BINGE
(a combination of the two)

Came home from school,
felt so bad
my girlfriend dumped me
my dog died
my parents hate me
failed my classes.
I feel like junk.
Want something to ease the pain.

Went to the fridge-grabbed some wine
mom used for cooking last night.
Most of it's left, I take a swig
Bitter taste runs down to my maw
it feels better.
I've never drunk before.

Stumble to my room
Parents aren't home.
Holding the bottle
slosh it over my shirt
I could care less
I feel bad again.
Drink some more.

It's not working.
I still feel bad.
I guess at what could make my mind ease.
I turn on some music, heavy metal. Only
Twists me up more as I seek solace,
But I don't have any other music, weepy crap.

I have not done this before, but...
I take a marker and some whiteout.
Open both and breathe in
They smell bad but I continue
Drinking more wine
It's okay. I keep doing it.
I'm high, giggling uncontrollably.

I keep sniffing, keep drinking.
Marker and wine
the mind-destroying music,
something's happening.

I look at my arms in fear.
Feel like something's growing out of me
See bugs and plants popping through my skin!
Scratch at them wildly
Try to get to the source and kill it
Like the head of a pimple and pull it out
A word across my mind -hallucinogen-
But it doesn't mean anything.
I get an idea-use a razor
And chop these things off
Before they get out!
Run to the bathroom.

NEWSPAPER: 16 YEAR OLD BOY FOUND DEAD IN BATHROOM OF HOUSE FROM SLASHED WRISTS.
ALCOHOL CONTENT IN BLOOD, PERMANENT MARKER STAINS ON SHIRT. CAUSE OF DEATH-SUICIDE.

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