Why I'm Here

I am closet gay or bisexual and curious.
I am looking for gay friends to correspond and help me with this.

I am married with children and enjoy heterosexual activities. However, I have had fantasies of homosexual activity (sex with another man) since my teens.

I have never had an actual physical homosexual relationship, but I would like to have at least one such relationship to know whether it is just some sort of fantasy or whether I am truely gay.