COMING OUT TO FAMILY

1997 proved itself to be an interesting year as far as coming out to my family was concerned. You might have heard the saying, "The best laid plans of mice and men....". Well, my plans for coming out to my family were certainly laid to waste this year. I was forced to come out to my family sooner than I had intended due to the actions of an unkown party.

In late June, someone sent the address of my homepage to my parents in an attempt to "out" me. I found this out later, but when there was no reaction from me about this, the same person then decided to print off the pages which were on this Homepage and send them to my parents. It wasn't likely that my mother would pull up the homepage on her own since she's not really computer literate, however, she was the one that received the printouts. After taking alook at them, she decided not to show them to my father. Upon making an innocent biweekly call to my folks, I found out that the pages had been sent, upsetting my mother that someone would be so vindictive and petty to do something like this. However, the fact that I'm homosexual didn't phase her one bit. She doesn't understand it, but I'm her son and she loves me anyway. This is exactly the response I expected from her. I did ask her not to tell my father. That was something I wanted to do myself. I did promise her that I would do it quickly.

Coming out to my father was a difficult thing. I wasn't sure how he'd take the news. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to call, talk to him in person, or write a letter. I bounced around through these options several times before finally making a decision. He was going to be told when I went home for Thanksgiving. Upon gettting home, the perfect opportunity presented itself. He was going to need help replacing a hot water heater which would give us time alone for us to talk. However, while replacing the hot water heater, I discovered that it really wasn't the right time. We were getting along too well for me to spoil such a good time with news that might be tough for him to take. When I returned home, I finished a letter that I had started, had a friend look it over, and sent it off. The following Saturday, I was awaken by the ringing of the telephone. It was my father who had finished reading the letter, briefly chatted with my mother then called me. We talked for a good while, but it wasn't easy. He still loves me as his son, but homosexuality goes against everything he believes in. He's doing some soul searching right now and I'm sure he'll come around. In the meantime, I'll do anything I can to help him.

On the other hand, coming out to my two brothers couldn't have been easier. For one, they had pretty much figured it all out a while ago for one reason or another. In fact, my youngest brother's fiancee has been one of my biggest supporters over the past month or two. She's shown maturity above and beyond her physical age of 21. It's nice to know that a family member will be there for you when you need to talk.

Coming Out

This page last updated on: 03/12/98