I finally have a moment to myself, and what better way to enjoy the cool and quiet, but to collect my thoughts. This trip has been important on many levels, just as important as Xmas 2005 in Berkeley.
By whatever mechanism, I feel I am coming to a much greater understanding of myself. I am so much more independent than I ever realized, a social butterfly, and yet inherently a loner, same as it ever was.
It is so hard these days to find my inner voice, the unintentional filling of my days with activities has left me unable to find the quiet in which to self-reflect. Perhaps I have found a forthrightness that was lacking in me before, a desire to avoid conflict that has now been suppressed by the desire to be honest, to be direct, in doing so minimizing the hurt others may feel by knowing me.
There have been so many things occurring this weekend. Kadie collected me from the airport, and ensured that I had a place to stay. We met for coffee, talked and rode bicycles and worked through our intertwined past, seeing afresh our flaws and strengths in a new light. In the evening I met Andrea anew, and tried my best to simultaneously put her at ease, whilst showing my protectiveness for Kadie as a friend. Over a barbeque and movie at Adam's house, a rapport and a renewal was established.
On Saturday, four of us (Adam, Kadie, Andrea and myself) met for coffee at the CO-Op an then hiked one of the local canyon's. The view was magnificent and the wildflowers were in bloom. After the descent; in the late afternoon, Kadie, Andrea and I played pool and later Lori P dropped into town. Alas Katie P was out of town visiting family. Andrea and Kadie went home for dinner and the night in, and Lori and I walked back to her house. I spent some time catching up with her, and then Rachel came home from work. Lori had to go, Rachel was staying in, but I had game night to attend. It was one of the more subdued evening with the guys, but that was perfectly acceptable to me.