Sunday, or perhaps even Saturday night I realized something. That was that I can't really see my old "boi" self anymore. I used to see my old self and then see the changes which had been superimposed on by hormones. Now when I look in the mirror, instead I just see someone new. It will take me a while to get to know her and become comfortable with the person I see there, but I like her nonetheless.
I didn't make for an unattractive guy by any count (IMHO), and I don't think I make for a bad looking girl either, but I have sacrificed that privilege of being able to attract girl's to my masculinity, because it was that masculinity which was causing me the grief.
But this morning, and now, I look into the mirror, and I've yet to convince myself that it is a girl looking back. Not because I don't feel that way, but perhaps I don't know what a "girl" should look like. I've seen so many girls, tall ones, short ones, pretty, plain, and so on that there isn't really any specific thing that says "this is what a girl looks like". For most people, change to their features is so gradual that except for trauma such as burns or scars, they never really see a stranger when they look in the mirror. I don't see a stranger as such, I see someone who I have to get to know and be comfortable with…
Hi all,
It was my one year anniversary of hormones on Sunday, it's only pseudo-official, because I didn't start estrogens until October, but it'll do nonetheless.
And now a snippet from my diary...
Sunday, or perhaps even Saturday night I realized something. That was that I can't see my old "boi" self anymore. I used to see my old self and then see the changes which had been superimposed on by hormones. Now when I look in the mirror, instead I just see someone new. It will take me a while to get to know her and become comfortable with the person I see there, but I'm pretty sure I like her nonetheless.
Anyone else ever have this? I just can't see the person I know was there for the longest time anymore. This isn't a problem, but it's like I've finally leaped across a chasm and am still waiting to touch down on the other side...
Steph
(Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the cutest Anti-Jen Adult Aussie chick of them all?) ^_~
10:40 pm - I've got writers block… or maybe just writers boredom…