8:14 pm - Thursday 12th January 2006

The utter banality of it all.

I used wikipedia to look up Anne Rice and Poppy Brite, and I was somewhat bemused to find that they look completely unremarkable. Either could pass for a kindergarten teacher or soccer mom. Caitlin Kiernan is a bit more remarkable, and not just because of the palaeontology degree.

Since Sunday I have been adsorbed in the world of online comics with a significant trans theme. I somehow ended up at The Wotch and devoured it in a long Sunday night binge. That was followed by Cheer! yesterday, and then finally Abstract Gender today. In these comics being trans is no big deal, which is just the opposite of the real world. I'm not exactly sure why this I am feeling this way, perhaps the incident with Kadie on Wednesday triggered it, or maybe it is because I have no close trans friends to talk with here in Montana. Perhaps it's because I've come full circle and now I look back wistfully on the days when everything was so fresh and uncertain and new. Now I'm “normal” and perhaps I miss being “unique”, I just don't know.

I had an early lunch with Lois today at a little Korean place not far from campus, and I don't think I've ever talked with her one on one. We had a good talk about how things are between Bonnie and I, how things are between Kadie and I, and how things are between me and myself. She was positive and encouraging as always, and I felt immediately better having chatted with her. Ironically Lois had coffee with Kadie this afternoon, so I wonder how that went.

I'm currently trying to compile a list of things I'd like to accomplish in 2006. I just have been feeling somewhat aimless since early December, a combination of reduced daylight, end of semester slump, holiday slowdown, and post interview ennui. I suppose part of it may also be because I don't actually have any goals at the moment. Therefore if I actually establish some goals, perhaps I can actualise them. This is what happens when I go to Life Hack.

Yesterday was the first official day of classes, so there were students everywhere. I sat in my first biochemistry lecture for the semester and it was fine. I spaced out and forgot to sit in on the chemistry lecture I was supposed to go to. I'll be lecturing in it for the first time next Wednesday, so that will be quite interesting. Brandon dropped by the lab in the morning, so it was good to see and chat with him. I ran some experiments and tried to be productive. In the evening, Kadie came by my apartment and we watched “My Neighbour Totoro” and drank wine. She left after midnight; unfortunately we still haven't really gotten over the incident from last week.

I also received an email from my good friend Rachel who is back in Canberra (Hi Rach!). Things are going reasonably well for her, although life is always full of some drama. Last week she sent me a great photo of her and her new VW Golf. I don't know why exactly, maybe it was because I was extraordinarily toey, or perhaps my hormones were raging that day, but she looked really hot. Now she is very pretty to begin with, but she is a good friend and I guess I don't usually think about friends in that way. I think that just recently I've also been wondering about how it would feel to be uh... that is to say have someone... um... you know sort of *cough* ...to be impaled in the nicest possible way. *blush* Of course I'm not at all into guys which eliminates the great majority of those, ah, implements. Um, you know, just forget I ever mentioned anything about it. *runs away*

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