As well as the following questions/topics, you may want to read the basic faq also on this site to familiarise yourself with queerness and what your child/student may be discovering or feeling.
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I think my child is gay, what should I do?
First ask yourself why you think your child is gay. Is it because he/she behaves in stereotypical ways (e.g.: A boy might be effeminate, or a girl could be masculine)? This does not necessarily mean that your child is gay. In fact, any child can be gay, even the most "heterosexual" acting.
You may want to prepare yourself for the child's coming out by getting informed (reading books, surfing the net), so that it does not come as a shock and gay culture is not totally foreign to you when your child does tell you. You may want to mention homosexuality in the course of conversation, in a way that lets your child know that you are not opposed to homosexuals.
Do not try to put pressure on your child to come out if he/she does not seem to want to. Do not put pressure on your child to try to behave in a more "manly" or "womanly" way. Even if the child is heterosexual, this can cause stress and lower his or her self-esteem. Do not criticise your child's friends who may act "gay". This can lead to the child seeing the world as me-and-my-friends vs. my-parents.
My child just came out to me, what should I do?
Talk to your child about homosexuality. If he/she has come out to you, it is usually a sign that he/she is willing to discuss being gay. Your child may sometimes sound hostile or impatient if you ask him/her questions. This is because sometimes questions can sound like accusations. Explain that you just want to find out more, and that you are trying to become less ignorant about homosexuality. Unless he/she brings it up, it is best not to ask about boyfriends/girlfriends and sexual habits. Your child will tell you if he has a boyfriend when he wants to. Sometimes he is acting to defend the privacy of his boyfriend (who may not have come out yet).
At this stage, you do not have to be the perfect parent. Unless you have known it for a while, this probably came as a big shock to you. In the heat of the moment you may have become angry or very upset or even hysterical. Explain to your child when both of you have had time to calm down that you were just reacting that way because of the shock. Explain why you are shocked, and your fears and worries. Your child may or may not have done some reading/research of her own, and may be in a position to reassure you and answer questions. Do not be afraid to apologise, don't let pride get in the way of love.
In Singapore, coming out is quite a challenge to the existing social structure. Your child may suddenly seem foreign to you, or like somebody you do not know. In a way, there is a part of your child which he/she has chosen to reveal only now, but that does not mean that the person you knew before has stopped existing. This is just a side of your child you can learn about from now on. Unfortunately, little support is available in Singapore for parents and teachers of gay children. Advice from religious leaders, friends and family on this subject will often be useless or misleading due to their lack of experience with such matters. Books and other media, as well as your child and possibly her friends, may be the best way for you to learn about homosexuality.
If your child has come out to you, he has probably put a lot of thought into it, and so it is highly unlikely to be a phase. Clinging on to the hope that your child will "grow out of it" will only lead to disappointment for you, and resentment and hurt for your child.
Will my child be able to grow up normal?
Everybody's definition of normal is different. In Singapore, your child will be unlikely to grow up, get married and have kids (although it is still possible, it is made very difficult by the government's tax and housing laws). However, your child can still become a useful productive member of society, get a good job, take care of you in old age, be an aunt or uncle and have a long-term partner.
It is hard to predict what the future will be like for gay people in Singapore, but the new generation of young gay people are finding friends, becoming musicians, athletes, artists, lawyers, doctors and living happy fulfilling lives.
Some people believe that gay people are better at coping healthily with adulthood because they have experienced stress and overcome difficulty when they were young, and so have a balanced perspective on life.
I find it embarrassing to talk about gay issues. What should I do?
You may be uncomfortable talking about gay issues because these things are just "not done" in Singapore. To get over this, you may want to try techniques such as saying the various words like lesbian, gay, homosexual out loud to yourself so you get used to hearing yourself say them. Read books on the topic, and try reading out passages from those books. You may want to read Alex Au's essays on gay identity here to put local gay identity in perspective.
How do I know if I am being homophobic?
Do you feel that it is inappropriate to have your daughter's girlfriend visit you? Do you have the impression that gay men are predators out to get your child? Do you ever wish your child had not told you she was gay? Do you feel embarrassed by your child when he is acting effeminate? Do you wish your child would stop reading these "gay books" or stop hanging out with her gay friends? Do you feel disgusted, embarrassed or uncomfortable when your child expresses affection for or mentions his boyfriend? Do you think homosexuality should be "tolerated" but not accepted? Do you think two men or two women can never really be in love? Do you think that two men or two women should never raise children or get married?
These are all signs that you may have some lingering homophobia. In time, with effort, however, you should be able to get over this initial stage of fearing homosexuality as something different and come to accept it fully.
What should I do to make my child get well again?
Your child is not sick. There is no controllable external force that can shape your child's sexuality. Homosexuality cannot be cured or altered.