Allan Smales - 12/19/99 21:42:40
My URL:ozgwm@hotmail.com
My Email:Melbourne

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Yesterday (Sunday 19th December) would have been Raymond's 34th birthday. I made myself a promise that I would visit his grave on his birthday this year. Accordingly, yesterday afternoon I drove out to the Springvale Cemetery with my bunch of proteas. I found the grave easily, having been there when a small group of us held a private memorial service there a few months ago. It was quiet and lonely there... initially nobody else around but myself. I later observed another small Chinese group visit a grave nearby, and they each bowed three times in front of that grave out of respect for their deceased loved one. I wondered if I should have done this for Raymond. Someone had visited Raymond's grave earlier today, presumably his sister and family. Fresh fruit offerings, and flowers, had been placed on his grave. I tried to imagine how they were feeling as they were not able to share his 34th birthday together. In fact, I was sort of hoping that I may have run into his sister at the grave yesterday, but I was obviously too late. I stood in front of that grave site for what seemed like an eternity, holding my bunch of proteas... trying to imagine what Raymond would be doing if the tragedy of last May had not occurred. I couldn't..... After standing in front of his grave for such a long time, contemplating..., dreaming..., the weather began to turn quite cold, overcast, and windy... I was beginning to shiver. I carefully placed my flowers on his grave. I again stood in front of his grave for several more minutes, before moving away to the warmth of my car. Raymond.... WHY? You had a great impact on my life, and I sincerely miss having you around. I will try to remember to visit you again on 19/12/2000. Allan.

andrew koo - 11/02/99 08:06:48
My URL:andrew_koo@wbuck.com.au
My Email:Melbourne

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Csaba, I am one of Raymond straight friend. I recently discovered the website and I am very moved. As I stroll through the site, I re-collect my memory of Raymond. I found that Raymond has given us all soemthing special and he has surely touched my heart. I issed him very much. In the future, I welcome any of you to write to me in the future if there are anything I can tell you. I am proud of what he has achieved and I am particularly happy to know that he is also loved by so many. I only wish I was there at some of teh party to see his joyful smile when he is of his true self. Andrew

- 10/29/99 12:35:49

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nestor - 10/23/99 21:18:53
My URL:http://tibats@hotmail.com
My Email:oslo

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i met raymond through one of his boyfriend. he was very hostile that time probably because i stayed at his boyfriend's flat. he never realised i didn't like to make problems with their relationship. but at least he showed some kind of friendliness when he drove me to the city. raymond didn't give me much impression but i heard a lot of good things about him from his boyfriend. i also felt sad upon knowing his death and the way he died. may he rest in peace.

Allan Smales - 10/19/99 04:54:25
My URL:ozgwm@hotmail.com
My Email:Melbourne

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One thing that has come to my mind in recent days, and considering a lot more information we have learned over the past couple of weeks from the Coroner's Report into his death, and also from the court findings as recently published on the internet, is so ething that Raymond said to me on at least a couple of occasions over the last year or two of his life. At the time I really didn't give the comment any significant credence.... until now. When I look back now, and realize what has happened, I begin to re lize that 2-3 years ago Raymond was already beginning to be concerned about some of the risky "activities" that he had obviously been involved in with other people. When talking about sex, and sluttishness in general, he happened to make a comment along the lines of "I wish I wasn't like this. I think it's getting to be a bit of a problem." or words to that effect! At least twice I can remember him making such a comment, and I passed it off as a concern that he might have considered himself as being too sluttish. I tried to reassure him that many guys get to be sluttish (if that's the term he wants to use) but that did not see anything wrong with that as long as you are happy, and you are not hurting anyone else. But now I am thinking he was trying to tell me something more significant. That he was already involved in that downhill spiral into more and more risky sex with others, and couldn't see a way out. Dear Raymond.... if only I had realized at the time that you were trying to tell me something quite different to what I thought you were trying to say. Maybe I could have saved you....... I'm sorry....

Anon - 10/07/99 23:45:48
My Email:Melbourne

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There is one memory of Raymond that for me stands out above any. We had met in 96 a few times and we were both at the Peel Hotel with our separate friends on New Year's Eve 97. Shortly after midnight we met at the edge of the dance floor. We both had had a few drinks and we stood and chatted for a while. It was crow ed with mainly Asian guys dancing nearby. Out of the blue he grabbed hold of me and kissed me long, hard and passionately. He had never kissed me before at all. My head swam, I saw stars, my body went limp. Eventually when we broke apart I just stood t ere shocked and stunned and I became aware that we had an audience of the guys dancing. I slowly regained my senses and realised that it was a risky thing to do as my partner was there somewhere and could have seen this happen, but I had no power to stop him. Raymond knew this too. I never understood his motivation for this but the impetuousness, risk and the need to be in control and show it was typical of him. Whatever the reason, it will be a wonderful memory of him for me. I have never experienced a kiss like that since and it saddens me greatly that I won't again from him.

Allan Smales - 10/07/99 22:05:45
My URL:ozgwm@hotmail.com
My Email:Melbourne

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Raymond was a great guy to know and I enjoyed his company very much. We had casually gone out together many times over more than four years, including a weekend in Sydney for Mardi Gras last year (1998), and a weekend at Warburton in May last year for a b otscoot farmshed dance, just four weeks before his death. That was to be the very last time I would ever see him. I just wish I could determine just exactly what really happened on the night of 29th May, 1998. I miss your friendship greatly.... a big hole in my life.

- 10/06/99 09:52:02

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Csaba - 10/05/99 02:26:29
My Email:Melbourne

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Finally I managed to make this Guestbook thing work! I welcome your comments and any stories and memories you may have of Raymond. If you don't want to share it with everyone, just e-mail me. Thanks, Csaba