It's been up and down. Last night I changed my computer background from the "Unmasked" picture (you can see it on my synopsis page) to one of Yun (from Lean on Me) dancing. I thought it was unintentionally symbolic that the person who was behind the mask is no longer crying, but dancing with the joy of life. Or at least that was a thought… then this afternoon at an "Endnote" seminar, I got a "him" and my mood went quite black from there. I guess I've been getting used to either "she" or nothing at all (which is fine). I've been on oestrogen for almost 18 months and I know that the most radical changes have finished, from here on I can expect diminishing returns. I don't think I'm unattractive, simply tall and bulky with too few essential gender clues.
Naturally it didn't take long for my mind to drift back to the realm of that most over-discussed of all things medical; "Facial surgery". Not just facial surgery mind you, I'm definitely going to have my breasts enhanced at one stage also, as it is, what is below the waist doesn't bother me as much as getting the correct pronoun consistently. Above and beyond passing, I can see areas which I want improved anyway, some extra electrolysis would be handy, along with a skin peel after the little bump in the middle of my nose comes off and I get my chin tapered a tad. Oh yeah, that annoying lump of cartilage on my throat has to go too…
Of course this is all pure fantasy for someone who can barely afford to feed herself…