March 2002

Entry #35: 03/30/02...10:53PM

Last night I went to a club in Broad Ripple called the Eden. I hadn't been there since I first began going out to clubs. The Vogue was still the place to go on Sundays if that tells you Hoosiers anything...hehe. I remember the first time being there, & hating it. I had just become so comfortable being gay that I was uncomfortable being around straights. It was before I had begun dancing, so the music was strange to me. I just never returned because I hadn't liked it...
Now, the DJ spinning last night was Christopher Lawrence...He spun an awesome House/Trance mix that was great...I left the place dripping wet...
Sometimes the only thing I can do to relieve stress & forget about my worries is to just let go, & the best way I can do that is to just let it all go when I'm dancing...
This is necessary considering all that I've had upon returning here to Indy...
It's not so bad, but it's no where near as fun as Chicago seemed to be. It's seemed more mundane, no doubt, due to my unfortunate string of bad luck...First taking forever to find a job, then losing it after a few months...& taking forever again...then finding a serving job at a slow time...
Plus there's never any place to go other than on the weekends...I mean, places here have something happening, but they aren't usually great things. They can be fun, but not all the time. I really like to dance, some place with great music, & a lot of people...the kind that got everyone to come...straight, gay, bi, whatever...
I'm beginning to enjoy the gay lifestyle less & less though as time wears on...I don't know if that's how it's supposed to go as you get older...seems logical that it would work that way.
The gay lifestyle though, & I shudder at that term at times, is at once so shallow & of an intense emotional depth. &, as such, it can exhaust you & age you beyond your years...I'm gonna have to leave any more philosophy on that topic for my rant page...A new addition to my webpage. As long-winded as I can be at times I decided I would benefit from one, & thereby shorten my journal entries...


Entry #36: 03/31/02...1:53PM

Okay...Whew!
All of my journal entries have been copied into my laptop, & so introduced into my new page layout...Yes, I have changed my page yet again...hehe...I think you will appreciate the more uniform look I have given it, as well as trimming the fat, & so making it much less all-encompassing of my life's banality...
I had a lot of thoughts as I was copying the entries, & had to use much restraint to avoid rewriting some entries...Not so much changing them as merely just tweaking them with my hindsight more keen...hehe...
I don't know that I have a lot I want to say in this journal today...I think instead I will gather my thoughts & spend my time on my rant page instead...
As always...I will try & be more faithful to making entries...



April