11:20 pm - Thursday 2nd November 2000

It could be said that I am a fake woman, but isn't most womanhood in today's society fake anyway?

My time at the lab has been incredibly unproductive this week. In fact, I've typed probably five times as much on ICQ as I have on my thesis simply because I can't find the elusive angle I need to get into it.
I did chat with Illara today which was nice and later read her diary. She is winding her writing back due to a combination of writers block and other activities keeping her busy. I on the other hand wrote a dozen entries for October alone, but the poorer quality shows… I like to think of myself as the "McDonalds drive-through" of diary writers. ;)

Anyway, Illara wrote about how short interactions leave people thinking "female", but longer periods of interaction cause people to doubt that. This is something I worry about myself a bit, but which I believe may actually be an extension from "Nobody will believe I'm a woman" to "Only some people will believe I'm a woman". I think the issue may certainly exist, but will probably disappear with time… at least that's my hope.

11:00 pm - Friday 3rd November 2000

About this time last year, I was having constant, recurring bouts of depression because of my appearance and health problems whilst on Roaccutane. What a difference a year makes…

Basically I've been bouncing around because I love how my hair looks and consequently am able to realize all that is good in my life. Ok, so it took one and three-quarters of an hour and cost a lot, but right now I feel it was more than worth it. :)

Today was moderately busy. Waved to Peta G on my way to the hairdressers, later picked up photos and actually liked some of the ones with me in them! *gasp* Got some cards for the birthdays coming up and some food and came home for food and an evening nap.

Tonight to be exact is the kick-off for "Spring-OUT" the Canberran Queer festival. It's a two week long series of events which started last year. Tomorrow there is a fair-day and speeches in Glebe Park (really nice park near Civic) which I'll make an effort to get to. Last year Red and I attended and it was pretty good. On the other hand, I am somewhat selfishly apprehensive about being in town. The reason is simply that because of the presence of non-passing TV's, I'm worried about my passing being compromised. I know this is incredibly selfish, but I know I'm not the first Trans-girl to feel this way. I admit that nature has been kind to me in some regards i.e. lack of brow-bossing, moderately feminine jaw-line, but I still have my liabilities i.e. hands, feet, height…

Anyway, the rest of the festival is a mixture of art, film, and social events. It's a fairly good showing for a conservative city with only 300,000 people.

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