Don't ask !


As you know I spend a lot of time on IRC, on my lesbian-girl only channel. And many men come on my channel, too many... and many of them always ask the same "stupid" questions... too many times... so most of the time I try patiently to answer but sometimes I get angry... because some of those questions are really too stupid... so... Here are some answers to some questions some straight people ask (why do I say people ? "straight men" !) and I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER ANYMORE !!!!!!!
A kind of "Lesbians F.A.Q." All right ?

Why am I lesbian ?
I-DON-T-KNOW ! If I knew I would probably get a Nobel prize ! I don't know and it's not because I'm not aware, it's because nobody knows. Nobody knows why some of us are straight and some of us not. We only know that it's determined kinda early in our childhood... And, pesonally, I don't give a damn : I'm a lesbian, that's the way it is and I'm kinda glad to be a lesbian. Here you probably wonder "why does she find this question stupid ? She's probably the angry lesbian type.." NO ! It's just that I'm fed up to see so many straight people wondering why I am lesbian and not wondering why THEY are straight...

Why did I choose to be a lesbian ?
Probably the most stupid because people could easily answer it if they THOUGHT for a minute. Frankly, do you think you would choose to be so different that about 70% of the Univers hate you ? Would you choose to be rejected by your religion, your friends and your family ? (Don't laugh, it happens !) Would you choose a life that gives you two alternatives : fight or hide, all your life ? Na, you wouldn't and I wouldn't blame you. Well, it's the same for me. I love women, I'm glad to love them and to be loved by them, but I didn't choose to be a lesbian, I simply choose to live with it and to be as happy I can be !

Why I never slept with a man and why I don't intend to ?
Hmmm... sorry I made a mistake, this is probably the most stupid ! Why ? Well, because this question leads me to wonder if most of the straight people I talk to are not straight just because they were told to be straight...
Just think about it a minute... When I was a child, I was also told that little girls fell in love with little boys and little boys with little girls... But when I was a teen, I discovered that :
1- I was NOT attracted by boys
2- My girl friends were much more attractive !!!
So (may be I'm naive) I imagined that it was the same for straight people... You know you're straight because one day someone from the opposite gender turns you on, and not only one, but many of them....
Well it doesn't seem to be that way since, when I say I'm lesbian, the next question is "Have you ever tried with a man ?" "No" "So you don't know if you wouldn't like it !!" Yes I do, probably the same way you know you're straight : I am not attracted by men and so don't have to "try" them to know I wouldn't like it...
And I don't intend to get laid just to answer "Yes I tried" to this question !!!!!

What can two women do in a bed ? Do you do "special things" to each other ?
Those two questions are usually asked while drooling, by men whose wildest fantasy is "sleeping with lesbians" (And they say it loud !)... I would find it funny if it wasn't so pathetic... So I will begin my answer with a little speech.
Guys, I'd like you to use your brain about sex just one minute (C'mon, you can do it !) What is a lesbian ? A lesbian is a woman who is attracted emotinally and physically by women. NOT BY MEN. So stop having fantasies about two lesbians inviting you in their bed, or letting you watch all those "special things" they do, or (I heard that so many time) doing a better blow job than straight women because they lick better : it is not going to happen because lesbian don't sleep with men (yes I know it happens, it doesn't make them "bad lesbians" or bisexuals, I don't care, it's a matter of individuals and I talk about general facts !) and I really find it a lack of respect to think about us, and women in general, as sexual tools ! I AM NOT ANYBODY'S SEXUAL TOOL (except for my girl friend when she's been a good girl... uh... sorry... no private life here, ok) and I don't want to be a part of a male's fantasies !
And now... what about two women in the same bed... What bugs me with this question, is... well I think of the girl friends of those boys and... I feel sorry. Because those guys they seem to believe that there is nothing in sex except penetration... And... it must be boring... And it's also boring for me because if they knew that in straight love there is something else than penetration well... I wouldn't have to answer to that stupid question :
What can two women do in a bed ?
Love.

Why don't I look "feminine" ?
Only men ask this question. Why ? Because women they see that I am a woman, a different kind of woman, but a woman. Because that's the real meaning of this question "Why don't you have long hairs, wear make up, dress like a woman and act like a woman, like all woman should ?"
Well the problem is that men, during the past centuries, built the image of women like they like women to be, like they are attracted by women... When someone talks about the image of the woman, he usually talks about the image of the woman "as she should be to attract sexually (brain is not mentionned here) men", not really the image of the woman, as she is, an individual with a brain.
And that's the problem : I definitely don't look like a woman who wants to attract men. I am a woman and I have a brain. I am an individual so I look just like I want. And I am a lesbian so I don't look like someone who wants to attract straight men, but like someone who wants to attract lesbian women. It's a simple as that !
I don't mean to say that "feminine" women are stupid bimbos who only want to attract men !!!! I trust my sisters enough to think that when they have long hair or wear skirts it's for their own pleasure. I don't mean to say that all lesbian should look like me or do look like me !!! What I mean to say is that we mustn't think that being feminine and look like a male fantasy are the same thing. Anybody should look just like he/she wants and not being judged for that.
(That also means : stop saying I'm lesbian because no man would like to have sex with me ! Like a lot of my sisters, I had men who came and told me they were in love -and that was embarassing because I was not- and it is not because I look boyish and can't have men that I sleep with women : it's because I look boyish even in a dress, and because I love women so I don't want men running after me !)

Why is my channel a girl only channel ?
Aaaaaaah ! This one ! I must have answered it a thousand times... Well the first answer that comes to my mind is usually "It's a lesbian channel ! What do you want lesbians to do with men ???" But it's not a good answer since lesbians and men do have things in common and can be friends (yep ! I don't know you, but I've got some male friends, and I really love them !)... The right answer is more political and may be more difficult to understand for straight people.
Homosexual people in general and lesbians in particular are oppressed, it's no news for anybody (well I hope it isn't for you... if it is just open your eyes...) We, lesbians, live the whole day in a patriarcal society, a society made by men, for men, and women who love men. A society that doesn't reckognize our difference, our own culture (just like in the past, our white society didn't reckognize black people and black culture) So there are moments where we NEED to be between us, among our sisters women, lesbians, in a place where our own culture is reckognized. And I'm sorry but very few men has something to do with lesbian culture, and those few perfectly understand that we need to be in women only places...
So creating women only places in a patriarcal society is natural, it's a need and it's a right. I perfectly understand that men meet in what are, in the facts, men only places (for example men only gay bars, all the sport stuff...) and I respect those places... I'd like men to respect the women only places as well.
(and it is NOT segregation since there are enough places where men and women can meet !)

Why do lesbians hate men ?
Lesbians DON'T hate men ! (Well a few of them do but, hey ! You have racist people everywhere, some lesbians are racist too... I hate racist people) Lesbians hate MACHOS and HOMOPHOBIC people because they oppress them, but they don't hate men. The problems come when (some) men (for example) don't want to reckognize that they actually are machos. When they think that because they are men they can come and go in our lesbian places without asking... or when they refuse to reckognize that women and lesbians are oppressed because "It can't be true, you see : I am not macho, I don't oppress you". Yep but in maths, and I know what I'm talking about, if A => B (machos => oppression against women) you don't have non A => non B (I'm not macho => there is no oppression)... or when they keep on teasing a lesbian even when they know she's a lesbian... saying they respect us... or when they keep on saying that a woman can't live with a man... Lesbians surely don't hate men, as long as men respect them as they are. I.e. as women who don't need men except as friends, who are free and strong individuals, and whose history has lead them to hate being stepped on... That's all.
I'd like you to read this excellent article called Do feminists hate men ? which is really... clear !

Lesbians are lesbian because they are too ugly to attract men.
Man, you haven't seen my Girl Friend !!! This sentence is probably the worst piece of shit I've ever heard. I won't even waste my time to say that among lesbians there are ugly and beautiful girls just like everywhere else but I'm going to come back on the problems straight men (C'mon ! Have you ever heard a woman or a gay men saying that ??? I haven't !) have with their fantasies and their egos ...
What I'm going to say is only the fruit of experience on IRC... but I think it's close to the truth...
What I learned talking with (macho and homophobic) men is that they have a "strong" idea of what a woman should look like... should look like to fit THEIR sexual fantasies of course (sometimes they mention the women's brain, it's useful to wash the dishes)... and if you don't fit this stereotype (let's see : tall, slim, big breasts, long hair, with a skirt or a dress, make-up, and no will of her own... oh ! I was about to forgot the heels and sexy underwears !) :
1- You are ugly.
2- You are not a woman.
So for them many women, including lesbians, are ugly and not "feminine" enough... not enough to wake up their dick and have the great honour to get laid...
That's the "fantasy reason" why some dummies dare to say that we are lesbians because we're too ugly too attract men
The "ego reason" is more pathetic....
You know when a kid has a toy, and another kid wants it, and the first kid doesn't want to lend it. Well usually the second kids sneers and says "Keep you're toy : it's ugly and I don't want it !"... The same old story : despise what you can't get... Well it's the same for lesbians... When some men realize that THEY CAN'T FUCK WITH US, wether we please them or not, because we don't sleep with men, they'd rather shout everywhere that we're so ugly they don't want us than admitting that "they would like to but we don't"...
Sometimes the second kid wil just punch the first kid's nose, take the toy and walk away. Here it's called rape but that's another subject....

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