Last night Susan, Jules and I went to Red's place and had dinner. Afterwards we watched "But I'm a Cheerleader!" which was very cool, I rarely get romantic about heterosexual couples kissing (probably because I'm saturated with images of that), but when the two lead girls started to get together, even my heart melted a little.
Yesterday I sent an email to the New Hampshire research group I was interested in, explaining how I got this very positive (and less well paid) response from the guy in Florida. I haven't been over to check my email yet, so I'm a bit nervous, but if worse comes to worse, I guess Florida isn't that bad.
Today I'm going to wander over to Gorman House markets in search of skirts and apart from that I am gloriously unorganized. I have an outfit in mind that I want to construct, this is something I get from time to time, where I say Ok, I need this and this and this and it'll look great. In terms of lesbian terminology, I like to consider myself a "femme" as opposed to a "butch" (this may or may not be actually true), but being "femme" to my satisfaction is often a lot more work then I'm prepared to put into getting ready each morning. Jeans and chunky Dr Martin boots are a lot more comfortable and functional than stockings and dresses (and don't even get me started on make-up removal), and yet occasionally I strongly feel the need to look nice. I'm sure if I was working as a secretary or somewhere in retail, I'd be in a reverse position. I know the femme/butch dichotomy is a lot more than what one wears, but it was just a thought.
Another thought (dangerous I know, I'll get some extra heat-sinks installed) I mentioned in conversations with Peta is "Tranny-hawks". That is people (particularly other TS people) who have "tranny-radar", I've never actually considered that maybe in one of my many strolls through Civic that there might be some pre-transition or deep-stealth TS who sees me and in their mind say "Hey!". I know I'm never going to have the option of deep-stealth (height, hands and history), and in some ways not being able to have an elaborate cover blown is a bit of a relief. I guess I'm working on the presumption that people already know and if they can't work it out, I'm not obligated to have it tattooed on my forehead.
9:10 pm - I went to Gorman House markets today and saw "The Well of Loneliness" by Radcliffe Hall at a book-stall. Apparently in the end, the main character cares for her lover so much, that rather than have her endure the terrible stigma of lesbianism, that she forces her to leave and go to a man in whom she might find more conventional happiness. I can identify with that kind of altruism…
For those who don't regularly check my links list, I recommend Illara's And Everything Went Gray page which has recently been redesigned. I'm always jealous of how well she writes, but I figure that my Ph.D. has sucked out my imagination and that the slightly more interesting part of my life I prefer to not talk about online too much. Peta mentioned that she had emailed Illara recently about how she thought the "middle-aged transition" was destined to become a thing of the past, I can only hope so. I know that the rise of the internet has resulted in a boom of young gender dysphoric people being able to get their hands on an amazing diversity of information and being able to take appropriate steps from there.
On a related note, a while ago Illara forwarded me a link to a person's web-page in Melbourne. This person has an interest in yaoi Manga and is a good web-designer, but nowhere on this person site do they use a gender pronoun in reference to themselves. In an interesting twist it's the absence of pronouns which gives "her" away. Of course any girl who is interested in computers, Manga, anime and role-playing games is instantly suspicious in my books. ^_~