31st October


3:00 am Thursday 31st October 1998

Well, here I am again… Pissed and writing at my diary because I'm the only person without someone to warm my bed. Anyway, what's happened? Danie and Andrew turned up at dinner, and because they were there we decided after some chats and coffee to go out for a few drinks. Very unfortunately Jules was refused entry to P.J. O'Riley's and went home (pretty angry I imagine).We were at P.J.'s from about 10:00pm to 2:00am, and we were all fairly off the wagon. Susan went home with Andrew around 12:30 I think, so I think they had a good chat. I don't know what it was, but everybody seemed like they were carrying some great weight or burden which they were desperately trying to shed, but couldn't bring themselves to be the first to drop their guard and talk about it…
Not that people weren't having a good time, but just at certain times during the night, the carefully guarded masks which everybody carries slipped a little and I thought for a moment that I could see something of what was going on underneath. Paul was particularly pissed, but I can't blame him, because he's finally going to get the job he's worked so long and hard for. At the end there was Andrew, Bridget, Heather, Danie, Lloyd, Paul and myself. Lloyd and I helped carry Paul back home, because otherwise home might have been the Northbourne gutter. He was fairly sloshed, so it was the fair thing to bring him home anyway possible.
I got a chance to talk to Bridget alone, she said she had read my email, and that it didn't matter what a person had on the outside, but what they had in the heart. Bridget, if one day you read this, I just want to thank you for being a friend of mine, you're a Grouse Aussie Shelia.
Mmmmmm… I've got a cold caramel Tim-tam…Mmmm.. truth be told, I'd prefer a nice warm body to share them with, but single life appears to be my terminal destination.
The 21st party is on tomorrow, so I have to remember to wake-up/sober-up for that. I don't know how I'm going to be able to drink alcohol for the 3rd day running, but I guess I'll get over it.
O much for my "I'm going to slim down for the Ball" ideal, she says as she has her second Tim-Tam…
You know what frightens me? The fact that I don't usually lie or exaggerate. Almost everything I say to my friends is true, but I pretend that I'm making it up by laughing after I've said it so that it seems like a joke. Ahhh, is anyone around here half as bizarre as myself? I had this discussion with Bridget, that everybody around here is fucked in the head, but the difference is between those who think that they're normal, and those who know that they really are weird.
What else happened? The girls were keeping 50 cent coins down their bras, I got chatted to by a quite good-looking blonde girl who I quite fancied. Unfortunately it had been so long since I'd talked to anyone like that, that I just seized up and looked like a complete idiot. Oh well… :(
Anyway, off to bed now, must get some sleep big time…




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