I think that sexual preference, that is whether I prefer to sleep with males or females or both or either or neither, is all a bit misleading. I came across a reference where someone said their sexual preference was "human sexual" and I do tend to want to call myself that, but in recent days I have come to a most profound conclusion that will rock the sexual preference agenda.

I don't think a thing such as sexual preference exists. I do think that GENDER preference exists. But, be fore I go further, let me clarify a few things. We mus define what sex and gender are.

Sex is the physical body as determined by science, observations, data. There are two common sexes, male and female, with chromosomal patterns XY and XX respectively. There are also some not-so-common sexes, some of which have no names at this point, XXY chromosomal patterns, intersexed persons (those with a penis and a vagina), and others that I am not really concerned with identifying since that is not the topic here. I do not consider reproductive abilities as sex determinant. They are something that naturally varies throughout the course of one's life, and if they were sex determinant, then sex would change for most females. Sex does not change. You are what you are when you are born. The usefulness of sex determination can be disputed at some other time, but for now, that's all that sex is: a simple fact.

Gender is the inner self(ves) as expressed through the physical self. Man gender and woman gender are inadequate in describing the true possibilities of nature, in fact man and woman are nothing more that extensions of sex into a world where they do not belong. So, for the time being, we will discard man and woman as genders. Gender is that with which we associate, that to which we belong, that which we would choose to be like. Gender is a way of acting, a way of behaving, a way of living, the clothes you wear, the way you look, the people you associate with, the way you feel. Someone cannot tell you what gender you are. You determine your own gender and others must accept the truth of your convictions. Gender is not something you are born with and stuck with for your entire life. You can change it from day to day, or every five years, or every ten years, or never. It doesn't really matter. Belonging to a group of people is simply that. A choice. A team. A family. This whole thing of defining differences is like trying to find the dividing line between the "Smiths" and the "Jones'" We will never find it. Especially when Betsy Smith marries Davy Jones and they have Baby Jane. Is Baby Jane a Smith or a Jones? Is Baby Jane a black or a white? Is Baby Jane a boy or a girl? Is Baby Jane gay or straight? It's all the same question. And there is never an answer beyond what Baby Jane tells us. Only Baby Jane knows the truth. Tell us, Baby Jane, what is your gender?

Let's generalize for a minute. Looking at the current population, males are predominantly aggressive, rough, afraid of prolonged physical contact, suppressive of their emotions, not particularly caring or affectionate, use body mass as power. (Now, I know all males aren't this way, but I'm just illustrating a point. Ride with me for a while.) Females are predominantly, non-aggressive, soft, seeking of prolonged physical contact, expressive of their emotions, caring, affectionate, use body mass for utilitarian purposes. Now it may sound like I have just illustrated how opposite males and females are, but we all know that both males and females are equally CAPABLE of any of the above characteristics, and that our culture decides which ones we should express due to our sex. I will argue that point later. For now, I want to illustrate how I could deduce from my attraction to the predominantly female characteristics, that I am attracted to females and not males, therefore I am heterosexual (speaking from my birth-male status). But this is false and misleading, because I am actually attracted to, not the sex, but to the characteristics, which are actually definitions of Gender. I am attracted to people who display certain gender characteristics. I may be attracted to a female because of her non-threatening non-aggressive behavior, or because she is comfortable with prolonged physical contact; because of her caring affectionate nature, or because she has a very muscular body, but does so because she is a runner, not because she must be "bigger" that all the other girls. She belongs to a certain gender, and the gender is what feeds my attraction, not her sex. Other than some outward physical characteristics, if she were male expressing the exact same gender, I would be equally attracted to him. The body could be exactly the same, just cut off the breasts and add on a penis, and just because of that I could not be intimate with him? In my example, the lips are the same, the body has the same smoothness, the eyes are the same, the brain is the same. So, I accept that I am attracted to this gender, and what ever sex, it doesn't really matter. This is what drives so many males nuts when the find out the "woman" they've been eyeing all night turns out to be a male in a dress. They haven't accepted that they are attracted to the gender, not the sex. If they were attracted to the sex, they would never have fallen for the male in a dress. The world has further confused the general populace by saying that females may wear dresses and males may not, but that is yet another side issue. Unfortunately, because of our bi-polar genderization, we have created a world where males are to emulate one thing and females are to emulate a supposedly opposite. That is where we have our problem.

According to my above example, because I am attracted to gender characteristica that are culturally established to be those of females, I must be attracted to females. But, I am not. I am attracted to the gender characteristics. We need to throw away the entire establishment on gender. Get rid of man and woman: leave those titles in the sex category. Get rid of masculine and feminine: still too easy to equate with male and female. Let's just talk about some basic gender characteristics. I have begun a thorough analysis of gender portrayal, and am always observing to see how people portray gender. I have created some categories from thes observations. I hate categories, but if I am to get rid of the bi-polar gendered world, I must have some alternatives. Non-bi-polar should indicate multi-polar, (still thinking in terms of bi-polarity here! Still working those opposites! Can't get out of that mode!) The ideal process would be from bi-polar genders (current system) to multi-polar (let a few generations pass with this system) and finally on to non-polar, or gender fluidity. Maybe our grandchildren can have a little of what is so difficult for us to have peacefully. We don't want to fool men. We don't want to arouse people's anger. We just want to live our lives the way we feel best suits us. Is that a crime? Does that deserve abuse, harrassment, exclusion, rape, violence, murder? Absolutely not.

If we can separate sex and gender once and for all, and accept that we have Gender preferences, not Sexual ones, then we might be able to get on with our lives.