My Bio

Background: Where and when did it all start?
I have been dressing up for as long as I can remember, first trying on my mothers clothes and playing dress ups with a girl who lived a few houses away, during my Primary School years. I have also since learnt that my father had wanted a girl and had insisted that pink baby clothes be bought before I was born and I guess I got to wear them! I also remember my mother pinning my hair back with bobby pins to keep the fringe out of my eyes when I was at pre-school, and the ridicule I received, but then I didn't know better. I also remember once getting sprung trying on an old pair of my mother's high heels which I had spayed silver! (An up and coming Drag Queen!) I just told her I wanted to see what they felt like - she didn't mind but I was very embarrassed and hoped that dad wouldn't find out!

Into Adulthood: Becoming independant
My desires came and went during my school years, and eventually I shifted out from home having bought a house of my own. Now I could shop and dress up whenever I liked and soon accumulated a small wardrobe of clothes. (I didn't dare go out dressed however, remaining in the closet) I took in a boarder, a colleague from work, so had to curtail my dressing again until he eventually moved out. Even so, I went through stages of buying more and dressing up whenever the time was right, clothes, shoes, make-up, wigs, I had it all, then overcome by guilt and shame I would dispose of everything again only to start all over once more!

A Wife and family:
I moved again and a few years later met my wife. I thought that I would now be 'cured' and my past desires would be gone for good as I was now happily in love. Wrong! Although I tried to resist any compulsion for a while I soon gave in to my needs with a whole wardrobe of my wife's clothes now to choose from whenever I was home alone. And so it went on, children came and again I resisted the urge. I just wanted to be 'normal' having a wonderful loving family and being the father image the kids could look up to. What more could a man want?

Accepted but not supported:
We had moved to a smaller town outside of Melbourne. Over time I built up a wardrobe of my own including shoes, underwear my wife would be envious of, wigs, make-up and accessories. My wife was now aware of my dressing. I broke the news to her a few years earlier and she took it very hard. The children were not informed of my other persona however I could now dress more frequently when the opportunity was there and the kids were not home. My wife saw some of my clothes, particularly shoes as hers don't fit but never commented and to say there was no encouragement on her part would be an understatement. She found it difficult to come to terms with and would sooner it all just went away.

The First Steps:
Although I was a shiftworker and often had time off during the week I didn't have the opportunity to dress nearly as often as I would have liked but I felt far more comfortable wearing a dress than a collar and tie! I had only been outside the house on a few occasions and then in the dark! I believed I was passable but at the same time conscious of my height although there are many tall girls out there. I went out dressed, droven down into the town, parked and walked past the shops, then drove home again, hoping I wasn't seen by neighbours! A couple of times I dressed and went into Melbourne; once on my way to Trishia's Coffee Lounge in Peel Street whilst looking for a parking spot I drove into a police road block! I was able to do a U-turn without having to speak with anyone but it was an anxious moment.

The Internet:
I didn't belong to any groups and lived a fairly lonely existence as my femme self until I changed jobs and became more familiar with computers. I bought myself one and gained internet access to the wonderful TG sites out there. It was only by accident that I found many of the sites such as Donna's Den, and GeoCities. I made a number of friends through Chat Rooms and my whole world just opened up. Now I finally had some understanding of who and what I was. There were so many great Web Sites and Home Pages out there I decided I wanted one my own. Soon after I posted my first web site and pic for all the world to see!

New Friends:
It was through the internet that I was urged to take the next step. I was invited to join a list known as the Melbourne Girls. Social events, gatherings and barbecues were arranged by members on the list and I was soon on my way to my first outing! Not long after I was urged to join Seahorse Victoria and attended a number of meetings, including an occasional excursion to a restaurant or venue after the meeting.

All was fine, I had my wife's blessing and managed to get to outings uneventfully usually changing at a motel, but that in itself became both a hassle and costly, soon it all became a bother. I was offered a new position and moved to head office. It seemed that whenever I was home and had time to myself, so was everyone else. Opportunities to dress at home became rare as the kids got older and their movements unpredictable. Changes were also taking place in the work place and it became more and more stressful with each restructure. At this time I sought help for drepression.

Three years ago my world was shattered following the collapse of the company I worked for. I resigned from Seahorse over a personal matter and with many friends that I had made moving on, depression again set in and I felt lonely and isolated.

Where Am I Now?
text text.

The Future!
Who knows what the future will bring. Whether I will feel the need to be more socially active and how it will affect my family in time is an unknown quantity. One thing is for certain, it doesn't go away, nor does the pain of keeping my other persona to myself and the need to hide my true feelings from my family, and friends.