When I was young, the only image of homosexuality that was expressed by others was the negative one. It seemed to me, at the time, that everybody who I had ever met thought being gay was such a terrible thing. I hadn’t heard anybody say one good thing about a gay person until I was about 16 years old; but had heard all of the jokes and remarks about gay people. I first consciously classified myself as gay at the age of 13, and had an opportunity to explore my sexuality with a male friend at this age. At this age it did cause me a great amount of difficulties that included feeling suicidal and deeply depressed for a number of years after.

It wasn’t until I told a good friend my sexual preferences when I was 16 that I really heard that positive feelings towards homosexuality actually existed! He said to me that it would not change his views about me, and he really meant it. I thought he would either accept it, not accept it, or tell me that he was also gay. I hoped for the last of the three, but sadly it wasn’t the case. At the time, I needed a good listener as I hadn’t really spoken to anybody about my sexuality properly - but bottled it all up inside of me. He was there to talk to when I needed him, and I think he found it interesting to hear what I had to say, as I was the first gay person who he was friends with.

Since then, I have come out to all of my classmates and friends at college, and a few selected friends at University. The people at college found my sexuality interesting as they hadn’t encountered anybody in the flesh they know was gay, and were mostly very accepting and supportive. I was worried about one person who was a bit homophobic in my group, as previously he said in a class discussion that he would not want a gay person to be within 25 meters of him; but it turned out when I told him, he wasn’t really homophobic, he just didn’t really think about what he was saying at the time.

People at first didn’t want to talk to me about my sexuality in case they upset me, or in case they thought they might offend me in some way. They wanted to ask questions from who I fancied to when I found out I was gay, but were reluctant at first. The truth is that I don’t mind people asking me about my sexuality, out of curiosity or through education. I told my parents that I was gay last January - and they were very shocked to say the least!

I came out to selected friends at university one by one. This was a fairly recent event, and they have all been great about it all, and I think they still feel the same way towards me as before I told them. I thought that they might of rejected me as a friend, and as I am sharing a flat with four other males, they would be able to make my life hell. Luckily - this didn’t happen.

For about a year, I have been researching homosexuality from the psychological point of view and also the genetic arguments that exist. The genetic arguments, for example, show that in the anterior commussure of the brain - a pathway connecting the left and right hemispheres of the cerebral cortex - are different between heterosexuals and homosexuals.

I have been in a sexual relationship with somebody for the last four years that has recently ended, so now I am mainly looking for a loving long term relationship.

If anybody would like to discuss anything with me, please e-mail me (address on main page), and I will try to respond as soon as possible.

Back to main page...

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page