| Scarborough's Eggs |
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| Scarborough's Eggs |
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What can I say about the humble hen's egg that hasn't already been said? Well - as you've probably gathered, Eggs are important to me. They represent not only vital fuel to my rippling body as I go about the business of repelling those who would mount the counter and gain access to the hinter regions, but also a valuable weapon it that very skirmish!
I first beheld the power of eggs as a repellant when I was discovered snacking furtively upon an egg-based treat. Surprised, I turned rapidly and splashed the golden juice about my person. It was disasterous - the sticky albumen and glistening yolk anointed every part of my being and left me unable to perform my duties - in short I was vanquished, and forced to return to the cellar for fresh leather armour!
Since that fateful day, I have spent much time learning the way of the egg - how to nurture its power, despite its fearsome tendency to rear up at one. I have studied long and hard in my sweetcorn sleepharness, reading ancient stories about the mythical "Dairy Chair" and other egg-related incidents long forgotten by most.
Finally, I am able to deploy my Ovacentric Defence Systems in conjunction with my effective and longstanding skills in counter mounter access denial. I shall share my secrets with the faithful too, so that should the security of your Little Bishop be compromised, you are forearmed with yolk power!