This evening was nice. My friend Nina called and invited me around to her girlfriends place, so she came by around 6 pm. We picked up some food for the others and drove over, and it was really nice to see her again. She introduced me to her friends which was cool, to me it must have seemed like the Miami lesbian convention, because it's the most gay people I've seen in one place yet. They were cool and fun to talk to, and after they left we decided to pile into Jen's car and go see "Kissing Jessica Stein". It was an interesting movie, I wish the main characters could have been happy together but as Nina said afterwards "Some people just aren't gay". But to me that's the biggest mystery, it's not merely that I might be bisexual (something I didn't mention to them), but more that I'm so beyond being wrapped up about a persons body, it's what's in their head which counts most to me. However, I am in a privileged position, I know how easily flesh is molded, how the most distinctive traits and appearances are fluxed over time like a grape vine on a terrace. Nevertheless, I think Nina is a genuine friend, and I am happy that she thinks I am too. ^_^
My relationship with Allison came in for a few questions, questions which I found myself answering for what seemed like the first time. A lot of my friends either didn't know or didn't care about our relationship which hurt somewhat, so I was happy to answer her queries. "Do we show much affection in public" was one she asked which gave me a little pause. I know that more than Allison I fear what others might think, I guess I can blame a Catholic upbringing, but it's still not a good enough excuse. I love and cherish my girlfriend and it hurts me that I can't put out of my head my own fears which in turn hurt her. As it turns out, Nina once had a long-distance relationship with a girl in Australia, but even though she went and visited, in the end things sadly didn't work out.
I suppose I feared this at one time, but the sense of longing and need between Allison and I is so deep that I know we can't be separated for ever, even though however long it may be is always too long. This afternoon I was lying in bed talking to her and telling her of my dreams of "blessed domesticity", of being there when she gets home from work, and all the simple pleasures of just being together and knowing that there isn't a plane I have to leave on.
This morning was another example where she saved me from my own obsessive ness. I'm rather jealous of a girl who's diary I read occasionally, jealous for not much more reason than the fact that I felt I could use her measuring stick as my own and was coming up short. As it is, I have a lot of things that this girl can't claim at all, but the exclusive vision we so often gift ourselves with is notoriously selective.
It amused me no end to find out that sometimes Nina couldn't understand what I was saying. To some degree it is my Australian accent, but much more problematic is my tendency to talk too fast. As it is, I don't think I ever really talk "slow" unless I'm having to make an effort to be understood, although no-one else has yet to raise a complaint.
Tomorrow will be depressingly mundane alas. I received a letter from my landlord saying that I needed contents and liability insurance which I have absolutely no idea about, so I need to ring tomorrow and find out about it. Luckily my boss will be away until Wednesday, I just hope that I can get it done before I fly out at the end of next week.
At the moment I'm reading "The Cathedral and the Bazaar", an interesting look at the open-source movement in the past decade or so. It's interesting, but still not enough to want me to ever learn a computing language.