I'm writing now because it's unpleasantly early in the morning on the first day of a new year. I can't turn off the conversations in my head (one-sided though they are), but at least by writing I might be able to change the topic for a little while.
The conversation that I'm trying to turn off, is the idea that I'll never be able to fully interpret the subtle language of women, especially regarding intuition. By analogy, I believe it is a bit like cooking. Some people are very good at it, some people are very bad, and the rest of us have some greater or lesser degree of skill. Continuing the analogy, it's just as important to be aware of it as being able to perform it. I think my own ability is neither amazing, nor nonexistent, but I simply have to get the conversation in my brain believing that. Hence I'm writing until either the sun comes up, or I go back to sleep.
It's been a nice few days, and I am glad I am here. I am trying to avoid crowding Bonnie at all, since I do not want her to feel uncomfortable. On Friday we did our own work, I haunted the coffee shops, and she had dinner with her parents in San Francisco. Afterwards (about 9:30 pm) I met her at the Mission Street BART station and we boldly headed through the rain to the Lexington. San Francisco is the world's queerest city, and yet the Lexington is the only full time lesbian bar. The first thing that strikes one upon entering is how small it is. Nevertheless, the atmosphere is warm and friendly, perhaps due to the red walls, and it has a strong under 30's clientele. I don't think I've ever seen so many trans men in one place. Bonnie and I sat near the door, talking and “people watching” for much of the night. Later on, two girls (Page and Heather) sat next to us, and we talked with them as best we could over the (not intolerably loud) music. It took me a little while to figure out that Heather was trans, but only because my trans radar is so very rusty. Heather also had a brand new girlfriend who was not there that night, but we talked and had fun.
Bonnie and I left just before midnight, and caught the last BART train across the bay. We were stuck on a platform waiting for 20 minutes due to delays, and so we didn't stagger up the hill through the floodwaters to our respective places until about 2 am.
On Thursday, Bonnie went and worked and I took life as it came, albeit slowly. In the evening we ate pizza and roast beef at her place, and then afterwards we went down to the YMCA. Bonnie has been working out since summer, and the results are very impressive. Since the Berkeley gym was closed, and because she had a free coupon we decided to go and check it out. She had written up a weights schedule for me using the knowledge she'd picked up during her own training. We each did our own workout, and I asked her for a few explanations. The gym is very modern and well equipped, and I will have to join the university gym when I get back to Montana.