So you want to know what I like in a man? If your name is Ian and you've got this vein in your head that throbs when you're feeling passionate about something, you're what I like in a man. If you're not him, how did you get here? And would you be as honest Ian was and tell me? But back to the qualities in Ian that ended up in me moving seven times zones away:

• He's out to his family, friends and co-workers. Being gay is no big deal to him, nad it's just one part of who he is.
• He's romantic, but can also be aggressive. He's able to be gentle and also a little rough, and can appreciate those qualities in me.
• He enjoys sex, but it doesn't rule his life.
• He's lived long enough to know the difference between sex and intimacy and has probably written an article or two on the legal ramifications of each, depending on country of residence, with primary authorities interviewed and cited.
• He works like a duracell bunny on speed, and likes and takes pride in what he does, but he's defined by his heart as well as by his mind and job.
• And yes, he's maybe just a little geeky at times. (But if you think that's a bad thing, see the above statement about the vein in his head that throbs. It's incredibly sexy - moreso because he doesn't see why.)
• He's strong enough to be kind.
• He's able to forgive.
• Although he knows that people and life can sometimes hurt him, he accepts this as the price one pays for living and is willing to take incredible chances, understanding that only through risk are great gains possible.
• He's honest.
• He thinks it's a bad idea to go to bed angry with someone you love.
• And more days than not, he believes in the power of love.
• And you're wondering why I fell in love with this guy?