Methods of Executions



There are still countries where executions are still bloody. Let's take a look at the death row options, starting from those based on religion.
 

Look Ma, No Head!
Beheading does not belong strictly to Islam. However, Islam is the only institutionalized religion where strict adherence to the Syariah law would mean a guy or two would lose their heads over this. The Western version of this is the guillotine. The argument for this method of execution is that it would be over in a flash and therefore, more humane. Of course, our point of reference to this is the pain we would have experience if somebody had chopped off our fingers or feet; while we most likely would survive the loss of the limbs, for a few months we'd be in pain. I've actually seen a video of a married Bedouin man beheaded for fucking another woman. While it is true that it is very bloody and gory, a headless human being could not run off mindlessly like a headless chicken could.
 

In A Million Years, I'll Be Fuel.

Being buried alive is a surprising find and apparently practiced by the Taliban government to punish gays and rapists. Maybe they came up with this execution because they don't have swords and ran out of thick ropes. Who knows? Regardless, the idea is you die from either being crushed by the massive weight of the sand and boulders, or you die from the suffocation. There is a loophole here. If you were executed this way but you survived, you could walk away free with no further punishment. I bet some of those fornicators in Saudi Arabia had cursed themselves for not going to Afghanistan for that bonk. At the very least, they could've had a small chance. One wonders if Afghanistan would be fertile if they keep this up. Compost made out of real humans!.
 

I'm So Stoned...

Stoning is also not exclusive to Islam. Judaism and Christianity also have it in their Bibles and Torrah which lead to the phrase, "Cast the first stone..," and not "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones," though the latter one originated from the former. You would most likely die from internal bleeding unless through some miracle a great pitcher came to your execution and cast one right smack into your skull. This method of punishment could be bloody and is a great example of what "all for one and one for all" is really all about.
 

Like My New Tie?

One of the first modern method perhaps of killing people, hanging is seen as less bloody though no less dramatic way of execution. Imagine hanging a poor jerk with no upper limbs and he manages to escape! You die from your neck being dislocated, like somebody snap it into two, or you die from being vertically strangled. It is true that some people have managed to escape dying this way by surviving, somehow, the tight rope around their necks. That's why in certain countries, you're given a "hanged to death" sentence. I remember in English classes where you are taught that bad men are never 'hung' to death. Rather, they are 'hanged.' For the dead hung hanged men, I don't think those English lessons matter much now.
 

I Have This Thing Against Needles.

People think that lethal injection consists of just a single dose of a lethal liquid. It actually consists of three different chemicals, given at timed intervals. One is to soothe you down, one is to stop your heart and the last one, well, I don't know what the last one does. I didn't get to see this on that beheading video but I thought Tim Robbins captured it right in Dead Man Walking. Lethal injection is not bloody nor gory. It's just dramatic when the death row inmate struggles to will the chemical out of his body. They've thought of everything though. A hard-core heroin user with no usable veins will be executed this way by cutting a vein and keeping that vein open for intravenous feed of the poison.
 

Is That Almond I Smell?

To be gassed means to be strapped in the gas chamber and you're forced to inhale cyanide gas, made from cyanide pellets and hydrochloric acid. Like lethal injection, they insist that it is more humane since cyanide basically deprives you of oxygen, that is you die because you can't have air. And like lethal injection, it is clean and dramatic way to die as the death row inmate refrains from breathing. It is also quite mystical. I mean, you're making your exit with a smokescreen. You don't disappear but at least you're way long gone.
 

This Chair Doesn't Go With Anything I Have!

Who doesn't know about the electric chair? Well if you don't, just drop a hairdryer while you're taking a shower. And make sure that it's connected and turned on! (dimwit!) I'm not sure how you die with this method. Maybe your internal organs gets cooked like your brains and heart. Maybe it disrupts or totally stop your heartbeat. On occasions though, the eyes might pop out of the skull which is why The Green Mile might not be that accurate. I've seen this on the same video as the beheaded Bedouin and you do go up in smoke, but less than that of the gas chamber. I mean, you can't have it all can you?
 

Just Shoot Me!
I thought only China and Russia practice this, but apparently execution by firing squad is also practiced in Utah and Idaho. I am not sure if the proponents of this method would really claim that it's more humane this way. I mean, what if they miss the head or the heart? You'd bleed to death. Of course, if they missed altogether then it's a different kind of torture. This is bloody and dramatic, and the argument for it is just full of holes.
 
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