Chapter One: In the Beginning

Before God, there was Grace. And she spoke: "Let there be God." And there was God. And Grace said, "Let there be darkness." And there was darkness. And God uttered, "Let there be light." And there was light. And lo, for God had spoken against Grace's wishes, he was smitten. And Grace laughed with such masculine might that her angels quivered in fear. With a swift blink of her piercing eye, Grace created everything in Heaven and on Earth and beyond.

Within six (6) minutes, the world was perfect. But grace was not content. How would her utopia be cared for? She decided to create a race of beings whose sole purpose would be to worship her and do her bidding. And so Gay men were created. Grace smiled as she saw Adam and Steve frolicking in the Garden of Grace.

Chapter Two:
How the Physically Female Were Created

One day, as Steve and Adam were frolicking in the Garden of Grace, Steve slipped and a rib randomly popped out, for Grace had willed it. In her infinte wisdom, Grace realized the men needed a playmate. So in the devine image of herself, Grace fashioned Woman from the rib. Grace knew no mortal could match her liquid metal body structure and volcanic soul, but she was nevertheless pleased with her new minion. And Grace spoke: "It's name will be Diana, Queen of the Amazons." And then Grace parted her noble lips and with a whisper-breath the Amazons were created. Now, in the continuing tradition of all Amazonian warriors, the new race had no sexual attraction to the males.

Chapter Three: How Straight People Came To Be

After Grace had created both the Amazons and the Gay men, the world seemed to be in perfect order. The women would kill large jungle beasts for pleasure and food all day, and the men would happily create new basket designs and make sure the huts were tidy. Although the two races enjoyed the nightime company of their respective groups, they did seem to get along fine as playmates in Grace's eyes. In fact, once while playing the common Grace-inspired game of "kill the man," Adam, who was hiding in the branches of a tree, accidently fell atop a large Amazonian princess. Before he knew what had happened, her "orifice of steel" had mistaken him for a jungle animal and he was trapped. The entrapment, however, was like a momentary explosive bliss and Adam then righted himself and ran home to Steve, which was appropriate at the time. Some months later, the princess begot an unholy child born not of Grace but of the milky man juice. Since the child was not of divine origin like the others, the demon grew to enjoy relations with members of the opposite sex and thus Straytitholomew's descendants were known as the "Straights."

Chapter Four:
Why the Story of Passover is Really About Grace

The traditional Jewish story of Passover recounts the tale of the Jews' exodus from Egypt after the Angel of Death had passed over the homes of the Jews and taken the first born sons of Egypt. The true story follows:

As time passed and Humans began to populate the Earth, Grace felt the desire to amuse herself by occasionally allowing large groups of people to gaze upon the energy that is her. In one amusing incident for Grace, a mass of Humans gathered beneath her pyramid throne to hear her speak. A mixed crowd, the people were from all walks of life, some Gay men, some Amazonians, as a well as quite a few Straights. Of course Grace was displeased with the actions of the Straights, and she decided to use this opportunity to teach them a powerful lesson. As Gay men are always in silent communication with Grace, they were forwarned about the event and they spread the knowledge to their Amazonian sisters. Grace began to sing and her voice filled the world with a shiny black cloud. As she approached the line "men dying in their thousands," she raised her mighty hand and waved it over the crowd. With it went the Angel of Death to all Straight men in the audience. As they dropped like so many men before who had seen the face of Grace, a roar of praise echoed from below in reverance to Grace. And she was pleased. And thus the Angel of Death "passed over" the chosen people. "Childlike mortals," she boomed, "continue to do my bidding and you will live forever!" As she vanished in a gray-green aura of light, her laughter was heard and chilled the bones of the Straights within the 3,000-mile radius of her voice.

Chapter Five: When Grace Met Gayos

While playing with her planets one day, Grace noticed a tug in the space-time that she occupies. She turned her massive head just in time to see a bright flash of black light and the appearance of Gayos, her physically male counterpart. Grace smiled as she silently approved of Gayos and allowed him to exist. Gayos is the physical manifestation all all things Gay. Standing 80 feet tall on Earth, he resembles an African prince with a long hunting spear and attitude. And Grace willed gayos to be the Earthly prince of her chosen people. Gayos, not wanting to incur Grace's wrath, happily agreed and is now secretly worshipped as a demi-god to Grace by all Gay men. Gayos also manifests himself in the forms of Bungquicha, Shaniqua, Shenehneh, and Laquita.

Chapter Six: The Origin of Grace's Outfits in
A View To A Kill

Grace decided after many millenia to give the gift of technology to her children, the Gay men, and so the entertainment industry was born. Later, the Gay men and Amazonians allowed some Straights to work in the industry, but not many. As Grace exists at all points in space-time simultaneously, she thought she might pop into 1985 and allow the masses to view her using this new medium, motion pictures. Grace appeared before several moviemakers and informed them that she would be featured in their new James Bond movie, A View To A Kill. An immediate problem was the primitive cameras being used. The filmmakers were unable to contain Grace's pure energy on film. Grace gave them the knowledge of advanced lens necessary for the task and work began. The second and much more grave dillemma occurred when the costume designer tried to fit Grace with clothing. It seemed that any normal Human clothing would disinegrate upon touching Grace's radiant body. Although grace was content to perform naked, she knew that no normal Human could look at her magnificence and survive for more than four seconds. Grace found a simple solution: she propelled herself into the 25th century and used an alien cloth to form her tailored garments. The special clothes also had the ability to change their appearance at Grace's will. With proper attire, Grace allowed the film to be completed and she was happy.

Chapter Seven: How Grace Saved the Earth From Interdimensional Beings

As Grace relaxed in the molten lava of one of her volcanoes one evening, she noticed something stirring on the far side of Pluto. Naturally, as Grace hates to be bothered with trivial problems, she chose to send an Amazonian to gather information. Unfortunately, after flinging the woman into the far reaches of the solar system, Grace remembered that mortal humans cannot survive being expelled through the atmosphere, let alone exist in outer space. This caused her to arise from her slumber and will herself to Pluto in order to examine the situation herself. As she arrived in a brilliant blinding flash of light, she saw the thing that had caught her attention. A lone comet was passing by the planet in a firey freefall. In her infinite wisdom, Grace noticed the comet seemed to be vectoring toward Earth. Now, as Grace is creator and master of the universe, she knew this object was foreign, so she outstretched a fingernail and cracked the icy rock in two. At once, the true nature of the comet was clear. A small black space vehicle emerged and began to accelerate past Grace. Obviously, the craft must have come from another dimension since Grace had been unaware of its presence. She smiled as she watched the toy try to flee. In another instance, she would have thought the whole situation humorous, but this was a direct threat to her favorite plaything, Earth. As soon as she saw the alien ship, she was aware of the beings' plan to violate the Gay men and Amazonians and rob Earth of its precious Graceian resourrces. She opened her mighty jaw and spewed forth the word "CEASE" The force of her voice actually caused an uncharted planet in the M4 system to implode, but she found this fact inconsequential. The ship was frozen in space as Grace reached out and plucked it from its course. She held it in her palm and raised it to her eye to peer inside. The creatures inside looked into Grace's magnificent eye and felt a mixture of absolute fear and tranquility before their existence was reversed into nothingness. Grace smiled and returned to Earth to inform Gayos and the Gay men of the incident.

Chapter Eight: The Emergence of Iman

The all-knowing Grace recognized a slight problem one evening. Her Gay men were not multiplying at an acceptable rate. In fact, it seemed that it always took Grace's intervention to create a new member of the elite class. She decided to promote the population growth by coercing some of the Straights to join the ranks of her children. She needed to show the unholy demons the light. Thus, Iman was born from a lock of Grace's cosmic hair. Grace's new daughter new her mission well; her beauty, surpassed only by Grace's, would lure the Straights into a sexual frenzy. The loins of the demi-goddess Iman became well known throughout Grace's empire. Strangely, the Straights which sought to conquer the mountainous Iman were never heard from again. Time after time, a brave demon would leave his village to sow his fiery oats with Iman, but none ever returned. Until one day, a bloody and weakened Straight collapsed in the arms of his townsmen. All that came from his blackened lips was an unending prophecy: "The woman's house of love...do not enter...beware the orifice of pleasure..." Wisely, many Straights that day learned of the beauty of their own sex. Grace looked down at her people and was pleased as the Gay men's numbers began to rapidly increase.