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hello group, i've been on the outside rim looking in for a while reading the first 600 or so posts. I'm intrigued,not about our gifts but by the vast number of special beings, I thought I was alone. My name is michael, i'm 42 (12-3-63) if your into number reading it comes out to a "3". I'm a sagittarian,philosipher/traveler/clown. ";^) empath,seer,visionary, numerologist, chaneller of joshua and jeshua ben joseph. soul family of AA Michael. My father was drill sergeant, my mother was nun. She broke here vows to marry my father, so you can imagine the discipline in my home as the only son. I was born a "blue baby" with jaundice, lack of Oxygen in my blood. So you can say it was preordained or just a coincidence that my colors are blue and violet with yellow. I underwent a total blood transfusion at birth... my visions of sitting by a well looking in, I believe I came to this relative experience to early and my mother wasn't ready for me. I had a very strick upbringing to say the least, however as my 2 sisters made there holy commuion, I was destined to be denied the catholic church (thank heaven). I grew up with a passion to know, I had to find God. It was I see now ordained from above, the fire, the house of philosophy, the disciplined youth, a path to 'mastery'. All in ONE a drill sergeant,nun and sagittarian spirit, my triune being.. michael. Within my experiences as a small boy was a swimming accident. I fell victim to my own unknowing, as I was pulled away from the shore line with my cousins on a air raft, our grandmother enjoying our time together at white crystal beach. Not wanting to go out any further, I chose to let go feeling I wasn't that far from the shore. At my size, at that time in my life there was no bottom and I went down. My eyes wide, seeing the sunrays coming through the water I came up and went down again grasping for nothing. As I came up again I was looking at my cousin billy jumping out of a yellow rubber raft. Next to realize I was looking down on everyone gathered around "myself" laying on the shore with a towel over me and also realizing I was still rising and my right arm was infront of me, only it was a lavender wisp.... next I was coughing and spitting up water and being hugged emensley by my mother. Within that experience, I know there is no pain in leaving and that there is much more to this thing called "life". It was not my choice to have the experience, it was the divine plan to help me realize my place and give solid faith in my truth of who and what I am. From that time to the age 13 there where many bright times and many times of pure terror, family christmas to tornadoes, fires, accidents on bikes, beds sliding around during earthquakes,abuse/beatings... many times I reached to my soul for protection and disassociated my self from the events. Also finding that I was a creative force and felt some how different like I was living in the wrong time. I was denied my religious contact through the church, I remember my mother telling me on bended knee as she put a finger into my chest, "If you want to find god you have to look inside", "the church is all about money and how you dress" its not about god anymore. That coming from a nun and my mother was a powerful thing to behold. After that I started getting conscious of who I may be, I was a silly happy, imaginative little guy who loved everyone and the desire to know the father. Through my path I have always tried to keep out of my mind, I studied all the books on positive powers and changing how I thought about things, consciously ridding myself of the brain washing of society. I've read MOST of the authors, N.v.Peale, Carnnigee, all the way up to Now... CWG*,by N.D.Walsh. They are all conscious masters of there own accord and I thank them for getting me here to take my next steps. To decide and declare that which I am in "truth".... to you and my father, that which is the heavens and earth, the all of creation. I have chosen that road also, to be a "master" in truth love and oneness with the "all that is",on every level of consciousness. Now I am grateful for the guidance, and hope that there is a being of light in my midst to help with my next steps.... for I have taken many through this dark forest and have truely seen the terror the human race can bestow on a unconditional loving soul, ME. I have been emotionally disabled by doctors for : suffer from post traumatic stress disorder agoraphobic: fear of being in public constantly under verbal abuse by society at large when in public. adhd & OCD among a few of the "D" words... 16 years of AA and still undergoing repairs .... have had seven surgeries the latest two were repairs to my spine. (view an actual x-ray here) I will post all of my past traumatic happenings on a website I am building along with my future plans. I know this lengthy, its just a bit, there is so much more... my out of body times, visions, lucid dreams (which i remember every single one) I have a 3.8 avg at goldey beacom college for office technologies, I am very aware and operate souly on a very high esoteric and very highly motivated intellectual levels. I would prefer not to be of anything other than whats love and truth... if necassary I will not deny the fight in order to defend them. In the lord of the rings, the lady of the wood tells frodo, "even the smallest being can change the course of history" well it hit me, I am only 5'4 truly alittle dude with a big message now i will start to deliver it. to look within and face the truth is the greatest challenge of men. Blessings from me and my father for all of you who speak "your" truth. thank you all for being here and giving me strength. lttldude |