I guess this is as good a place as any to start afresh.

Well, you know how I said I was going to be logical and save my money by not buying that video camera... erm, well you see...

So, I know video taping myself writing a diary entry is really weird, but I have this thing about seeing myself from new and unexpected angles. The camcorder actually only cost $146, but I bought a 4-year warranty plan just to be on the safe side, does that mean I was still thinking logically in the middle of illogic? It's strange, I haven't wanted something like this for a very long time. It's true that this is a "toy" and when I was young I had a different craving for different toys almost every month, I just wasn't in a position to buy them. At the moment I'm making a tape to send back to Australia, there may be a little trouble with the different video formats, but I don't expect anything too catastrophic.

On a bit of a down note, Illara didn't get the 6 month position which she was promised. :( Still, she's got her rent paid up which means she can hold out while she looks for more temp work or even a permanent position. *fingers crossed*

While I was recovering, my doctor had prescribed some pain relieving medicine; Lorcet. The active ingredient is hydrocodone, an opiate analog which is also the active ingredient in Vicodin, and as Ally mentioned later, it made me a right royal pain to be around. Thankfully the pain was minimal and I didn't need to finish the 20 pills which I had been prescribed. I only took two or three of Halcion tablets which I had been given to help me sleep and I was grateful because I don't like being chemically dependant on medications.
One person I know of claims to have taken over 100 Vicodin tablets in 2 weeks with a further two scripts to go through, and she refers to this as a "minor bender". I guess I feel rather sorry for her.

Fearful symmetry.

Today was ok I guess, it was work as usual and so forth. I had the appointment with my surgeon at 3 pm, but had to move it forward because we had a group meeting at 4 pm. I got to the office at about 2 pm, knowing that this was to be the appointment for the start of "massaging".
The basic idea is to massage the breasts to soften the inevitable scar formation known as "capsular contracture", though it wasn't quite what I expected. One of the doctor's assistants did the massage which quickly had me gasping for breath and then groaning in pain. The skin is still somewhat taught from being stretched and although she only spent a few minutes on each breast it was real torture. I walked out pained and red with my next appointment scheduled for 11:30 am Friday. I know that it's "good" for me, but damn it hurts.

I caught a bus back to the lab and got back to work. I came home about 6 pm and took a well deserved rest. About 7:30 pm I cycled over to the local bookstore chain where the "Open Mic" night was going to be on. I wandered around for a bit, and grabbed a book of poetry just in case I felt particularly adventurous. At first there didn't seem to be anybody else, but then a guy with a guitar showed up and sang and played a few songs. After he had finished, nobody from the small crowd seemed anxious to jump up, so I walked over. The poem I had chosen to read was "Tyger, Tyger" by William Blake, one of the classics of the language. I outlined briefly why he had written it in the early years of the Romantic movement and the English Industrial Revolution. As I read the poem my stomach was turning and my leg was visibly shaking, but I managed to get through and finish it. The woman who organized it snapped a Polaroid of me which she gave me, so sickly nervous and yet happily elated I thanked her and went home.
Usually when I know that I have to speak in public I practice my talk until I could give it in my sleep and that makes it a lot easier on me. But this time I had picked up the book less than 10 minutes previously and it really showed. Nevertheless, I really did find it somewhat fun yet scary at the same time, presumably like adrenaline sports but with much less personal risk involved. Provided that I am free, I will definitely do it again next month, though I would like to find some more original material to give, even if it has to be "family-friendly".