Tomorrow, or rather today (Wednesday) since it's after midnight, Mum and Dad are coming over briefly to take the car home for it's service and registration. I haven't seen them over here together since at least a while before I moved out of Johns. Still, it will be nice I hope.
Tomorrow is also coffee time in the afternoon, I imagine it will be rather quiet since several people have gone home for the holidays. In other news, my mobile has died, I think it needs a new battery. Unfortunately it's such an old phone that it'll be next to impossible to find one.
I went over to the lab to set up a 13C NMR, and whilst I was over there I also uploaded my diary entries for the last week or so. Szusza had some photo's from the Ball up, but the only one I was in looked very ordinary, oh well…
12:00 am - Thursday 14th September 2000
Today was fairly productive despite everything else going on.
Mum and Dad came over and it was nice to see them, we had lunch at Toad for an hour and we chatted. They headed off after about an hour, and again I was let down. I'd said jokingly to Mum that I hadn't gotten a hug from her the last few times she'd been over, and although she was apologetic on the phone, she didn't show any particular affection whilst she was here.
Perhaps she simply forgot, on the other hand perhaps subconsciously she simply can't deal with my new physical appearance. Maybe she feels I killed slowly by degrees the son who had given her so much happiness in former days. It makes sense, I was the studious Uni graduate with the perfect girlfriend and I "threw it all away".
I suppose it's mildly ironic, my eldest brother won't accept hugs from her unless attacked by surprise, and yet I want them (and want them to be spontaneous) and what happens. :(
Oh well, she'll be back on Sunday.
In other news, it looks like I'll be watching the Olympic opening ceremony as S&J's house on Friday night. Thankfully I don't have to drive, so I can drink. On Saturday night Peta G has invited a few of us around so that she can show off her culinary skills. Again I'm not driving so I can drown my sorrows in wine.
And the little voice inside my head asks " So were you so sad before, that the pain you feel now would be worse if you had never pursued this path?"
I don't know, I can't say what might have been. I can be myself, but others prefer me the way I used to let myself be seen. And I, the eternal empathist hate what they feel, and hate knowing it is due to me trying to be me.