A WILD, WONDERFUL YEAR

Since I started the webpage, I've had, as the title says, a wild, wonderful year. I originated the page in its current form in early 1997 to put some of my ideas out there on the Internet and to also share my coming out experiences. This was to let other people know that they weren't alone; that there were others just like them. Needless to say, I've gotten many comments about how others have found themselves in my experiences. Of course, doing this also runs some risks, as I experienced by being forced to come out to my family sooner than I had wanted and in a different fashion. You can find out that information on my coming out page. (If you go there from here, press the BACK button to return here.) I'm not going to go into it here.

At the time the page was written, I had been single for a while. My last relationship had ended in 1996 and I was ready to start settling down some. I'm not sure why I started feeling this way, but I suspect that it may have been the approach of my 30th birthday. I was all ready to celebrate it with my AOL friend Rob from Chicago, whom I visited for AOL, but he died suddenly of an illness. It was a bit of a blow.

In the meantime, I had struck up a conversation with a gentleman in Seattle. The conversation originally started talking about weightlifting and wrestling, but quickly moved into other topics. We found that we had the same taste in movies, books, and food. He even liked watching the same sports I did, which is amazing to me. The other funny thing is taht he also went by a nickname, Jim, the same as mine. Quite a bit of irony for me. We chatted for some time and then set up a visit for him to come to Baltimore for Labor Day. However, just before he would be leaving to go to the airport, he went in the hospital with pneumonia. I was wondering what had happened to him and found out a few days after what had happened. We chatted on the phone and to cheer him up I sent him some books from my library. We also decided at that point to plan a trip for me to come out to Seattle over Columbus Day weekend.

When Columbus Day weekend came, I was quite excited. We had talked almost daily at this point. Our chats were the highlight of my day. When I finally got to Seattle, Jim was nowhere to be found. I thought that I might have been stood up, but no, he was just late, something that would happen again. We had a great weekend together, even though Jim hadn't fully recovered from the pneumonia. I went back home with a bit of a new outlook on life and a planned trip back to Seattle for New Year's.

Upon getting back, I found out that my job responsibilities had changed. I would be doing a lot of traveling back and forth to Eastern Arkansas to cover some processing we were running down there. On my first visit, it was a bit of a culture shock. I had lived in the South before, but never in an area where it was so poor. I was told that the county to which I would be traveling through May 1998 was the poorest one in the country. Upon being there longer, I could see so.

Jim and I continued to chat online and on the phone. Somehow, I knew that this friendship was starting to grow deeper. I was intending on spending Christmas 1998 in New York City. However, when I got ready to leave and saw that the traffic was already backed up heading north, I decided that I wasn't really in the mood to go. I knew Jim would be alone for Christmas out in Seattle and was a bit depressed about it. When I got home, I remembered that the airlines were having a special deal for flying out Christmas Eve and flying back Christmas Day. I called the airlines and got a ticket which would have me leaving Baltimore in about three hours and returning on a red-eye the next day. I called Jim and told him that he had to go to the airport to pickup his Christmas gift from me.. which was me. He was excited. We spent a great day together and I really hated leaving. But knowing that I would be back in a week was consolation.

The New Year's trip was great. We had a nice time New Year's Eve and spent a lot of time together talking, laughing, and just having a great old time. We explored the Seattle area some more. We also talked about his coming out to Baltimore for a visit and decided that he should do it over Valentine's Day weekend. It appeared to me more and more that this was heading towards a relationship. I wasn't sure I wanted a long distance one again, but I'd see where things turned.

Shortly after this, I began the traveling for work. I wasn't headed to the most exciting area in the world but I'd make do. I also started talking to Jim on the phone nearly every other day. Those chats helped pull me through some of the most boring times in my life. I really looked forward to his trip with anticipation, with the exception that I had to fly out on the same day a few hours earlier than he.

The trip came and we had a great time. Since he had never been to the East Coast before, I tried to show Jim as much of the area as I could. We took a day trip to Washington, DC and saw some museums and went to dinner at my favorite restaurant. All in all we had a fantastic time. It was also at this point that we really decided that we wanted to make something out of this. Our friendship had truly moved into a relationship. However, the distance was a problem. We talked about how we were going to make it work and tried to work out a solution. This solution would involve us moving together, but the question was Seattle or Baltimore. By the time of his departure, we had pretty much figured it would be Baltimore since I don't have the type of job where I can move around easily.

The fact that we decided Jim would move to Baltimore became all the more definite when he got back to Seattle. A few days after his return, he found out that the office he was working in would be closed and all the personnel there would be laid off. Now, the decision was easy, it was the timing that needed to be worked out. Not only from when would he be laid off, but with all my travel, when would I be available to help him move. Since they didn't give a definite time, we decided that the end of May would work out perfectly. The weather wouldn't be too bad and my obligations in Arkansas would be nearly complete.

I flew out to Seattle on May 28th. On May 29th, we left Seattle, late as it would turn out, for Baltimore. It was a long trip with a 15' Ryder truck and car carrier. The trip took much longer than we thought it would because I had underestimated the maximum speed we could go. Very long days were the norm for the trip. However, we had plenty of time to talk things over and work out any potential problems. We also got an incidental test of the relationship. If you and a potential loved one can survive a three day trip moving across country without getting into a major argument, it bodes well for the relationship. Well, we made it with only one instance of testiness and the lateness of the hour could excuse that one.

Jim's been in Baltimore over three months now. He hasn't found permanent employment but is temping through an agency and making out all right. He's had a bit of a tough time adjusting to the climate, but by now I think he's got it. We've done well together. It's great taking him around places and seeing his reactions to things I've just taken for granted. It's made me take a look at the same things in a whole new light.

Of course, life couldn't be without its twists and turns. At this point, I'm not real happy in my job especially since I'm scheduled to go back and forth to Arkansas again. Things are also not moving in a positive direction with my current employer. I wasn't intentionally looking to leave, but a great position with another company has fallen into my lap. The unfortunate thing is that it isn't in the Baltimore area, but Myrtle Beach, South Carolina instead. I've interviewed for the position and am the number one candidate, but they're having trouble finding enough qualified candidates to interview. I think this basically means the job is mine. However, I'm just awaiting official notification. It will just be another adventure for us. Jim's also looking forward to it since it means living at the beach....

I will be updating this page once I have more of an idea of what will happen....

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This page created on: 09/15/98