Goddam it, why the hell can't I just live my life the way I want? Why should I have to justify my gender selection to anyone? Why can't society get off it's eurocentric Judeo-Christian high horse and allow space for individual variation to exist? Instead I have to pass myself as one thing or the other so that society can make believe that everything is just how they believe it to be…I'm feeling upset, and I'm angry at the ignorance, stupidity and generally bigotry of my society and the human race in general…
Tonight I can see through the layers of flesh and the soul to the person whom I want to be… but that person is a "freak" and "abnormal". Can I integrate my longings and personal desires and still come to an amicable agreement with the rest of "normal" society?
The song "Are you the one I've been waiting for" is playing, and resonating through my heart… she is, I am, the united soul that I am longing for… it is not yet accomplished, it may never be… Doctors, psychologists all say that you have to be one or the other… no wonder so many of us kill ourselves… we're given a Yes or No option in a world which is a multitude of greys… Jen Gray, ultimately an appropriate name for one like us… the world can still suck even when all you want to do is love and let live… people hardly ever need any excuse to be vindictive and nasty… *sigh*

Enough moping for the moment, wake up you silly tart and realise what you have… depression is a sucky negative energy vortex and few people like a person who wallows in their own pity for very long…
Ah Ha, found it… Nick Cave and low lights are atmospheric, but depressing… she does, I do, enjoy and love life… too short it is to spend it in the dark, in the closet or in black moods… celebrate life, because the others won't know why you are perpetually happy… :)

Others are like children, unknowing of and unwilling to aspire to greater things… arrogance is easy when you live with pigs… but don't underestimate the power of a fist when you are alone…