11:55 pm - Ahhh… the world looks kind of nicer from behind the dripping of a rainy sky and Strauss's "Blue Danube". ^_^
Actually, the "Blue Danube" brings back memories of the "Polly's Ball" in Sydney at the end of 1998. That was where I first met Peta (then Jen) and Catherine. I was feeling rather isolated knowing only Szusza and Aerial, but I did eventually con Peta into whisking me around the floor as they played "Blue Danube". I sure as heck couldn't dance but wow it felt so wonderful. ^_^ *ah nostalgia*
12:10 am - Sometimes I see stuff (usually photos) that transvestites put up on the web, and I go "My God… this is wrong, so very, very wrong". I now know (as I guess I know I have always known) why and what it is I want to distance myself from. Not because I'm a snob, but because it is so incredibly "not me". *involuntary shudder*
Hmmm.. gotta plan, can't just wander through tomorrow without knowing what I need to do. Must plan, must scheme…
Distracted again. Often what I read in Manga strikes me at very deep, almost visceral level. I don't know why, maybe I've found an art-form I can immerse myself in unlike stale paintings hanging in a gallery. Why? I know it won't make much sense, but in the section I have re-read many times, one of the character falls into a nightmare where all her doubts are turned against her, but she meets her "inner self" and fights back…
"I always rely on others… Just let me sleep… it feels so good… I'm sleepy… You're right I don't have much self-esteem… Don't wake me up… Don't wake me up!"
"Princess…
Who is it… that's calling me. "Me"…?
Yes, "I" am a part of "you". Wake up, Princess. Don't be swayed by the Enemy's nightmare. Recall your true dream! You know… you're not that weak."
"Ah… right… I have all these people I love and adore. I want to love them even more. To protect them…"
I so have Jules to thank for introducing me to Manga, it makes the American comics I used to read seem like a ridiculous two-dimensional display by comparison…