Thanks to kbhr, Stuart, Action for Aids Singapore, and the Terrence Higgins Trust.
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Due to the nature of sexual relationships in the "scene", gay men who have sex with multiple partners are considered a risk group for HIV infection. Playing safe is 100% your responsibility and 100% your partners responsibility.
As a rule, do not engage in unprotected anal sex, keep track of your sexual partners if possible (so you can inform them or they can inform you if one of you contracts an STD), get tested regularly if you have an active sex life, do not get complacent just because you have a steady sex partner and you have both tested negative for HIV unless you are absolutely sure that both of you can be trusted not to have sex outside this arrangement.
Some people now think that low self-esteem leads to many gay men agreeing to engage in unprotected, unsafe sex as a means to get affirmation or acceptance. Before you start being sexually active, ask yourself why you are having sex. Is it because you think sex will make this person like you? Is it because you think sex will make you feel desirable? Is it because you think sex will make you feel better about yourself? These are not the best reasons to have sex. Have sex because you enjoy it, have sex as a symbolic union with your lover, have sex to explore new physical sensations, but do not expect it to miraculously change your life and improve your well-being.
What kinds of condoms and lube should I use?
Use a strong, viable (check the use-by date) condom and water based lube. Oil based lubes will damage the condom, and may negate any safety benefits. Do not store condoms in your pocket or wallet, as heat damages the condom.
Can I tell if my partner has an STD?
There is no way to tell casually if a person is infected with an STD. Often a person who is infectious will not show any symptoms. This means you can be infected by your partner even if he is seemingly healthy. Many STDs have effects initially only inside the body which can not be seen by you or your partner.
If you are sexually active with multiple partners, it is advisable to get checked up every three to six months, regardless of whether you show symptoms. This is both for your well-being and so you can modify your behaviour to protect others.
The following may be symptoms of an STD:
Discharge from penis. Pain when urinating. Sores or blisters on penis. Itching in or on penis. Small growths on penis. Discharge from anus. Pain in anus or when shitting. Sores or blisters in or around the anus. Itching in or around anus. Small growths around anus.
Many STDs such as HIV have few or no early symptoms, or have symptoms which pass quickly and can be mistaken for the flu. If you have any reason to believe you may have been infected with an STD, try to get tested as soon as possible.
Where can I get vaccinated anonymously for Hepatitis?
There is no anonymous vaccination for Hepatitis in Singapore, you have to get it from your doctor. However, most people are being vaccinated against Hepatitis, even children. In fact, you may already have been vaccinated against Hepatitis B. There is little stigma associated with getting a Hepatitis jab.
Where can I get tested anonymously for HIV/AIDS?
DSC clinic,
Block 31 Kelantan Lane
on saturdays 1pm to 4pm
Tanglin level 12-02
Wednesdays 6:30pm to 8:30pm
What kinds of sex do not transmit HIV?
As a rule, if no blood and other fluid contact is involved in sex, the risk of HIV transmission is extremely low.
Absolutely safe activities include body kissing, massage, caressing, cuddling, mutual masturbation and oral sex (blowjobs) with a condom.
As long as both partners' mouths and anuses have no cuts or sores, French kissing (mouth to mouth) and rimming (mouth to anus) are also safe, though wen rimming, you may want to use a dental dam if you are worried (a piece of plastic or latex that will cover the anus).
As long as the partner receiving cunnilingus (mouth to vagina) is not menstruating and does not have cuts or sores around the vagina, this activity is also safe.
As long as neither partner has cuts or sores on their skin, watersports (urine), scat (shit) and fingering (of the anus or vagina) is safe.
Unprotected oral sex may carry a very low risk (see next question).
Protected anal sex (with a latex condom and plenty of water-based lube) may carry a low risk of transmission, especially if the condom tears, comes loose or is improperly used.
Unprotected anal sex has a very high rate of transmission, and is extremely unadvisable. This is due to the thin layer of cells in the anus, as well as the friction, which tends to expose blood vessels to the virus. Even pulling out before cumming (orgasm) is dangerous, as the penis already starts secreting fluids (precum) just being erect which does contain HIV.
Bondage, SM and roleplay have various degrees of risk depending on what is done. Remember: no fluid contact means no sharing of dildoes or other penetrative sex toys, douches, or anything which might touch or draw blood.
Can I get HIV from unprotected oral sex?
There have been extremely few reported cases where blowjobs have resulted in the transmission of HIV, and no reported cases where cunnilingus has resulted in transmission of HIV (although theoretically there is still a risk). In most of these cases, one or both partners had visible sores or cuts on the penis and/or mouth.
Studies have shown that there is a component of human saliva which deactivates the HIV virus on contact. It makes no difference generally if you spit or swallow cum (semen/sperm), as the mode of transmission of the virus is more likely to be your gums or inside of the mouth rather than the throat (which has a thicker layer of cells and a protective mucous lining).
Is HIV the only incurable sexually transmitted disease?
No, Hepatitis A,B and C as well as Herpes also have no known cures (although they can be quite effectively controlled and are unlikely to prove fatal).