Mildly ironic indeed that now that I've finished the job which I've been wanting to escape for the last 6 months, I'm depressed about it. Perhaps it's normal for this to happen, I haven't had a real job before this one, so now that it's over I'm all uncertain about the future, and barred like a stranger from where I used to be welcome. I probably should welcome this, having had the connection severed before rosy-eyed nostalgia can come into effect. The future is somewhat uncertain, and that is the most anxious thing. Not uncertain in the middle-term (I have another job lined up) or in the long-term (I'm young and very qualified), but in the short term. The main worry is about exiting and then reentering the US. I know I can get out in time, but I'm not 100% certain about getting back in on the visa waiver program and I would prefer not to be stuck in Mexico.
But I know myself and I know that this worrying is natural for me, my way of checking that I land on my feet by making very, very sure that there is ground beneath me.
Yesterday was busy, I woke up at 6 am to get ready and to return the rental car. I dropped that off about 7 am and was home by about 8:30 am. I checked my moving company in the Better Business Bureau and found that they had been recently fined along with several other companies in a court action. I was quite worried about this, but the time was so short that I decided to go with them anyway. Finishing in December is a major problem because in the second half of the month it's impossible to get much done because of the Xmas/New Year festivities. So, I talked to the sales rep and we went through all the details, and I asked them to drop off the packing boxes on Monday with the moving date being Sunday 15th December.
In the afternoon I had to go into work to return my keys. That, like clearing out my desk was painful but necessary. Later that afternoon was the Department Xmas party which was alright. It reminded me of just how few people in the department I knew at all. Because my research group was in a distant separate annex, and the rest of the Department was on the third floor of a completely separate building it was hard to mingle socially, and the awkwardness of talking to people I barely knew is something which I shan't miss.
1:05 pm - I went for an hour long rollerblade this morning. Exercise keeps me from getting too down and out, plus I definitely need the exercise.