I collect quotations. My one interesting work, I suppose. I find that taken out of context, they are funnier than there were in context. Some are examples of idiocy, others are sad reminders of society, and some just are wierd. Enjoy this SECOND page of quotations.
Quotations, from earliest to latest, undated.
Ms. Hoberg is a Blistex addict!-Me
PEA SOUP!-Me
Thumbtacks are very addictive-classmate
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them as much.-Oscar Wilde
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-Oscar Wilde
Nothing makes one so vain as being told one is a sinner.-Oscar Wilde (I like the way this guy thinks!)
[I] burned the plant and we've been laughing about it ever since.- Mrs. Cremers
Great. We have deperssed shrimp.-Me
You're all swirly. Wanna fuck?-Cuddles, from the Sith Academy , story XIX.
I like people. Juicy people. Stir 'em in a pot, uhn!-Alexis
Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies.-Alexis
I really could never do anything to hurt you, not purposefully anyway.-Spike-chan (I love him!)
I took 15 from you and you'll never get this back...-Orgy
The unreflected life is not worth living.-Socrates
Online, we're all the same.-Me
In the Beginning was the fish. And the fish was without gills. And the fish said [insert choking sound here]. And so endeth, the first day of Creation.-Dad
I'd miss you, pookie!-Aila (She's the only one EVER allowed to call me 'pookie'. And then only grudgingly.)
This is the pen. Give me the poems and nobody gets hurt.-Robin
Memory says, 'I did that.' Prides replies, 'I could not have done that.' Eventually, Memory yields.-Nietzsche.
I think that birds just jump really hight and the earth just moves, and they go places! Look, in an hour I'll be over there!-classmate.
We're an orange-Carol Ann
It's a gypped chipped tic tac!-Carol Ann
Dont' you love it when you hug your grandmother and mothballs fall out of her pockets?-classmate.
Gruesome, two-headed death.-Blake.
I'm totally relaxed, I don't care if it's the queen of England or a hooker on the street, or any of the spectrum of women in today's society-Liam Neeson, re: women.
Shave your eyelids?-Me
I am a contaminant?-Me
We'd have to fight over her-Liz (for those of you who know about this)
She's beating me with her toast!-classmate
Give me my bread!-classmate
Here's Mr Stick-Figure. Mr Stick-Figure has an erection. Here's Mr Stick-Figure's friend. See?-Me, explaining boyxboy sex
I don't have any blood in m body and yet it comes out!-Carol Ann
I hated a girl named Chrissy in 6th grade!-Mrs. Cremers
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's true love. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it.-Mr. Shugrue.
[Sushi], if I wasn't going out with Tim, I'd kiss you!-Carol Ann
Insert Sushi here.-Me
Hey, stuff happens!-Mrs. Lindsay, re: Stonewall Jackson's death
AS-TRO-TURF-Lucas
Is he still dead?-Car Talk
Now that I don't sound like a rabid goth, I'll try writing this again!-Me (in an english paper, no less!)
If Hitler had 3 scoops of sugar in his coffee instead of 2, would he have still attacked Poland?-Dad
Peace, Love, and Chicken, bawk bawk!-classmate
Some people pray to God. I pray to Joe Pesci.-classmate
Ugh, that was horrible! Give me another!-classmate
He's got maggots and stuff in his pants-classmate, re: another classmate
Oh, [Sushi], you goth-queen you!-Carol Ann (I removed my name, in favour of my pseudonym. So sue me.)
Pardon me, sir, while I burst into flame-Incubus
Suuuuure-Assad
Friends don't let frinds drive naked-Assad
I have nothing to wear, so wear nothing-Assad
I have no pants! I have no pants!-Assad (no, I don't know what he was on. If I did, I'd get you some.)
'I hate life.' ... 'Life hates you too' ... '...I feel better now.'-Me & Lucas talking
Genius is next to madness.-Dad
HagenMuffin, ja.-Hagen (He was rolling his eyes and doing that nod/smile thing)
Don't act like [Sushi]-Teacher
Bloodsports are fun...-Me
Hey James, I'll let you suck me off!-classmate
Oh, you think you're funny-James, re: previous statement
I love you Spike!-Me
Eeny Meeny Miney moe, pick the best one by the toe!-Mr Shugrue
How can you tell it by it's toe?-Me re: previous statement
They stuck a feather up their butt and flew, I don't know!-Mr. Shugrue
Almost only counts in horseshoes, grenades and nuclear attacks-Lucas
Schpuncter?-Lucas
I am speared by the movement, I mean I am moved by the spirit-Dad
Slurpslurp!-classmate
Burn me and call me Sally!-classmate
The third page of quotes will be up here.
All works here are copyrighted to Engel. Please respect the people that said these things, and don't steal.
