I
enjoyed many good times with jeff as my slave.
The first three years were full of them.
The last two, not so much. The
difference? I had jeff move in next door
with my other slave, bobby. The next two
years that they lived together were problematic. The short version is that jeff was not a good
roommate. This caused stress for the
entire family. I issued achievable
orders around the problems that were coming up.
They were these:
1. Synchronize to my schedule.
This would make my slave more available to me, and also diminish the roommate
problem of jeff being up all hours of the night.
Ultimately, jeff remained up all hours of the night and frequently did not get
up before noon.
2. Keep the slavequarters clean and thin at least 1 paper
a day.
This would diminish the roommate problem of jeff’s messiness.
Ultimately, the prime improvement here came when I used slave funds to hire a
biweekly maid.
Essentially no thinning was done.
3. Strive to save money.
The workable budget I made had potential savings of $1,000/month; essential at
this near-retirement age.
Ultimately, jeff saved $100 in a 13-month period.
4. Drop part of the 25-pound weight gain from the
2004-2005 holidays for health and appearance; 1 pound a month. Related, eat less & better.
Three years later he weighed 2 pounds more.
5. Bond better with Tom.
(This is part of Officer Wes'
protocol for His slave)
jeff did do things for Tom, and Tom made opportunities and time for jeff.
But jeff also got on Tom’s nerves, particularly about inaction on the
four orders above.
Ultimately, when I asked Tom in one of our periodic reviews “If you could
arrange your life however you wanted in relation to jeff, how would you arrange
it?”
“he’d be gone.”
I uncollared jeff July 13, 2008 because it was
apparent to me that things were not going to change.
In a wrap-up talk, jeff stated “When you told me
what you wanted and that I wasn’t accomplishing it, I shut down. I needed a Master who would get inside my
head and figure out why I
wasn’t performing. It is only in
these few days since the uncollaring that I have this clarity.” I expressed frustration that he’d not
been able to communicate this in our daily conversations or any of the 100+
weekly reports on “ANYTHING Master needs to know”.
From my vantage point, I gave
Jeff clear, achievable goals, ample resources of money and time, and he did not
perform in these five areas. As one
friend said “That is passive resistance in a slave who ‘lives to
serve’.” For me, to continue
further would simply be enabling a relationship that was no longer working for
either party.
Below are fonder
remembrances.
·
lovable
·
loving
·
caring
·
arousing
·
selfless / of
service
·
smart
·
grounded
·
willing
·
open-minded
·
non-attached
·
honest
·
the story of our
meeting, where he felt a need to meet me after reading about a presentation
I’d done
·
jeff’s
initial wonderment of being taken, pinning him to the bed
·
taking American
Sign Language class together Spring 2004
·
collaring
2/4/2004
·
our first South
Plains together 2/2004
·
jeff’s
Nicky Awards nomination 2004
·
wearing uniforms
together to the Nicky Awards May 4, 2004
·
the intimate
evening seeing k.d. lang in concert, fourth-row center tickets August 2004
·
stunning polished
boots
·
jeff washing My
Harley at the place before he moved next door
·
jeff’s
wonderful introspection “i'm ready for more surrender” 9/2004
·
marking My slave
with a Prince Albert
·
locking the
collar around his hospital bed so it would be there when he came out of surgery
for his first elbow MRSA incident 3/2005
·
Tom's art opening
at David's 8/16/2005
·
our sweet
30-minute talks alone
·
playing Uncle
Wesley at DisneyWorld 10/2005
·
the Mohawk jeff
surprised me with in response to an off-handed comment “you’d look
cute in one of those”
·
motorcycle rides
·
hook pull in San
Diego 1/7/2006
·
jeff's calm
presence
·
jeff's ability to
arouse me
·
Nearly 5 years of
devoted service, fun, excitement, love +Leather learning
o
I was his
confidant
o
gaining immediate
& extended Leather family
o
boot care
knowledge
o
electrical
o
clothespins
o
needles
o
mummification
o
hook pulls
o
boots to the nuts
o
hood
o
flogging
o
piss, etc.
o
motorcycle rides
o
presentations
(more further below)
·
Unburdened
o
Storage garage
6/2005
o
Credit debt
11/15/2005
o
IRS debt 2005
o
the fog of
Sustiva
·
Seen through
crises
o
him totalling the
VW Jetta ~2004 and the search for a new car
o
the elbow MRSA
3/2005
o
bringing him to
Dr. Torres in Mexico for a cracked tooth supporting a bridge ~5/2005
o
taking him to the
emergency room after a prostate biopsy made him unable to piss – 1.6
liters came out 8/2005
o
his double pelvis
fracture 8/2007+
I told him we’d allocate whatever resources he’d need, but that I
did not have the energy to be a primary caregiver. I could have done a better job of overseeing
that things got done, as he did not call in the help that he truly needed.
o
the elbow MRSA
~2008
o
shepherding him
through a Mexican dental trip during his tooth abscess 6/2008
·
Nearly 5 years of
devoted service and love
o
jeff striving to
be mindfully present with a loving heart
o
jeff was my
confidant
o
jeff assisted
with all these presentations:
§
Leather 101
presentation for Club X, November 8, 2007
§
Leather 101
presentation for The Leather Realm at San Diego Lesbian Gay Bisexual
Transgender Pride, July 21, 2007
§
Officer Wes,
Steve "The Hook", Doug "Crazy Eye" & slave jeff present
on Leather and Spirituality for the San Diego League of Gentlemen, May 4, 2007
§
Power Play: High
End Electrical at SouthPlains Leatherfest - International Master/slave Weekend,
February 23-25, 2007
§
"Back to
Basics: Electrical" for Club X, August 9, 2006
§
Leather 101
presentation for The Leather Realm at San Diego Lesbian Gay Bisexual
Transgender Pride, July 29, 2006
§
Officer Wes and
slave jeff receive an excellence in presentation award May 6, 2006, from the
Pain Guild for the Things That Pinch presentation the previous summer
§
SM102 presentation
for the Club X Mental Health Forum designed to nurture some Kink Aware
Professionals locally, April 28, 2006. This presentation focussed on the why of
leather (authenticity, surrender, bliss); and also issues that therapists might
see in their clinical practice. slave jeff also sat on the submissives' panel.
§
Master/slave
& Daddy/boy relationships presentation for the Pain Guild, August 31, 2005
§
Leather 101
presentation for The Leather Realm at San Diego Lesbian Gay Bisexual
Transgender Pride, July 30, 2005
§
An experiential
evening of "High-End Electrical: Integrating Sight, Sound &
Sensation" for Club X, July 14, 2005
§
Things That Pinch
presentation for the Pain Guild, July 6, 2005
§
Two electrical
presentations for the San Diego League of Gentlemen: one was a special
presentation on high-end electrical work integrating sight & sound with
sensation; a second was on the erotic use of violet wands, both in 2004
§
Leather 101
presentation for The Leather Realm at San Diego Lesbian Gay Bisexual
Transgender Pride, July 31, 2004
o
jeff shined My
boots beautifully when directed
o
jeff shined My
Harley when directed
o
jeff serviced My
leathers when directed
o
jeff gave our
four-legged pup, Opa, sweet playtime
o
jeff did our
biweekly Costco shopping
·
I learned sign
language with jeff
·
Seen through
crises
o
My EpZiCom
allergy / sleep deprivation – summer 2006
o
The suicide of a
previous slave, boy tim -- August 16, 2006
o
Tom's health
weirdness December 2007 – May 2008 (blurred vision, vertigo/dizziness, hearing
challenge in good left ear)