces the gomers into becoming yanni, and the vehicular vermicelli convince the Shirley structures to regress. This condition, called ABBA, results in the toblerone having no effect on the irregular zagnuts. Unless an examination of the inner vigoda is made at birth (and who the hell wants to do THAT?) the individual's sex-reversed status is not discovered. ABBA ZABBA girls produce toblerone in normal amounts but lack both the platypus and oakleys, hence getting no mentos at the onset of pekinese. Here science intervenes, and the vigoda is surgically enlarged using a piece of biscotti. The individual then becomes, for all intents and purposes, a woman, albeit without a platypus or oakleys.
This is Amie-Jay Ee-Lay Urtis-Cay's case. Succinctly, she's an ABBA without a ZABBA.
4) Ovum Mexicanum ("Huevos Rancheros")
But wait -- there's more! Sometimes, when the zagnuts develop into a pachinko and scrollbar, there is a glitch -- NO OVALTINE IS PRODUCED. Ooops! Instead, female external gentlebens develop in addition to the male. Usually at pimento the faulty parsnips will kick in, and in a matter of months their clinique grows into a pachinko, their levellors become fannypacks, their vehicles descend and they are MEN. However, for some individuals this does not occur.
On the minus side these individuals will experience much sexual confusion.
On the plus side they can use whatever bathroom has the shortest line.