You are welcome to copy this page to your computer or print a copy for future reference. Perhaps you could use it as a guide, or maybe it could be a starting point for your own "coming out" plans. Good luck!

25 January, 1999

Dear Mum and Dad,

You're both probably wondering what this is all about, although you may already know. If I built up the courage to tell you what I was supposed to when I handed you this, then you'd both know that I am gay. That is something which is really hard for me to say to you. This isn't something which happened overnight, I realised that I might be gay back in 1990, when I was just fourteen years old. I have never been attracted to females; please don't get me wrong, females are great people and great friends, but unfortunately I don't feel I could even begin to have a relationship with one. I am automatically attracted to my own sex. I didn't decide to like guys, it's something which just happened, it feels natural for me.

For you mum, when you grew up, you were automatically attracted to guys, so you met and fell in love with dad. And you dad, when you grew up, you were automatically attracted to girls, so you met and fell in love with mum. You both didn't have to decide that you liked the opposite sex, it just happened to you naturally didn't it? Well it's exactly the same for me; when I was growing up, my feelings were telling me that I liked guys, not girls. It may sound strange to you, but I don't have to even think about it, it feels so natural for me to like guys. Some straight people don't believe you can naturally love someone who is the same sex as you, but I can tell you that it does happen, because it has happened to me.

I know you will both be very upset when you read this and hear me tell you that I'm gay. I can tell you that I definitely know for sure that I am gay. I would have liked to tell you both earlier, but I felt you might both react in an angry way, so I waited, keeping this huge secret to myself for all of these years. It was extremely hard for me to write this and build up the courage to tell you, but now that it's done I hope you understand that I am still your son, the same son I was before you knew I was gay. You both loved me yesterday, so hopefully you'll still love me today. I love you both very much and I hope you both still love me. You have done a terrific job of raising me and I appreciate and thank you very much for this. Me being gay is not a reflection on how I was brought up in any way. It's just something that happened, it happened when I was born, the decision was already made for me.

According to statistics, one tenth of the population is gay; that's a lot of gay people. It may not seem like there are many gay people around, but a lot of them are too afraid to come out in fear of being rejected by family, friends and society. I just happen to be part of that one tenth and nobody can predict who will turn out gay. Now that you know, I hope you will still treat me the same way as you did before; as a normal person. There is nothing wrong with me, it's just the way some people react when they hear someone is gay. I still want to live a normal life, just with another guy. I don't think there is anything wrong with this, as I consider this to be normal, but unfortunately many people wouldn't. Nobody is going to be able to change my mind and try to make me straight, as being gay is something which was a part of me when I was created. Some gay people try to act straight and attempt a straight relationship, but most of the time it ends up as a disaster and can sometimes cause suicide. I love life, and I love the way I am, so I'm not going to change and become depressed about who I should be. I am who I am. Everything I do will be exactly the same as it was before you knew I was gay, only I will be sharing my life with another guy, not a woman.

I would like to thank you both for taking the time to read this letter, I know it must be hard for you to find out your son is gay and I hope you understand that coming out and telling you I that am gay was an extremely difficult thing for me to do. I hope you will both be supportive about this issue, but if you don't want to know me as your son, then I will be happy you know the truth, but sad that you don't love me for who I really am. I will understand if you no longer want me to be a part of your lives. Please understand that this is something which happened naturally, it wasn't a choice, something told me that I love guys, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. If you have any questions about this issue, I would love to talk to you, and answer any questions you may have, and I hope we can still be as we are now; one happy family. Thank you, and please remember, I love you both, always!

Love from your son,

Jason.