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Where I'm Coming From

Spirituality is many things to many people, and has been throughout the ages. For some, it may be going to church on the Sabbath and reading the Bible, for others is may be praying on bended knee several times a day while facing Mecca. All, in my eyes, are equally valid. The key is twofold in my eyes - first learning what it means to you personally, and second learning to accept that what you perceive is not the same for everyone.

I've belonged to many organized religions in my life. My family has many Southern roots (Southeast Louisiana bayou country), and my first experiences in church were with Southern Baptists. Along the way I have been involved with Southern Methodists, Episcopals, Catholics, Mormans, Jehovah's Witnesses, Pentacostals and a few other odd sects. I've also studied several other groups, including Islam, Judaism and Buddhism. All of them had many good things about them, but they all had one thing in common - the organized practitioners of these groups never practiced what they preached. I mean, how do you preach about a loving God, then tell people you are going to Hell for wanting to love another person? It just didn't make sense.

Eventually, along about the age of 14 or 15, I finally decided that I was agnostic - I knew there was a higher force of some type out there, but I chose to forgo any outward forms of religion.

Wicca and Paganism

About 5 or 6 years ago a friend introduced me to a book by Raymond Buckland titled "A Guide to Practical Witchcraft", or something like that. Boy were my eyes opened! Here was a group of people I could relate to. "An ye harm none, do what thou wilt" was the story of my life. Living in harmony with nature, learning to live with, and make use of, the powers of the Earth around us. It sounded too good to be true. I forged ahead though, and performed the self initiation described in the book and started studying everything I could find on paganism and witchcraft.

I've always been an avid reader (check out my books page), especially science fiction and fantasy. One of my favorite books of all time was, and is, Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. Imagine my surprise when I found out that there was a real Church of All Worlds! Happy Happy Joy Joy!! as Ren and Stimpy would say. Unfortunately, although their ideals were pure, the real world quickly snuck its way into CAW and the Pagan/Neo-Pagan movement and politics got the best of them. To me, that was the worst thing that could have happened. Here was a group of people dedicated to living in harmony, and they were constantly fighting over who was right, who had the best way to do things and who is going to be in charge! Ridiculous!

It's about that time (early 1992) that a friend introduced me to a Bulletin Board called Modem Magick in my local (San Diego) area. I logged onto Modem Magick instantly (even then I was a total on-line freak) and have never left it since then. The wonderful folks there introduced me to the wonderful world of Thelema and the O.T.O., and my life has never been the same.

Thelema and the O.T.O.

For those of you that don't know, Thelema is the Greek word for Will. It is also the word used to describe the philosphy/religion/way of life of those who believe that the New Aeon began when Aiwass delivered The Book of the Law to Aleister Crowley. There are many Thelemic groups around, however, I belong to the Ordo Templi Orientis, or O.T.O. for short.

In case you were wondering, Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law is the traditional greeting of Thelemites, a quote from The Book of the Law (Liber AL vel Legis), as is Love is the law, love under will, the traditional farewell. By applying the study of Gematria (similar to numerology), Thelema (will) equals 93, as does Agape (love). So that answers the question of "What does it mean when you keep saying 93?" It is a greeting and/or farewell, and much shorter than saying the whole thing.

Thelema is many things to many people - what else would you expect from a group of people who believe "there is no law beyond do what thou wilt"? For me, I believe that it means living your life with respect for others, taking responsibility for yourself. A good way to explain this, without having to repeat what's been said a million times before, is to read Liber Oz, otherwise known as The Rights of Man.

For another example of our Holy Books, check out Liber Tzaddi. It's one of my favorites.

I'll be adding more to this, always, at a later date, especially on how I feel that Thelema is especially suited to a gay/lesbian philosophy. Thanks for reading, and check back again soon for more. (Update 9/1/97: It's in the works now! I should have it up before too much longer, I promise!)