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The Name

If you had your images turned on, you could see a picture of me here. I call myself the Red Furry Bear because that's what I am. My hair and beard are red, and my body is furry. At 5'10", with a 42" waist, there's about 250 healthy and bearish pounds of me. I work out regularly to keep it all in place, and I love it when my body gets the appreciation it deserves! (Click my picture to see more.)

The Orientation

I'm starting to explore my straight side more, and I find myself drawn to an eclectic selection of women. I have always had a taste for strong, voluptuous ladies, along the lines of a Dawn French, but I can't deny a serious crush on Demi Moore. I guess I like women with a bit of a dark edge, but definite soft curves.

My preference in men is masculine, athletic, furry or smooth, often sporting a goatee or other facial hair. Think Dino Morea, Murofushi Koji, Peter Krause, Bryan Callen, Eduardo Verastagui, Colin Farrell, John Leguizamo, Alex Dimitriades, Michael Jordan, Eddie Velez, Val Kilmer, Billy Zane, or a youthful James Garner or Fernando Lamas. (I've had longer to consider this list.)

Any race, religion, or ethnicity is fine with me. I do appreciate people of all colors, nationalities, origins, and flavors. I often find men and women with strong or mixed ethnic and cultural identities nice to look at, stimulating to talk with, and fun to listen to. They seem to get a kick out of me, too.

The Diversions

I am an erotic photographer and videographer by profession, and a people-watcher by nature. I tend to gravitate toward crowded public places when I'm alone, to watch the show. I also develop interactive digital media. One recent example is the personals site at personals.cyberbears.com, scripted from the ground up in PHP and MySQL.

I'm also a certified holistic massage practitioner with nine years of experience, and advanced training in Reflexology, Foot-Bone Movement, Energy & Chakra Balancing, and Lymphatic, Swedish, Applied Kinesiology, and Vibrational Massage techniques. I enjoy taking classes as new interests strike me, seeing live theater and dance performances, and browsing in used book stores. I do enjoy going to the gym when the weather is cool. Eating out with a friend is a nice way to cap off an evening or start an afternoon.

Laurie Anderson, Nina Hagen, the Indigo Girls, Alanis Morissette, R. Kelly, Edith Piaf, Lene Lovich, the Andrews Sisters, Romanovsky & Philips, Andrew Lloyd Weber (I admit it), Jacques Br�l, Joe Dassin, and Leonard Cohen are always welcome on my MP3 player. Bars and loud parties aren't my favorite places to hang out; I prefer my conversations one-on-one. I don't object to folks drinking, but the taste doesn't appeal to me. I've got nothing against marijuana either, although I myself don't smoke anything, and I don't enjoy being around tobacco smoke.

The Perspective

I take a holistic approach to life, integrating work, family, pleasure, health, faith, success, and passion. I try not to bury myself in any of these areas, while nonetheless giving each as much attention as it needs. This usually means focusing on one aspect at a time, and giving it my full attention, before moving on to the next. I identify as a Jewish American, making the most of the Diaspora while it lasts. I am also an optimist, a healer, and a believer in traditional as well as non-traditional spiritual practices. I pay attention, and I prefer to say yes to new opportunities whenever I can.

The Status

My partner and I are redefining the scope of an open relationship, and turning it into a tool for self-expression, personal growth, and a whole lot of great, harmless fun. I'm ambisexual, romantic, and up for making new connections. I don't discriminate among the various flavors of queerness and straightness, so bring your definitions along, and we'll probably have a lot of fun discussing them. National and international friendships are very welcome; I love to travel, and I'm a good tour guide. If you live in San Francisco or hereabouts, so much the better.

The Gender

Well, we all have our own take on that one, don't we? I tend to go with the Kate Bornstein model; the world is big enough for men, women, and the rest of us. I like the variety offered by having so many genders to choose among, and I do not limit myself to just one. That said, I seem to "scan" as a pretty masculine male, and I can go with that.

The Age Thing

I was born in the middle of the 1960's, so I'm in my early forties now. I notice that the early second quarter-century of life, around 21-40, tends to be where I find the people I am drawn to. I figure there must be a reason for that, and I'm not going to argue with something as subtle and individual as taste.

The Games

I like to get to know a person as a whole before getting to know his or her various parts more intimately. The parts I tend to notice first are the eyes and the hands. A woman's full breasts are as compelling to me as a man's tight, furry chest and abdomen. I love massaging a woman's back and rear just as much as I enjoy massaging a man's legs and feet. And I am very fond of being touched, and of slow cuddling. It would be a shame to have a big, warm, fuzzy body like mine and not share it. :^)

The Approach

Send me some email and tell me about yourself. If you have a web page, let me know the URL. If you have a picture, please send it along. You can write to me at redfurrybear@yahoo.com.


Last updated July 24, 2004
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