Hey, my first computer entry, I hope I can get the numbering scheme right. Prior to this I was just getting my diary-writing junkie high from an old notebook I used to use in undergraduate. I guess I realize that no matter how much I have personally changed, that won't be reflected at home. Still, the fact that I can still come home is something I suppose I shouldn't take for granted.
In the past few days, I've come home to a low-key arrival, done a lot of gardening, been horribly sun-burnt on my back, celebrated Xmas and done a lot of catching up on my sleep deficit. Today I phoned Illara and Ally and caught answering machines both times which was good because it meant that they were with their respective families. Thinking of people like Lisa J from the AJ list makes me realize that parental love is definitely not a given under many circumstances, transsexuality being one.
Although it is nice to be "home", the place isn't me. I am enjoying my time, but the use of my old boi name and pronouns is something I doubt will ever be corrected. Maybe I should be grateful being "me" for 51 weeks of the year before I turn in the "fake me" for the Xmas period. My dear friends have shown me greater love and friendship than my siblings ever had, and although this doesn't bother me too much, I wish it were different.
I'm looking forward to getting back to Canberra and getting on with my life, I want to get rid of the holiday kilos I just know I've put on, plus I'm looking forward to getting dolled up for New Years, even if it is just going to be over at the Meridian. I guess when you spend almost every day in the laboratory, spending a week away seems like an eternity.
I'm looking for a hug from a friend, a kiss from a stranger and warmth from a partner, unfortunately obtaining these things range from simple to seemingly nigh impossible in my current situation. *sigh* Oh well, never mind.