Yeah, the time marker is correct, it's 4 am and what the hell am I doing being awake let alone writing a diary entry at this hour? Well, my days have been ending earlier and earlier. I've been getting home at some time in the evening and eating and then sleeping for exorbitant lengths of time. I guess it's a combination of having this lingering flu and some fairly heavy duty stress from the thesis.
At the moment I'm trying to get Chapter 2 and the revised Chapter 3 to my supervisor by Friday. In doing so I spent about 8 hours staring at a computer screen today which gave me a throbbing headache by the time I got home. In summary after getting home and eating dinner I was in bed by about 6:30 pm. All this explains why I am now awake at this frozen hour of the morning.
It's been 176 diary entries and 365 days since this time last year. Something which I now only see in retrospect is just how deep I was in the middle of transition back then. While I realize that I will always be undergoing change and growth, it really was in the Winter of 2000 that I reached the floor of the valley and looked upwards at the mountains on the far side. I guess it's perfectly human to see things in their full context only after they have passed into history.
I gave Marie Chapter 3 (V2.0) to look through and I hope to have Chapter 2 finished by tomorrow to send to my supervisor to work on. I'll probably attack Chapter 4 after that, but we'll see. I chatted on ICQ and even went to the gym for the first time in quite a while this evening, so I'm thankfully getting my energy back despite the short days.
Last night I couldn't sleep and as I tend to do when this happens I felt cold and alone and down. I rang a friend, and although she certainly wasn't expecting me to call her at that time, she managed to lift my mood and make me feel that all would be Ok. If only to have her here with me.