My
definitions of sexual orientation.............
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WHAT
IS A HETEROSEXUAL?
Most people would agree that God made them heterosexual, and that it’s
God’s original intention that all people would be heterosexual.
Therefore if I asked a Christian married man who loved his wife and
family if he was heterosexual, the answer would be a resounding “Yes!”
In some married relationships sex can include masturbation, oral sex or
anal intercourse. These are heterosexual acts..
What about a single man who has a girlfriend and is still a virgin and
aims to remain that way until he is married. He has never had sex, but
he is still heterosexual.
Now, what about a young man who makes it a habit of sleeping with a
different woman virtually every weekend? He is also heterosexual and so
is she. And they are also sexually promiscuous, which is not the model
for a Christian person.
How about a married man who goes on an extended business trip? He feels
lonely and misses his wife. One of his colleagues tells him about a
discreet prostitute who he has visited. An appointment is made and he
goes along and enjoys a night with the prostitute. He is heterosexual
and the prostitute is too. But he has committed adultery and has
cheated on his wife and family. Again, not the model for a Christian
person.
A man who is attracted to women and while in prison or some other
male-only environment, or a man who wants to humiliate or degrade
another man, sodomizes another man is still a heterosexual.
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WHAT
IS A HOMOSEXUAL?
A man who has sex with a number of other men is homosexual. He is also
sexually promiscuous. Not a good model for a Christian person. If this
man only does oral sex and mutual masturbation, but does not do anal
intercourse. He is still homosexual.
A man who has never had sex before and has decided to be celibate, yet
is attracted to other men, is also homosexual (sometimes referred to as
a “non-practising” homosexual.)
Two men who enter a loving committed relationship and decide not to
have sex, are still homosexuals.
Two men who enter a loving monogomous relation which include sex are
homosexuals.
Not all homosexuals
- like to cross-dress
- are effiminate
- are interior decorators
- like anal intercourse
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I am an English
speaking person. When I speak English I use words that are listed and
defined in an English dictionary. This is my basic, simple
understanding of these words::
Heterosexual
- a person who is attracted exclusively to aa person of the opposite sex.
Homosexual - a person who is attracted exclusively to people of the
same sex.
Bisexual - a person who is attracted to people of both sexes.
Transexual - a person wants to be the opposite to the sex he is born. |
There is so much confusion in people’s minds as to what a homosexual
is. Sometimes it seems as if homosexual = sodomy. I had some anal
intercourse when I was young, but I have never done it since and
actually have an aversion for anal intercourse. But I am still
homosexual. Often Christians think that Sodom was filled with
homosexuals, simply because all the men in the city wanted to humiliate
the visitors to their city by raping them ( a common custom for some
cultures.)
Homosexuals never choose to be homosexual! Ah! But what about all the
homosexuals who have changed into happily married heterosexuals? Many
through the ex-gay ministries. On a tape from Focus on the Family I
listened to a psychiatrist who specialized in straightening out gay
people. He said that he had a 78% success rate. But what about the 22%
who didn’t make it. Were they failures? Was their faith too small?
Perhaps they didn’t want to change in the first place? Perhaps Satan
has them too tightly in his grip?
Here’s the problem. I have asked people in the ex-gay movement about
bisexuals and they immediately say there is no such thing. One ex-gay
minister even told me that he firmly believes that everybody is
heterosexual and that some people have homosexual tendencies. He later
went on to tell me that although he is now happily married and has a
loving wife and family (and I do not doubt that at all) he still is
attracted by some women and men and has to fight those temptations as
any other Christian would. When I look at the dictionary I see that a
person who is attracted to both sexes he is a bisexual. Thus the ex-gay
minister, using the English language, is bisexual.
I am not anti gay-ministries. I just wish they would get real and
face the real world. My message to Christians who think they might be
gay is to seek some proper advice. If you have any interest in the
opposite sex, then explore that with all your effort. But if you fail,
it’s not a train smash. Find out what God wants of you for your life
and relationships. He might call you to celibacy!!! And if He does, He
will make it clear to you and give you the power to be celibate. But if
you do find somebody you love deeply, there is the option of a loving,
committed, loyal, monogamous relationship. The one advice I do give to
a Christian; find a partner who is also a Christian!
A bisexual person is in the (enviable?) position of being able to
choose what direction he will follow. If I was also attracted to women,
I would, especially as a Christian, rather look for a woman to love, to
get married, have children and grand-children and live happily ever
after. Once I desperately tried to arouse a sexual interest in women
and tried hard to love a girl that loved me very much. But it just
didn’t work. Why on earth turn down such a wonderful blessing?
The ex-gay minister was able to make a choice and I think that’s great.
But he’s not really ex-gay. Even though he was in the gay community and
was the editor of a gay newsletter and probably had same-sex
relationships, he wasn’t an exclusive homosexual. He was bisexual.
There are a lot of bisexual people in the gay community. That’s their
choice. There are many bisexual people who are leading heterosexual
lives and although they might still be attracted to people of their own
sex.
The point I am making is that most of the 78% successes for the
psychiatrist in straightening gays, and the successes of ex-gay
ministries, are bisexual people. But you can’t argue this with them
because they do not believe that there is bisexuality. Some may have
been almost exclusively gay and really battled. I guess there are also
exclusively homosexual people who have just bitten the bullet and
trying everything in their power to live a false life. But I have met
the ex-ex-gays who have been the failures. Some who can never face
going back to Church again and are totally disillusioned with
Christians and their unconditional love.
As a Christian the most important thing for me is to find out what the
will of God is for me in my own life, and to encourage others to do the
same. I cannot dictate what God's will is for another person. I also
try and listen to others and their personal experiences and always be
ready to learn something new. As one minister advised me: ultimately it
is between me and my Lord!
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