Eight Ways to Do It Well
Remember Goofus and Gallant, those grade-school paradigms of gaucheness and suaveness? Well, we've got Don Juan and Don Bother as in, "Hey, guy, if you're going to act like that, Don even Bother." We asked a sex therapist to tell us how these guys would act in various situations. Can you match the behavior with the right Don?1. Jackhammer sex, ready on demand.
Occasionally says, "Not tonight, dear . . ."
[ANSWER: Our expert says that Don Juan knows his moods might influence his arousal, and he can go with the flow. Don Bother gets so obsessed with always performing that he may eventually find he can't.]2. Long-lasting, each time, every time.
Sometimes a great quickie.
[Our expert says Don Juan appreciates different strokes. "Most women are not looking for endurance champions; they prefer to go up and down in excitement."]3. Instant arousal.
Slow on the go.
["Many men need time to relax before getting an erection," our expert says. "Don't rush it."]4. Prevents premature ejaculation by thinking about baseball players.
Stops moving, stops thrusting, stops breathing.
[Our expert says Don Bother can think about anything he wants; willpower alone will not prevent premature ejaculation. Instead, be like Don Juan: Hold still and wait for the sensation of imminent ejaculation to pass. Repeat as necessary.]5. Familiarity is the death of desire; variety is the spice of life.
One steady partner can make for hot sex.
[Variety may be okay for Don Bother, but "Most men are looking for a partner who's warm, loving and caring," says our pro. "The more you love and trust, the better your sex will be."]6. The hard way or no way.
Soft times can be good times, too.
[Don Bother may be taking himself out of the running. Masters and Johnson say that a man may lose his peak erection as many as four times during sex. "The notion that you have to be completely hard all the time during intercourse is just plain false," our expert tells us.]7. I'm ready, I need it now.
I'm ready, but I can wait.
[Guess what? Don Bother needs an outlet every time he gets hard. But Don Juan follows his heart not his . . . well, you know.]8. She can't have an orgasm during intercourse; she needs professional help.
She can't have an orgasm during intercourse; maybe I can help. [Don Bother thinks his partner has to climax during the act. Don Juan knows that more than half of all women may need other types of stimulation in order to climax.]