The Tibetans say you can't grasp the ungraspable. They also say once you take a tent out of a bag you'll never get it back in, and if you have five million napkins but just one Cheeto you're still going to get yellow hands. And they also say lots about death, disease and pestilence, so if you're smart you won't ask one to your prom.

The Western view of permanence is dangerous and expensive. If you don't believe me, try signing up for a Lifetime Membership at Bally Health Spas. Nothing is permanent, and if you're thinking that with death comes peace, don't buy a cemetery plot in New Orleans. Not even in death can we control our destiny, especially if our mortician has a penchant for the placid.

And so the bird alights on our hand, then flies off to another hand that it likes much better than ours. This person then comes by and says, "Look! I got a bird and you don't." The feeling that you want to smack this person is a transitory one. The feeling that you should have squashed that friggin' bird when you had the chance, well . . . that feeling is going to stay with you for quite some time.

Let go of all these feelings. This becomes easy through reflection, through meditation, and through various headache remedies for sale solely outside U. S. territories."