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Wet kissing is safe unless either of you have a sore or cut in your mouth or bleeding gums.
After you brush your teeth or floss, wait a half an hour before kissing.
Touching your lover's breast, massage, masturbation and body to body rubbing are safe--as long as there is no blood or breat milk exchanged.
Sores or cuts on the fingers, mouth or vagina of either partner can increase risk during vaginal and anal contact. Using a glove can prevent a way for the virus to get into your blood stream.
Unprotected oral sex is risky, especially when your partner has her period or a vaginal infection. To make it safer, cover her genital area (vulva) with a latex dam (also known as a dental dam) or you can cut open a condom to make a barrier. If a woman is infected, her menstrual blood, vaginal secretions and ejaculate will have the virus in it. HIV has been found in these fluids.
Sex toys are safe when used by yourself, but should not be shared without a new condom being put on them.
S&M or rough sex is safer if there is no blood involved. If you are piercing each other, clean the needle with bleach. In shaving use separate razors.
Lesbian Safe Sex Guidelines--How to rate your Behaviors
NOT RISKY
Massage
Hugging
Fantasy
Voyeurism
Exhibitionism
Masturbation (Touching Yourself)
Vibrators or other sex toys (Not shared)
Dry Kissing
Body To Body Rubbing or "Tribadism"
when fluids are not involved
POSSIBLY RISKY
Wet (French) Kissing
Shared hand & genital contact with a barrier
such as a fingercot, glove, or latex dam (a square piece of latex)
Cunnilingus (Oral-Genital contact)
using a barrier
Fisting using a barrier
PROBABLY RISKY
Shared hand, finger & genital contact
with cuts or sores
Cunnilingus (Oral or Tongue to genital contact)
without a barrier
VERY RISKY
Cunnilingus without a barrier during menstruation
Femal or male ejaculate in the mouth, vagina or anus
Rimming without a barrier
Fisting without a barrier such as a glove
Sharing sex toys without a barrier
Sharing needles of any kind, i.e.: to shoot drugs, pierce or tattoo the skin
Getting Pregnant--
If you have sex with a man or use donated sperm, make sure he has two HIV tests six months apart and tested negative both times. The first test should be six months after his last possible exposure to HIV. The donor must have no possible exposure to HIV between his last test and donation. All licensed sperm banks test their donors carefully and test the sperm twice.
Latex Dams
Latex dams are rectangular pieces of latex a few inches square which are used as a safe sex barrier during oral sex [with a woman (cunnilingus) or during oral-anal contact (rimming)]. They're also called dental dams, since they were originally made for dental work. (If you haven't had any dental work lately, the dental dam is stretched on a frame across the mouth, with the tooth in question sticking up out of a small hole. This prevents bacteria, chunky bits of tooth or filling, or dropped dental instruments from falling in your mouth.)
During sex, latex dams are stretched across your partner's genitals to prevent your tongue from touching your partner's juices. They are effective method of disease prevention, but can be difficult to hold in place.
Latex dams made for dental work can be found at medical supply stores and some sex shops, but can be quite thick. Thinner varieties, made especially for safer sex, can be found in some sex shops and catalogs. Often they are a bit bigger than dental dams, making them easier to hold. One brand is Glyde "Lollyes." You can also get panty-like dam-holding "harnesses" for hands-free operation.
Hint: Put a dab of lube on the genital side of the dam if things are starting off too dry.
Making a Dam out of a Condom
You can easily make your own dam out of a condom. Use a condom that isn't lubricated with spermicide, since you'll be putting your mouth on it. They're simple to make. First unroll the condom, then:
1.Cut off the tip.
2.Cut off the base
3.Now cut down one side
You now have a square latex dam.
Use latex condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. Use a water-based lubricant (K-Y, Astroglide, Probe); oil-containing products (Crisco, Vaseline, baby oil, lotion, whipped cream) can destroy latex. A drop of lube inside the condom may increase sensitivity. Don't use saliva as a lubricant.
Other contraceptive devices do not protect against AIDS. Products containing Nonoxynol-9 (a spermicide) can kill HIV and may provide extra protection, but should not be relied on alone. Some studies show that Nonoxynol-9 can cause genital irritation that may promote HIV infection, especially with very frequent intercourse. The effects of ingesting Nonoxynol-9 are unstudied.
Blood-to-blood contact is the most direct route of HIV transmission. Sharing needles (for drugs, steroids, piercing or tattooing), razors, or any implement that draws blood is dangerous since blood may be left on used implements. Clean needles by rinsing several times with bleach then with water. Avoid contact with blood in s/m scenes. Whips or knives that break the skin should not be used on another person until disinfected with bleach or a cleaning solution.
Use an unlubricated condom for oral sex if a man will come in your mouth. For oral sex on a woman or oral-anal sex (rimming), use a dental dam (latex square), a condom or latex glove cut to produce a flat sheet, or non-microwaveable food wrap. Rinse powder off dams before use. Use all barriers only once and only on one person.
Oral sex on a man without ejaculation or on a non-menstruating woman is thought to be a low risk activity. There is a risk that HIV could enter through small cuts or openings in the mouth, gums or throat; avoid brushing your teeth two hours before or after oral sex to minimize abrasions.
If you share sex toys like dildoes or vibrators, put on a fresh condom for each user (and when going from anus to vagina), or clean with bleach, alcohol, or soap and water.
Use latex gloves for finger fucking or fisting to guard the wearer against infection through cuts on the hand or arm, and to guard the partner against injury from fingernails.
Touching and kissing are safe. It is safe to get cum, vaginal fluid or piss on unbroken skin. No AIDS cases have been traced to kissing, including deep (French) kissing.
Precautions against AIDS can protect you from other sexually transmitted diseases such as gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, yeast infections, amoebiasis, and hepatitis B. Preventing other STDs can in turn minimize your chances of getting AIDS, since many STDs cause sores in the genital or anal area or around the mouth which can provide a path for HIV transmission.
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©The Rainbow Bridge, September 1996